h a l f b a k e r y"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, best, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
BubbaCo Subhuman Resources Division runs a number of training courses for aspirant managers, not unlike the redoubtable Xe (formerly Blackwater but renamed in similar fashion to a former popstar whose public profile evaporated after a similar change in corporate identity).
Our most popular course**
is one that emphasises an individual's capacity for self-reliance, self-effacement and self-abuse.
We literally cast you adrift in a remote area of the southwestern Pacific Ocean, in a boat that leaks at a controlled rate designed to allow you no more than four hours continuous sleep without the boat filling with water and soaking you.
Food, at a subsistence level, is supplied. You are encouraged to plan your consumption rate carefully, to simulate operating on a limited budget.
Every so often, one of our highly trained operatives, working from a submerged submarine, slips aboard your boat and inserts a sharp object into a difficult-to-reach spot in your back, apparently for fun. In reality, it is a simple simile for loss of faith in you by your immediate superior.
**Course participants may be required to sign a waiver absolving BubbaCo SRD of any liability for subsequent physical, spiritual, psychological or imaginary effects, deleterious or otherwise, such waiver to be of effect for indefinite duration.
What is [Ian] talking about?
http://www.google.c...a+leaky+boat+&meta=
[hippo, Sep 29 2009]
[link]
|
| |
Evil is a word bandied about these days so that the meaning is often diluted. You are, however, most definitely sadistic. |
|
| |
Every few days you will have to dismantle and completely rebuild your boat as a metaphor for the love of large corporations to disguise internal problems by restructuring. Having done this, you will 'downsize' your boat by throwing an essential component - an oar - far away and then paddle frantically after it with the remaining oar to retrieve it, forfeiting a day's ration of food to symbolise the costs of redundancy and rehiring payments. |
|
| |
Dammit, [hippo], I specifically asked you, when you signed our unofficial secrets act, not to divulge any proprietary course materials to the public. What ARE you thinking, man? |
|
| |
Good single from the Enz. Still play a lot of Disrythmia
and Frenzy (the latter I think containing a lot of their
most mature stuff). |
|
| |
I have a sinking feeling about this. |
|
| |
Mea culpa. I was discussing executive training and the silly fad for survival courses in the 1980s, with a business associate today, when I thought of this idea. The title seemed appropriate, given the timing. |
|
| |
Maybe market this as an "extreme vacation" and catch the recently graduated lot who've never sat the '80s. |
|
| |
Why does this sound so much like my career? |
|
| |
We use you as an example in many of our practical exercises, [RS]. |
|
| |
For a complete simulation of corporate life, the experience should include a blindfold (to keep you in the dark) and an occasional plastic bag to urine dropped with amazing accuracy from a satellite, to give the genuine sensation of being pissed on from a great height. |
|
| |
Make that stale urine and you're hired as a course facilitator, [8/7]. |
|
| |
//self-reliance, self-effacement and self-abuse.// so it's run by se(a)men ? |
|
| |
Yeah, show us your coxswain. |
|
| |
They've been watered down a bit, but sports and management courses are still going. After the last one, I now refuse to go to any S&M type events. |
|
| |
Ah, team bonding... rubbing you up against a pack of irritating bastards you didn't like to start with, in the hope you'll somehow miraculously learn to like them after they've managed to "accidentally" dump you in a freezing lakeful of duckweed and water lice. |
|
| |
...or is [bigsleep] referring to a different kind of "S&M event"? |
|
| |
[hippo] You obviously didn't read [UB]'s anno. |
|
| |
I think he read it. S&M in the office is kinda frowned upon these days, unless the sadism is purely psychological and the masochism is down to the victim being afraid of trying to get a different job. |
|
| |
This song was banned in the UK during the Falklands war |
|
| |
On HMS Herpes or HMS Invisible? |
|
| |
Would i be able to get a message to my girl if i did this? |
|
| |
Only if you were all in the same boat. |
|
| |