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My cat Hemingway has gotten old. She often falls asleep behind books on a shelf, or under a bed, or almost anywhere, really. Back when her hearing was good, I’d open a can of cat food and she’d come flying. But now, alas, sometimes she misses supper, not to mention breakfast.
And sometimes
I can’t find her at all <wrings hands>.
Thus, the Hemingway Canticle. It’s a digital recorder with five seconds of memory. I push the button and play five seconds of Hemingway’s most salivating sounds, over and over at a greatly increased volume.
phuuuupk....phuuuupk...phuuuupk.
Works great! Now I can find Hemingway without using up an entire twelve-pack of cat food.
fatwa sam's
http://www.fatwasam.com/index.htm
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Walter Miller's "A Canticle for Liebowitz"
http://www.imaginedat.net/miller.htm
"...Pound pastrami ... can kraut, six bagels--bring home for Emma...." [bristolz, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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Think this could basically work the same way for Alzheimer's patients? You may be on to something there. |
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Maybe by hiding and not eating the cat is trying to tell you something. |
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She was asleep. Sleeping behind a book when she heard a loud sound. She heard it again. It woke her up. Now it was dinnertime. Her owner would be waiting with some food. |
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I retract my previous statement. |
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Imagines [pluterday], up on the roof, in a minaret, 5 times each day. |
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Whiskahu Akbar!
Whiskahu Akbar!
Whiskahu Akbar!
Whiskahu Akbar!
Ash-hadu alla ilaha illwhiska
Ash-hadu alla ilaha illwhiska
Ash-hadu anna Pluterdayar Rasulwhiska
Ash-hadu anna Pluterdayar Rasulwhiska
Hayya alamezze
Hayya alamezze
Hayya alal-Hammour
Hayya alal-Hammour
Whiskahu Akbar!
Whiskahu Akbar!
La ilaha illwhiska
La ilaha illwhiska
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Leibewitz (sp) would approve. |
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Bun for the uh, cat-call(?) to prayer. |
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I guess I should expect a fatwa now? |
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//Whiskahu Akbar!//
<amused, pluter presses button on Canticle>
ha!...ha!...ha!...ha!...ha!... |
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Thousands of area cats disappear --on pilgrimage to local
resident’s hillside estate. Conflicting reports of heinous
laughter being broadcast from loud speakers. Details soon. |
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Perhaps a catechism, to combat the Islamist yodelling? |
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A cattlechasm might work faster. |
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To everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a reason (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to use all purpose,
to make it leavend
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A time to rise,
A time to sleep
A time for chillin' your idea to keep
A time to broil,
A time to flame,
A time for killin' ideas that are lame
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For each invention (Turn Turn Turn)
There is convention (Turn turn turn)
And a time to bake it,
or just composte it... |
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