Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Extruded? Are you sure?

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Absolute Drivel

Just so's you know.
  (+16, -7)(+16, -7)
(+16, -7)
  [vote for,

Drivel should not only have a quantifiable scale, but it should also have an immutable internationally recognised datum line. This datum shall be known as 'Absolute Drivel', which all other drivel is by definition, relative to.
Ian Tindale, Jan 28 2005

bogometer http://burks.bright...ks/foldoc/58/13.htm
[benfrost, Jan 28 2005]

This looks like a job for... http://www.iso.org/
[Detly, Jan 29 2005]

There's also The Wonderful Wankometer http://www.cynicalb...rds.com/wankometer/
The Halfbakery 'About' page has a rating of 0.43/10 [Detly, Jan 29 2005]


       Cross referenceable to a bogonometer.
bristolz, Jan 28 2005

       Do you mean the Bogometer?
benfrost, Jan 28 2005

       Ooops. Yes.
bristolz, Jan 29 2005

       Absolute Dribble?
yamahito, Jan 29 2005

       Such devices are indeed handy to quantify and measure drivel - but the real breakthrough is in prevention. What one needs is some sort of vocal gate that limits the flow of Superfluons via elctro static muscle stimulation.   

       The presence of radiating Cliche Rays that bind the Superfluons to the attracted no-matter Banaliums were only recently discovered during a late night news broadcast on the subject of domestic concrete reserves.   

       Who knows? Maybe some day with the right distribution of reseacrh funding we may further unlock the dull mysteries that have spawned rolling tumbleweeds throughout recorded history.   

       <Drivel Alert: Elevated>
benfrost, Jan 29 2005

       Absolut dribble.
bristolz, Jan 29 2005

       Absolute drivel, or -273 on the drivel scale, is the point at which all thought molecules cease motion. When the thought molecules just can't move any slower, then you know you've reached absolute drivel.   

       But what about half drivel? That's more what this site's about...
robinism, Jan 29 2005

       The drivel scale is on the metric system, so 100 is the fomenting point of ideas, and -273 is absolute drivel. Absolute zero is zero degrees kelvin, not -273.
robinism, Jan 29 2005

       If it's a scale then some new, comparative words are needed to express the idea that some things can be more drivelly, or drivellier, than other things. Obviously, AD is the drivelliest thing there is.
hippo, Jan 29 2005

       Maybe the level of AD could be measured by checking the status of the sufferer.
100 dBAD: losing the will to live
50 dBAD: coma
20 dBAD: glazed eyes.
0 dBAD extreme excitement.
Ling, Jan 30 2005

       Where on the scale is the concept of absolute drivel itself?
nineteenthly, Jan 30 2005

       about 110dBAD
Ling, Jan 30 2005

       I'm not convinced, I must say. I don't believe that there is an 'absolute' level for drivel.

Even when you think that you've reached the nadir in human communication, there's always somebody who can talk/write/think even more bollocks than the last person.

I guess that what I am really saying is that the term 'Absolute Drivel' is merely a rhetorical device and is, itself, drivel.
DrBob, Jan 31 2005

       Rather than a scale, I propose a percentile measure of drivel: Gibber. This would mean that an item of communication that made perfect irrefutable sense would be 0% and -273 on the "Absolute Drivel" scale would correspond to 100%, pure Gibberish.   

       (I predict that, as [DrBob] hints to, the Gibberish will act like the 'proof' measure of alcohol and the some datum may actually be 120% over- Gibberish or higher)
Jinbish, Jan 31 2005

       Established by international agreement, the Tindale Scale is the metric system’s newest addition. While many other measures (e.g., hogwash, horseshit, baloney,) have been used, degrees Tindale provide the first universally recognized scale against which all human communications may be measured. Zero degrees Tindale has arbitrary been taken as a statement made by the American President George W. Bush. Making no sense whatsoever, this has been engraved into a block of platinum-iridium alloy and placed in a hermitically sealed case at the Bureau of Standards at Paris.
ldischler, Jan 31 2005

       I find the most difficult distinction is not the drivel content, but the variety of drivel itself. Subcategories of drivel include nonsense, bunkum (and sub- subcategory bunk), technobabble, psychobabble, balderdash, hooey, rubbish, rot, crap, shit (including bull and chicken), rigamarole, equivocation, mumbo-jumbo and economic predictions. How does one scientifically diffrentiate (note: some varieties, like technobabble, can be identified with relative ease.)? I find that while measuring drivel levels relative to absolute drivel can be somewhat useful, it's important to measure the more lateral energy levels, especially the frequencies of Drivel Wavelengths (D.Q.s) instead of just the amplitude. If only it were easier to quantify.
schematics, Jan 31 2005

       factor in the temperature of the air, ranging from blue to hot, would that aid in quantification? or intensity?
dentworth, Feb 01 2005

       [schematics] - there is an analogy to this - sound. There are many different types of sound, but only one measure of volume. However, it's possible to measure an effective volume by assigning certain factors to different frequencies.   

       Another analogy is in radiation dosimetry - there are different weighting factors for high energy gamma, low energy gamma, beta, alpha, fast neutrons, thermal neutrons, etc.
Detly, Feb 01 2005

intransitive senses
1 : to let saliva dribble from the mouth : SLAVER
2 : to talk stupidly and carelessly
transitive senses
1 : to utter in an infantile or imbecilic way
2 : to waste or fritter in a childish fashion

       Seems the definitions of the word drivel are varied enough to create some difficulties in properly containing the idea in terms of absolute measurement. Whereas we could definitely measure the amount of saliva or "slather" coming from a driveler, it would be less easy, for instance, to measure the stupidity or carelessness of a phrase containing several words which, when used in a different context, would not be drivel. Take any word... I'll use "careless" as an example. If someone were to use the word "careless" in a careless manner it would be considered drivel. But if care was taken in the careful use of the word "careless," driviality would be greatly reduced.   

       Also, drivel is in the ear of the behearer, in my opinion. For instance, when I hear a man prattle on about the insignificant details of his uninteresting day, the drivel rating is high. But if this same man has nice eyes and is blushing slightly while he talks to me, I am more likely to be interested in what he's saying. I think drivel is a matter of opinion, therefore, and thus is unpinnable downable. <checks AD rating on own comment and then goes back to boring desk job>
k_sra, Feb 02 2005

       This is true. Drivel is the inverse product of information content and sexual attractiveness.
ldischler, Feb 02 2005

       Oh, and I voted "for" this idea.
k_sra, Feb 02 2005

       I would, but it's Absolute Drivel.
Worldgineer, Feb 02 2005

       The meter needs recalibrating. It seems to keep swinging into the red portion above '0' and pinning against the limit, lately.
Ian Tindale, Jan 13 2006

       What is the triple point of drivel?
coprocephalous, Jan 13 2006

       I smashed my hand on the keyboard and this is what was returned:   

       "e65 hn dg7u6"   

       I propose that as the international standard.
Cuit_au_Four, Jan 13 2006

       I propose "72v-058uy25" as the new standard.
Minimal, Jan 13 2006

       Jacques Derrida's unwillingness to even attempt to point to anything that might be seen as a centre of the linguistic universe. The post-enlightenment exposition that we are not the centre of the universe, that the sun the stars don't revolve around us, seems to have de-centred our perception of any large structure to the deprecated detrimental position where we can honestly and confidently state that we don't know where we are at all, and perhaps shouldn't. Everything only relates to other stuff, nothing is fixed as an absolute to measure from. But post- enlightenment science does in fact have absolute points of reference - Kelvin, for example. Understanding and meaning probably have an absolute zero too.
Ian Tindale, Nov 01 2009

       // absolute points of reference //   

       Indeed. It's possible to k now, for instance, with absolute certainty, where the sun shines from.   

       But he's still far from likely to get that EU President job he's been angling for.
8th of 7, Nov 01 2009


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle