h a l f b a k e r y
Viva los semi-panaderos!
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These are alarm clocks that say things like: "Oh boy, time to get back on the Snosleng account!"; "Hey, Handsome—I'm that sexy spreadsheet you left at the office"; "Up 'n' at 'em! Today's your presentation to the Cuttlefish Board!", etc. In other words, they remind us of the various reasons we'd rather
stumble around, half-naked, in a cold, dark room; put on a bunch of tight-fitting, impractical clothes; and participate in Rush Hour, so that we can, more likely than not, graciously contend with a bunch of self-important imbeciles, than stay in a warm, cozy bed.
Reminder Alarm Clock
http://www.halfbake...der_20Alarm_20Clock
... similar ... [egnor, Nov 14 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Carry Me Home
http://www.halfbake...ome_2ecom#997369051
Not a bed, but, well, appropriate for this discussion. [bristolz, Dec 28 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Annotation:
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This could be rather ugly for people without much prospect of even this kind of excitement in the day ahead. |
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(You wake up. You look at the alarm clock. It is 11:17 A.M. You stare at the clock. There is a painful silence.) |
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You: What's going on here, clock? |
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I'd rather have a bed that just took me to wherever it is I'm supposed to be going without the hassle of actually waking me up at all. |
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You're wandering around the house desperately hoping you don't do one of those surpressed sniggers that come out of your nose again when you're introduced to Steven Quid from Cuttlefish. |
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The kitchen sink tells you it's full of dishes coated in a mixture of cold water and fat, the fridge tells you not to open the door as something's trying to escape, your shoes tell you they breach the Kyoto convention and the voting machine keeps phoning you up to remind you that you didn't vote for the candidate you thought you did. |
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I think my clock would have to lie to me on occasion. Perhaps some alarm clock/ car collusion could get me to the gym in the mornings. |
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The idea about appliances conspiring against you is genius. |
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Your clock claims that it's ten in the morning, but it's dark when you stagger outside. Your car insists that it's taking you to the airport, where the phone has booked you on a flight to a tropical paradise. You pull up outside the gym. The car says it's out of gas. You try to flee. Your wristwatch gets itself caught on something -- "accidentally" -- and the car swings around to cut you off. |
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and then Sally Struthers eats the watch, the car, and finally you. |
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//I'd rather have a bed that just took me to wherever it is I'm supposed to be going without the hassle of actually waking me up at all.// |
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Maybe we need to combine this bed with a self-driving car. |
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I think that this sort of thing may be Bill Gates ultimate dark dream. Your outlook alarm clock sync'd with your work schedule. |
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And what would mine say, hmm? Probably something like, "Get up, it's a brand new, beautiful day and you have work to do! Think of all of those essays that are due next week...you could start one today! You also still have to finish your speech, and..." |
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This is why I stay in *bed* in the morning. My morning schedual is planned almost to the second so that I do not miss *any* potential sleep. I get out of bed by 6:33 and I run out the door at exactly 6:55 (6:56 is a stretch, but doable. Anything after that and I'll be late). |
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