h a l f b a k e r y
Fewer ducks than estimates indicate.
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Asleep on the beach, I awoke to a stinging pain in my elbow. I jerked my head up and was horrified to see what looked like dozens of large spiders scurrying away. They were really crabs. Inch long black-brown ugly things. They had been watching me, and had decided I was dead. Go away! I shouted, throwing
a spray of sand at them. They backed off, but waited there outside of throwing distance, waiting me out, waiting for me to be no longer non-dead. Snoozing was impossible.
So I tried different things. I made a beach towel with tiny whirligigs stuck all around it. Very festive. And it even worked until the breeze died down. But it was not rugged enough -- all the whirlies broke off in the wash.
Then I hit upon the marquee light idea. Filling a clear plastic tube with a stringer of LEDs, I rigged up a controller to blink them in sequence so that it looked like there was constant movement, like marquee lights. Making a circle of constant movement around my towel with it, Ive created a crab-free zone. No worries now. But sometimes I think that theyre still out there, in their burrows, watching me, waiting for the batteries to die...
Be careful, it doesn't specify whether it repels or attracts them. [Amos Kito, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Man, if you want to avoid crabs
...you need to practice safe sex. [DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
HB Film Festival at [Pluterday]'s house tonight! We'll be screening
the scariest crab movie ever! [snarfyguy, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Ninjas Fight Pirates with Lasers
only other place I've seen where pirates use lasers...see the story pages... [timpestuous, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Chinese mitten crab
[thumbwax, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Crabs in London
This is my favourite Website at the moment [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[Dr Curry] This is just up your street
Still my favourite Website... [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Your One-Stop-Shop for good and evil (crabs) [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Great Crabs, Great Music and Britney!
Lonely child scared by crabs [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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||This calls for exploding, custard-filled pirates with lasers strapped to their heads.
||Good grief - where do you go to the beach? I've never seen anything like that any place I've been. (Southend may be pretty tame, but I've been up and down the East Coast and all round the Caribbean.)
(And my solution is killing the damn things. a) they'll get the message pretty quickly; b) any survivors will be too busy eating their squashed comrades.)
||Kill them! I could never bring myself to do anything of the sort. I did try distracting them with Fritos, but this just attracted a bigger, angrier crowd. They were not particularly social, these crabs. A couple of them hogged the chips, rushing about with open claws to scare off the slightly smaller ones. And I pictured myself dead, the alpha crab sitting on my back, guarding his fantastic prize...
||Hey [pluterday], I just got Roger Corman's "Attack of the Crab Monsters" on DVD! [bliss] is bringing the popcorn! We'll be over at eight!
||<peering out between closed drapes> Ok snarf, but be careful. I dont see anything now, but Im sure theyre out there, just waiting...
||i think this is one of the main reasons for the lounge chair , raises you above the clawed masses without an extension cord
||pluterday - were they Chinese mitten crabs? If so, eradicate with extreme prejudice.
||I think an extension cord is easier to carry than a lounge chair. Plus, I OWN an extension cord.
||I think what you need is a dog to chase the crabs. Unless of course your dog falls asleep... Well, would still work as an early warning system "Yip" (the sound of a dog waking up in pain).
||[gnomethang] Your links, bravo! Esp. the lonely child link
ah, I died!
[thumb] No, they weren't Chinese mitten crabs. Thank God.
[slapdash loser] Lounge chairs are so
||I like catching crabs...they pinch pretty hard, though so you gotta get 'em just the right way! Quite amusing!