h a l f b a k e r yStrap *this* to the back of your cat.
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We all know the feeling: Someone makes a clever observation in conversation and we're not sure whether it is appropriate, or not.
The Apothegmatic Assistant is a cultural reference database of aphorisms and quotes from popular literature, to allow the perplexed victim to determine the suitability
of such witticisms to the circumstances.
With the global spread of faster communication systems, such as email, it is increasingly likely that previously isolated idiom will manifest itself in new fora.
No longer wonder whether "screwed the pooch" is as nasty as it sounds.
[link]
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Are you looking for a stud? |
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He'll be trying to impress the wallflowers. |
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An idea somewhat like this exists internally at my company as a system known as "Poli-Check." It is a content-checking tool designed to search for sensitive geopolitical terms and phrases for documents, documentation and even Web sites, to make sure that, if they are circulated globally, they don't contain things that could be potentially offensive in another culture. |
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Call it an outgrowth of the live and learn method of making friends and influencing people--or not, as the case has been--it has saved many a manager's bacon since it's inception. |
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“Charlene, did you see what UB said?”
“No, what?”
“Screwed the pooch!”
“Hah! Charlie did that once.”
I was stunned. I dropped the loaf of cards right there on the floor.
“What did you do that for?” Charlene said.
“You said Charlie screwed the pooch!”
“No, I didn’t. I said he fucked up.”
“Oh,” I said, wondering if that was an improvement, “for a minute I thought he'd done something to Fluffy.”
“Well, he won’t anymore. I told that Charlie Mihalak to keep his wanking hands off, or I’d bobbit his johnson.”
That’s when I started feeling dizzy, and called an apothegmatic assistant. |
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What was dizzy's reaction to your apparently unwanted advances? |
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Don't you just hate that it has become acceptable not
to capitalise proper nouns, these days? |
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[bristolz], that's the sort of thing. I am aware of an instance where Mitsubishi Motors began selling their Pajero model in Spanish-speaking countries, and renamed it, as the word is also colloquial Spanish for "lazy, foolish wanker" or something similar. It's called a Montero, I believe? |
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