Assassins for Hire

This afternoon, I was thinking to myself, how cool it would be to hire an assassin. Oh Oh! Don't misunderstand me! I am not in any way advocating assasination, or any scheme whereby one person kills another for money! It's just that I wish I could honestly say "I've hired an assassin before, you know," And come to think of it, who wouldn't like to be able to say that?

Now good assassins are thankfully hard to find. However, bad ones... Oh my! The prisons are full of them! There they are, sitting around, paying for their crimes, trading cigarettes for bitches, or whatnot that may or may not go on in prisons. These bad assassins are an untapped boon to people like me, who wish we could honestly claim to have hired an assassin. After all, it's not like we need them to assassinate anyone. Hiring them for any purpose at all would suffice!

These individuals, tried and convited for assasinatinonist crimes, make poor assassins, but at the same time, they are proven assassins. I propose a system whereby they can be hired over the internet to perform various tasks: call services, data entry, illustration, proofreading, etc. Any who are released from prison can be hired to perform more typical tasks, such as various work-at-home schemes, odd jobs, depending on trust levels, and legal restrictions, and even various temp, or permanent positions in typical jobs.

Prisoners, and Ex- cons are likely to enjoy having employment for various reasons: Supporting loved ones at home, paying off debts, purchasing those things they can still buy in prison, having something productive to do, being able to fill in otherwise embarrasing gaps in their employment history, getting new job experience, etc. Unfortunately, when you're a convicted killer, most traditional 9-5 employers aren't very keen on hiring you.

All the same, I suspect the number of people who wish they had hired an assassin (or burglar, or various other types of convicts) just so they could honestly state certain threatening things, would be high enough to ensure a fairly large supply of potential employers for these felonious types, and if rehabilitation is in any way possible, getting these folks gainful employment is one clear necessity.