Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Aussie Army Knife

The mate you can't be without on any walkabout
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In case of an outback croc attack just snap out its one foot Dundee blade. After that close shave, have another or shear some sheep with the razor attachment. Confronted by a fifty year old eucalyptus in your path? Cut it down in a jiffy with the 18 speed, pedal-driven, chain saw. The enclosed XL fly swatter can also be used as a barbecue grill and screen door. The knife's handle folds out to a boomerang with roo bar to daze crazed kangaroos. On the beach you'll make use of the combination shark hook - corkscrew. On the hunt in the city, your tool will impress the girls...even more so when you take it out of your pants, apply gentle pressure downunder and out pops its economy pack condom dispenser. But before you go to bed, screw the hook-corkscrew into the back of the boomerang and presto! a coat hanger for your raincoat.
FarmerJohn, May 23 2002

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       Now *that's* a knife.
phoenix, May 23 2002
  

       could have sworn a certain HBer had one of these on his keyring.
po, May 23 2002
  

       What a ripper.
[ sctld ], May 23 2002
  

       I assume it also has fold-out wheels and a handle to pull it along by.
pottedstu, May 23 2002
  

       No wuckers.
waugsqueke, May 23 2002
  

       Can I have a Scottish Army knife? Just a bottle opener and a 30ft, 150lb toothpick (for cleaning teeth, or tossing at the Sassies).
mcscotland, May 23 2002
  

       I'm wondering why you need a corkscrew. If you really *must* have wine (for the Sheilas, I suppose), don't you just push the cork *into* the bottle?
angel, May 23 2002
  

       Apparently, a good bump on the bottom of a wine bottle (eg against a tree) will pop the cork out - something due to different speeds of sound through wine and glass.. The drawback is that the quick sharp hit is very similar to the force needed to smash the bottle.
yamahito, May 23 2002
  

       Strewth maate, surely there should be some barbie tongs too ?
neilp, Oct 26 2004
  

       i had the misfortune of visiting Australia Zoo on Sunday here in Queensland. We arrived late and missed the croc show, but they still made us pay $27 to wander about the U Bewt gift shops - filled with plastic effigies of Steve Irwin shouting "Crikey" when u pressed his chest. All the animals looked as unimpressed as those who payed to get in.
benfrost, Oct 26 2004
  

       [neilp] those would be the 'tweezers' in the handle
scubadooper, Oct 26 2004
  
      
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