Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Automatic fire-extinguishing cooking range and hood

I couldn't think of a catchy title
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As I paused in the act of Dysoning approximately 700 lbs. of dry chemical flame retardant from nearly every surface of my kitchen, I regarded the Dali-esque sculpture that was once a rather nice over- the-range microwave oven and thought "there's got to be a halfbake in this somewhere."

A mere two days later, I have it.

This would be a one-piece unit, rather like an over-under washer/dryer, that incorporates oven, rangetop, range hood, and microwave (I suppose one could leave out the microwave, but why?). In the event of a cooking fire, reasonably airtight barriers would snap up from each side of the range (pushing any overhanging pots or handles inwards) and make a seal with the hood, isolating the fire. At the same time, the chamber thus formed would be flooded with CO2 (some of which will have been used to propel the barriers). Since this would happen very quickly, spilled burning material would not have a chance to escape the extinguishing chamber, and hands or arms would most likely be knocked out of the way rather than trapped (as is the case with car airbags).

Once the fire is out, if the chamber is completely sealed, it remains that way until manually unlocked, preferably by a service tech. If a complete seal was not made due to the unlikely occurence of a limb or other obstruction, the barrier remains locked in place just long enough for the CO2 to be depleted and will then release. The extinguisher will hold an excess of gas to maximize the possibility of success even in the event of an incomplete seal.

It seems like there should be more, but that's it, really.

Alterother, Mar 19 2012

Air curtains http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_door
Non-solid barrier [BunsenHoneydew, Apr 07 2012]

Range hood fire extinguisher http://www.regencyf...-hood-systems.shtml
[Klaatu, Apr 08 2012]

Under-hood extinguishers http://www.hallfire...tml/fire_stop_.html
An inexpensive and equally messy solution to handheld extinguishers [Alterother, Apr 08 2012]

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       How is it triggered?
pocmloc, Mar 19 2012
  

       It could detect the sound of panicky screaming ...   

       Why not have a spring-loaded silica-fibre curtain system - like a conventional fire blanket ?   

       For burning fat or oil, foam would be superior to CO2.   

       Has the possibility of ejecting the whole cooking appliance from the premises by use of a mechanism similar to an ejector seat, been seriously considered ? If no, why not ?   

       If the kitchen were kept filled with pure nitrogen, and those using it wore facemasks with flow and return lines so that no oxygen escaped, fires would quite simply be impossible. As a bonus, this would also kill all aerobic bacteria.
8th of 7, Mar 19 2012
  

       Foam, foam on the range,
quells the fear and phobia of flames;
Where seldom it's durned, that the kitchen got burned,
and the house is not smokey all day-ee.
  

       I'm with [8th] on the ejector idea, but if you want an easy collective bun...   

       Cats, being nosy creatures, will happily hop up on the stove to see what's up, so a motion-sensor with a time-delay (to ignore occasional pot-stirring) to catch a feline busybody...
FlyingToaster, Mar 19 2012
  

       Foam is better, I know*, but I started thinking that in a sealed capsule CO2 will be just as effective and the ensuing mess will be minimal. As for triggering, I figured it could use the same mechanism as those magnetic under- hood canisters, a consumable plug that would melt and release the propellant/smotherant gases.   

       I guess there was something more, after all.   

       *I'm pretty well-versed in basic fire safety, for two reasons: 1) a long time ago, I was the last to take one step backward when a volunteer for the position of 'safety officer' was requested, and 2) things tend to catch on fire when I'm around. Occasionally, I'm not responsible for it.
Alterother, Mar 20 2012
  

       // Has the possibility of ejecting the whole cooking appliance ... been seriously considered ? If no, why not ? //   

       Yes, but purely for entertainment purposes. As a means of fire safety, no.
Alterother, Mar 20 2012
  

       Surely Halon is the stuff for this, rather than CO2. At least, that was what we had, back in the day when the torpedo tubes were just aft of the galley.   

       Halon, once it's done, is incredibly easy to clean up, will put anything out, and tends to fall straight down without getting around further than required. It won't run off like CO2 does, so the seal isn't as important.
Carmi, Mar 20 2012
  

       //If a complete seal was not made due to the unlikely occurence of a limb or other obstruction, the barrier remains locked in place just long enough for the CO2 to be depleted and will then release.//   

       Thus allowing the fire to re-ignite, because it hasn't had time to cool down?
Wrongfellow, Mar 20 2012
  

       //flooded with CO2//   

       How about impregnating the inside of the curtain-walls with Sodium Bicarb? >70C and it releases water and carbon-dioxide.   

       However, both microwave and regular oven could be rigged up with a zeolite nitrogen separator: when the door is closed everything except the N2 is pumped out. What could possibly go wrong ?
FlyingToaster, Mar 20 2012
  

       Is Halon illegal now, or is it on OSHA's shit-list for some other reason? (Okay, so my knowledge is a little out of date...)
Alterother, Mar 20 2012
  

       Technically it's illegal, apart from certain very limited and specialized uses.   

       But, as with all such "illegal" things, it's just a matter of knowing the right (or wrong) people ....
8th of 7, Mar 20 2012
  

       I generally consider them the right people.   

       // Thus allowing the fire to re-ignite, because it hasn't had time to cool down? //   

       It's a possibility, but high-pressure CO2 cools things pretty damn fast.   

       It just occurred to me that the range should automatically shut off when the extinguisher is triggered. I'd like to think you've all been giving me benefit of the doubt and just assuming that was part of the function... but I know better than that. Obviously, still a work in progress. Perhaps I'll incorporate all of these good ideas people have suggested in a future edit.
Alterother, Mar 20 2012
  

       Why not just build a Darwinian kitchen? Just replace the burnt items with flame-proof substitutes and repeat the process after your next 3 or 4 conflagrations. From then on, you will only have to remove yourself from the immediate danger of the flames for a few minutes. When you come back, scrape the cooled charcoal scraps of your venison sausages into the dog's bowl and start cooking again.
AusCan531, Mar 20 2012
  

       My trunk caught on fire last week and all I could do was stare. That DIY fix did NOT go well.
DIYMatt, Mar 21 2012
  

       What manner of trunk be this?
Alterother, Mar 21 2012
  

       The trunk of my car. Where the battery is coincidentally located.
DIYMatt, Mar 21 2012
  

       Oh, yeah, that SUCKS. Been there. My sympathies.
Alterother, Mar 21 2012
  

       One could perhaps use an inverted high-velocity air curtain [link] to surround the range, rather than a solid barrier. Far less dangerous for squishy carbon units.   

       And pure nitrogen as the extinguishing agent. Released from a pressure canister, it would be rather cold, as well as displacing the oxygen. Recirculation from the hood to outlets in the range ought to serve as well as solid barrier containment. And dispersing nitrogen is essentially harmless to humans and their companion mammals.
BunsenHoneydew, Apr 07 2012
  

       I've been thinking about coming back to this one, writing up a v2 incorporating all the great suggestions in the annos. Been kinda off-and-on busy lately, but I'll update it pretty soon.
Alterother, Apr 07 2012
  

       [Klaatu], thanks for the link. I actually ran across that very site, BION, in my pre-bake search. I also found the little magnetic canisters full of dry retardant and bought a pair of them <link 3>. The idea of this 'bake is that it would be self- contained to keep the mess (and the fire) from going all over the kitchen, thus minimizing hours of Dysoning and scrubbing of cabinets, countertop appliances, and excitable dogs.   

       Also, Regency systems are big commercial/industrial things. It says right on the frontpage that a permit is required for installation. I'm not sure something like that could be adapted for home use, no matter how miniaturized. We want to put out a grease fire, not blow grandma across the kitchen.   

       Wait, did I just say that? I must be ill.   

       For the record, I'd like to add that The Good Fairy Jenny handled the extinguisher like a champ. The fire was out before I even got there.
Alterother, Apr 08 2012
  

       <just read this as> //Automatic-fire extinguishing cooking range and hood//   

       What about flambe though?
not_morrison_rm, Apr 10 2012
  

       I think a simpler version would be a fire blanket that drops along with a dump of CO2 and powder or foam fire extinguisher.   

       Or an accurately targeted jet...
imagin8or, Apr 10 2012
  

       fireproof-cloth airbag...smother the flames, or you could use it to amuse small children by propelling Barbie dolls into low Earth Orbit.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 10 2012
  


 

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