Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bad Memories Burglar

takes away stuff you have bad memories with
  (+19, -2)(+19, -2)
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The necklace a once future mother in law offered is a bad memory. She considers it an insult if you return it, but you don't wear it either. But you need to be a man to be so heartless to sell it.

The bad memories burglar sneaks in and takes it away. Problem solved.

Any burglar could do it, the burglar only needs to recognise what to take and what to leave behind. His ethics would be completely different from just any burglar though. He can claim to be in the business of helping people with emotional problems, rather than grabbing stuff for personal gain.

Nevertheless, the burglar is paid for with the stuff he takes away.

rrr, Jul 22 2007

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/
not stealing the stuff, but erasing the memory [rrr, Oct 01 2008]

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       //you need to be a man to be so heartless to sell it. // oh, I don't know...
po, Jul 22 2007
  

       Suggested category - culture:superhero.   

       And how exactly would a burglar be able to differentiate between the unwanted necklace and all the rest of the jewellery?
hidden truths, Jul 22 2007
  

       I can easily imagine this as a paid service.
nuclear hobo, Jul 22 2007
  

       I'd like to place a call. and bring a semi...thanks. oh no make that a moving van.
dentworth, Jul 22 2007
  

       "how exactly would a burglar be able to differentiate between the unwanted necklace and all the rest of the jewellery?"   

       I guess they used to be private investigators? I never said it would be an easy job.   

       If they do need a hint, we can here and now establish the protocol that unwanted jewelry is put in an unaddressed white envelope?
rrr, Jul 22 2007
  

       People sometimes hire killers to off their spouses, so this is sort of baked...
globaltourniquet, Jul 23 2007
  

       Can the burglar steal my memories instead? If so, then I'd no longer know anything about that necklace and could totally sell it for a sweet profit!
Noexit, Jul 23 2007
  

       This widescreen plasma telly must be responsible for an enormous amount of emotionally disturbing experiences - better take it.
Ian Tindale, Jul 23 2007
  

       Fontostic film, [rrr].
nineteenthly, Oct 01 2008
  

       The good news about this whole service is that the "loss" will be covered by your homeowners' insurance policy. So whether you are a man or a woman, with or without heart, there is still the prospect of some small remuneration after your deductible, and still the opportunity to claim a loss when you file your taxes. The opportunity for both the insurance company and IRS to sue you for fraud? Well, that's a separate risk for bad memories that this service may not be able to resolve so easily.
jurist, Oct 02 2008
  

       Surely your own ethics would be suspect by doing this?
jetgrrl, Oct 02 2008
  

       "People sometimes hire killers to off their spouses, so this is sort of baked... — globaltourniquet, Jul 22 2007"   

       You wouldn't have to go that extreme.... What about a honeytrap service. ie, you get some model to date your wife/husband/partner, then they promise to marry them. This allows an amicable divorce with the other person thinking they have got off lightly having already landed someone else. Then their new partner disappears while you get a healthy split emotionally and monetarily.   

       I imagine there ending up with some sort of infitite regression whereby the burglar feels conflicted about having to steal things which clearly are of sentimental value and so hires another bad memories burglar to steal it from him afterwards.. and so on forever
Zarathustra, Aug 04 2010
  
      
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