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Bagel Slicer

Slicer uses clever topology to remove hole
 
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One of the annoying things about bagels beside the taste is the annoying hole in the middle when it comes to applying fillings or toppings.

Now just imagine if you could slice the bagel in such a way as to remove the hole ! We'd have to do this at home mind you, otherwise bagels couldn't be transported in a packaging free way by placing bagels on one or many sky directed fingers and walking home. (As an aside, the middle finger gesture is thought to derive from someone eating all the bagels and then taunting "no bagels for you" while showing a now bagel free middle digit).

Anyway, bagels now on the countertop, we get out our bagel slicer which resembles a round waffle maker except it has blades top and bottom in a radial pattern. It's similar to an apple corer and slicer gadget except the blades come in from top and bottom and are slightly angled to give a scissor effect.

Simply bung in a bagel. Slam down the cutter. Enjoy the hole free slices.

The slicing could actually be done commercially provided each slice was rotated a small amount before insertion in a tube bag. This would involve some unnecessary packaging, but would omit the holes.

bigsleep, Jun 02 2019

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       It's only, really, the first bite that has the hole. This can be spat out if desired.
wjt, Jun 02 2019
  

       Is it not possible to design a device to slice just the hole into sections and then remove them separately, leaving the bagel itself untouched ?
8th of 7, Jun 03 2019
  

       Is there not some kind of spiral slice that could eliminate the hole yet retain full sized slices?
pocmloc, Jun 03 2019
  

       What are the dimensions of each hole-free slice and, also, how big is it in each of them?
pertinax, Jun 03 2019
  

       A bagel slicer would be useful for creating circular slivers of bagel that could be fried like onion rings.
xenzag, Jun 03 2019
  

       Alternatively, insert the entire bagel in a sort of 'pencil sharpener' slicer which rotates the bagel horizontally around the hole while a vertically mounted blade cuts off a single, long paring of bagel, such that the line along which the blade cuts forms a tight spiral pattern when the bagel is viewed from above and the resulting single slice of bagel will be bagel-thicknessed in width, and 20-50cm long.
hippo, Jun 03 2019
  

       If you rotate the knife correctly as you cut a bagel, you can make it open up into a trefoil knot. Not only is this incredibly fiddly to do, but the result is extremely fragile and uncooperative with regards to fillings. However, topologically speaking, you've created the type of mess that makes the regular hole of a bagel seem desirable.
mitxela, Jun 03 2019
  

       That's just the tip of the topological iceberg. It's all very well to remove the holes, but what do you do with them afterwards ? Dump them in the sea ? Some sort of safe disposal protocol for surplus holes needs to be devised. We suggest setting up a UN-funded research working party immediately. We are willing to send a delegate.   

       Any suggestions as to a venue ? We understand that Switzerland can be remarkably pleasant at this time of year, and of course that's very convenient for a visit to the LHC should technical consultation be required with some of your planet's top physicists and mathematicians.
8th of 7, Jun 03 2019
  

       I'm with the trefoil knot method: Once achieved, you can simply twist the two halves and you can adjust the size of the hole to your bagel needs. Care should be taken as to not accidentally cut it into two links loops of bagel-hole hell.
TheBamforth, Jun 05 2019
  

       Yes, my thoughts were mostly about expanding the bagel into a pseudopretzel shape, but perhaps the true solution is to spiral cut the bagel, and with an appropriate twist, remove the hole entirely.
mitxela, Jun 06 2019
  

       You could have a bagel grinder. The bagle fits sideways into the bággol receptacle, and is then fed towards big shiny sharp rotating teeths. The bàggle is mercilessly ripped to shreds and pulverised to tiny smitheroonies while you watch with delight through the auto-self-cleaning viewing window in the side of the device. The bâgeul crumbs are fed through a chute into a shallow cuboid chamber whose upper surface is formed from a square plate attached to a shiny brass lever with a turned mahogany handle. Pulling the lever presses the upper plate firmly down onto the crumbs, forming them into a rectangular shape similar to a slice of bread. Then the ejection lever is pulled, and the reformed bäggel, now safely hole-less, is ejected onto your plate for normal consumption.
pocmloc, Jun 06 2019
  
      
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