Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bed-side automatic condom dispenser

Makes that break between foreplay and intercourse to don protection almost obsolete
 
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This device would easily attach to your mattress, creating a flush extension of your current mattress. The apparatus promotes a greater sense of intimacy between partners, by not having to take a break from foreplay.

With an opening similar to the cup holders in inflatable furniture, this would instead hold several “ready for use” condoms. The user would insert member into opening with glow in the dark ring for easy detection, allowing a condom to be expertly fitted to the user’s unit, and pull out of the device, now with condom on.

Attaching the device to the mattress is a “C” style clamp, with the lower portion being thicker and wider, for stability, while the top portion is upholstered for appearance. Clamp adjustable for varying mattress sizes, and ambidextrous for either side of mattress. Optional cap for covering hole when unsightly condom dispenser is unwanted (mother visiting), and to protect condoms from dust, debris, unwanted substances, etc. Easy and fast instillation, and placement on bed for “hip” location of user. Also easy to remove for storage or travel.

Available in all sizes and shapes in select quantities for those individuals requiring a degree of curvature, with the pricier models being custom fit to your own personal needs. Will work with all condom varieties and available with optional lubrication dispenser. Can be found in condom section of local drug and adult stores. Refill cartridges available at only a slightly greater cost of normal condoms, but well worth it for the ease of use.

phoenix706, Feb 27 2004

Hot Rod Condoms http://www.hotrodcondoms.com/
Still the best/fastest I've found. <thumbs up> [Letsbuildafort, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Whoa. Bun.
MuddyBuddy, Feb 28 2004
  

       //The user would insert member into opening//   

       This would work for those lonely nights alone too?   

       Welcome to the HB [phoenix706]. This gets a bun from me.
Klaatu, Feb 28 2004
  

       Can I order one? I think that the condoms would be ready and the device would hold them open until you've been inserted. A glance down and a dip of the hip would be less interruptive than getting up and going to the dresser or fumbling with a wrapper. Way to plan a head. BZ
krod, Feb 28 2004
  

       Sorry. I can't help but feel this is a bit grim. It's not *that* much of a distraction - and anyway, there's something to be said for making sure your partner is wearing a condom.
hazel, Feb 28 2004
  

       Thanks Klaatu
phoenix706, Mar 01 2004
  

       And the dispenser has a hidden counter...
FloridaManatee, Mar 01 2004
  

       DeLuxe model comes in with different-flavours option and a switch placed on the other side of the bed, in order to make the choice..
sweet, Mar 01 2004
  

       The Gack in the Hat?
lostdog, Mar 01 2004
  

       The title of this post reminds me of an idea my high school calculus teacher told me her friend made a pretty penny from in college: buy an empty gumball dispenser (the kind you see in kiddy restaurants where you put 25c in the slot, turn the handle and get a gumball or whatever), fill it with condoms, and stick it (no pun intended) outside the "party dorm" on Friday night.
disbomber, Apr 09 2005
  

       Nice link [fort] Gosh there are some imaginitive chaps out there.
hazel, Apr 14 2005
  
      
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