Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bed Buddy

Provides the bedridden with the illusion of a toilet cubicle.
 
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A friend of mine has recently dislocated his hip and as a result has learned of the terrible constipation that can vex the bedridden patient. From the age of three or four humans are taught that fouling the bed is simply unacceptable behaviour, worse than licking knives, and the conditioning that results is very strong. This conditioning prevents bedridden patients from enjoying regular bowel movements or, in my friend's case, any sort of movement whatsoever.

The Bed Buddy addresses the psychological inhibitions of the patient and, in allowing the patient to enjoy normal bowel movements despite their condition, relieves the patient of stress and the nurses/doctors of the need to work out what to do about it. This frees time and resources for other, more needy patients.

The Bed Buddy is an advanced screen that protects the patient from the eyes of passers-by and gives the impression of being sat on the toilet. Bedpans are supplied separately.

The Bed Buddy is easy to install as the square framework is made of aluminium and the material covering the frame is lightweight yet heavily patterned. 'Why not simply pull closed the curtains that hang around the bed?' I hear you ask. The reason these curtains do not do the trick is because although they provide privacy they do nothing to alleviate the stress of having a poo in bed - drawing the curtains doesn't make you think you are sitting on the toilet. The Bed Buddy creates this illusion through the patterning of the interior of the screen and through smells that come from a small plastic container attached to the frame. The material can be patterned in a variety of styles; from trendy small blue tiles for upmarket clinics to larger pastel tiles for the public hospitals. Once happy with the 'walls' of your toilet you can choose your own olfactory environment by pouring a small quantity of your preferred cleaning product into the plastic container. The illusion is complete!

Ludwig, Dec 20 2002

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       I think inactivity is a contributary factor but I do not believe it is as inhibiting as the psychological conditioning. Many people in the western world lead sedentary lives without being unduly constipated and we all sit to defecate after all.
Ludwig, Dec 20 2002
  

       "I just can't sleep well in this hospital bed!"
"Crappy mattress?"
"You don't know the half of it!"
Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 20 2002
  

       darn....thought from the title this was going to be something else....<sigh>.....back to sleeping with the dogs.....
Marassa, Dec 20 2002
  
      
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