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Blatantly Idiotic Predictions For 2007

More stuff that's bound to happen. Maybe.
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We the assembled, having proved our uncanny ability to predict world events and trends, offer the world our predictions of events and trends for 2007. All free of charge, for nothing, cheap at half the price, and you're welcome. Michael Jackson is the new black. I for one welcome our new snowclone overlords.
Ian Tindale, Dec 22 2006

Bark at the meow'n. http://www.dailymai...816&in_page_id=1770
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 22 2006]

2006 in Review http://www.jibjab.com/nuckin_futs
A natty, nutty musical round-up of 2006 [imaginality, Dec 25 2006]

[link]






       Osama Bin Laden will dye his beard white and appear in pantomime as Osanta Bin Laden. Global warming will increase, so will global cooling, global darkening and global deafening. Energy and electricity costs of running huge high-availability data centres will be factored into providing all these 'free' web services and facilities we're all used to, and from 2007, all laptops and desktop computers will feature a small coin-slot on the side.
Ian Tindale, Dec 22 2006
  

       Britain will have 3 Prime Ministers in 2007 - Blair will handover to Brown, who will call a snap general election in October. A third individual will win.
jonthegeologist, Dec 22 2006
  

       UnaBubba will come back to the hb.
xandram, Dec 22 2006
  

       [transparent attempt to return to original topic]: Electronic Venetian Blinds the world over will become infected by a virus that causes them to close and open when nobody is using them. This will lead to mass hysteria, a huge upswing in the belief in ghosts and the paranormal, and more frequent group suicides by Nike-wearing cults. [/tatrtot]   

       EDIT: hee hee - "tater tot."
shapu, Dec 22 2006
  

       I predict that po will be elected Queen of Australia, Unabubba will morph into jutta, and that jutta will call this a "list", and Ian will be so traumatized that he decides to become a transvestite.
blissmiss, Dec 22 2006
  

       That's pretty damn traumatised.
Ian Tindale, Dec 22 2006
  

       Ian's not a transvestite already?   

       < Canuck waits for the mists to part within the HD LCD TV that has replaced his crystal ball>   

       blissmiss and po will find their true calling and become internet divas.   

       UnaBubba will seek to publish a book of his ramblings on the halfbakery and invite jutta to edit the manuscript for him.   

       Ian Tindale will accuse Canuck of being amorphous whilst wearing a pair of wool gabarine pants, a cardigan, and a sleek little camisole his father gave him for Christmas.   

       [sorry, Ian, you were just a handy target!]   

       The autoboner will reveal his/her elf at a halfcon to be held in some location yet to be determined at some time to be agreed upon, but only after changing it six or seven times because some people don't understand the concept and feel the world should revolve around them. Jutta will [mfd] this as a rant.
Canuck, Dec 22 2006
  

       Jutta will approve of this idea and heartily endorse it.
normzone, Dec 22 2006
  

       [NotTheSharpestSpoon]'s twins will be born in February. After joining forces with [crash] in June they form a triumvirate that takes control of the halfbakery by late November.   

       Unprecedented demand forces airlines to increase flight numbers to New Zealand following the announcement of a halfcon in Christchurch (hint, hint).   

       Long live Queen [po]!
methinksnot, Dec 22 2006
  

       I'll scrap with Camilla in the mud for Charles and the crown.   

       I said *mud*   

       snotty will become my Rock.
po, Dec 22 2006
  

       The Bakery site will become "self aware" just as the computer network did in the Terminator. Every mad invention on the entire site will start to be realised, as the complete resources of the whole planet are given over to Bakery creation.   

       At the last minute Jutta will break out of her enforced captivity and kill the net- work with the dreaded Auto-Fishbone virus. Far fetched ? You just watch - you'll see.
xenzag, Dec 22 2006
  

       I think we did that one in 04.
po, Dec 22 2006
  

       I was/am right then - it's the future work of a deleted time machine idea, sent back to 2004 by the Bakery.
xenzag, Dec 22 2006
  

       Dick Cheney will announce his resignation, move to Israel, and get elected Prime Minister. Years later it is discovered that he is the AntiChrist when he is no longer able to conceal the horns growing out of his skull.
  

       The halfbakery is announced as Time's 2007 Person of the Year.
Zimmy, Dec 22 2006
  

       Ian Tindale will become less sarcastic.   

       21Quest will find a good use for D.U.   

       Phlish wil be let out of his cage only to find the power of snot in his hands.   

       Xenzag will change his name to Susan and post ideas that are not earth friendly or thoughtful.   

       Vernon's identity will be destroyed as we find out the truth about area 51 and how he crashed his UFO.   

       Unabubba will come back with a pair of specticles that resemble Clark Kents and will go by the name AbbuBanu.   

       Chefboyrbored will finaly come into his own and become a succesful member of the HB, respected and adored.   

       The HB Brain will autobun.   

       This anno won't be deleted.
Chefboyrbored, Dec 22 2006
  

       A virus on the halfbakery will give every idea an extra positive vote. Everyone will be more cheery because of this.
hidden truths, Dec 22 2006
  

       //Everyone will be more cheery because of this//   

       I do that with my checkbook - give myself five extra dollars here and there to make myself feel better. It always lasts until the bank calls.
shapu, Dec 22 2006
  

       I predict that po will be elected Queen of Connecticut, Unabubba will morph into ben frost, and that jutta will call this a "test", and Ian will be so traumatized that he decides to become a hermaphrodite, (not to be confused with an afroassault), and then suddenly goes into Hellena Handbasket ;-)   

       If you are quoting yourself do you do "s" or snot?
blissmiss, Dec 23 2006
  

       Snot works for me.   

       Long live Queen [po]. Ruler of "Connecticut" and Australia.
methinksnot, Dec 23 2006
  

       I always suspected she was "bi".
blissmiss, Dec 23 2006
  

       It will turn out that one of the bakers is actually an extremely rich owner of many custard factories and has finally tired of all the half-bakers saying they are going to meet in a worldwide halfcon and never do. This benevolent person will then pay for every baker and their family members' tickets to the first worldwide halfcon to take place in Italy at one of the many villas that they own.   

       Late at night on the third day, the gathered bakers will inadvertently solve the world's continuing problem of everything only to forget the solution when [NotTheSharpestSpoon] arrives to present his twin boys and everyone is stunned because of the sheer beauty and perfection of everything human that the twins represent. Every baker's life will forevermore be changed for the better for having witness the greatness that are my, I mean, the boys.   

       In my humble, unbiased opinion, of course.   

       Oh, and everyone will come to the conclusion that custard just doesn't taste that great at which point the custard factory owner will disappear in shame and live out the rest of their life in the bakery section at the Safeway in Palo Alto, CA, USA.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Dec 24 2006
  

       G0ING OUT ON A LIMB HERE...   

       I THINK THERE WILL BE A 2007 LIS.ssstt st t RIGHT BEFORE jutta makes it alllllllllllllll be gon.e.....
blissmiss, Dec 24 2006
  

       OK, was that the last of the Cooking Sherry? Good. This time I hope we have successfully hidden ALL the rest of the liquour.   

       Black coffee! Stat!
Canuck, Dec 24 2006
  

       Iran will announce that they will continue to enrich uranium but 'just for fun, really - we like seeing how much it winds you guys up'.   

       Unprecedented public outrage causes Bush to resign in humiliation after White House computer logs obtained by investigative journalists prove that he is the Autoboner.   

       Global warming predictions become slightly less scary after it's discovered in August that some of the icebergs previously thought to have melted in the polar regions were in fact towed to exclusive resorts and used for upside-down underwater mountain-climbing.   

       Concern over China's human rights record prompts the International Olympic Committee to declare in April that they are moving the 2008 Olympics to Christchurch, New Zealand, stating, "We have no doubt that Christchurch can host our event, after it held such a successful HB halfcon."   

       The debate about the future of the British monarchy is reignited in 2007, when a tabloid sting operation catches the Queen logging into erotic chatrooms under the moniker 'LeggyLizzie'.   

       The winter solstice brings apocalyptic chaos, as the Mayan 5th Sun cycle ends. This is all the more shocking because it was previously predicted for 2012, but the original stone tablet on which the calculations were based turns out to contain a typo.   

       [xenzag] wins the Turner prize after his artwork ideas on the HB are applauded as 'conceptual art in its purest form'.   

       And finally, after the fifth Ashes test in January turns into a fiasco when the coin used to decide the toss falls into a crack on the pitch, all major sports switch from flipping coins at the start of games to playing rock-paper-scissors.
imaginality, Dec 24 2006
  

       Excellent work by [imaginality] and [Lt_Frank]!
(No, that's not an idiotic prediction, it's a... Oh, never mind).
pertinax, Dec 25 2006
  

       Time travel will be discovered. Unfortunately, this will turn out to be not quite how people expected it to manifest itself. Going forward in time involves progressing through the intermediate time at the normal rate, as per normal - nothing impressive there, and a bit pointless as everyone else who isn't time travelling simply goes along with you at the same speed. Going back in time involves appearing in a previous time frame, but due to resonant phase differences, your clothes make it back to slightly different target times, depending on their colour, size, price and perhaps even material. Going forward again simply means you might get the opportunity to pick up some of your clothes as you progress at the normal rate.
Ian Tindale, Jan 01 2007
  

       There will be a mountain of television aerials somewhere in the UK.   

       These will be used to make a space finger.
skinflaps, Jan 03 2007
  

       Jan 03 2008... I told you not to blink
xenzag, Jan 03 2007
  

       // Prediction: In the future this annotation will be edited to make it seem as if an accurate prediction had been made. Muhahaha. - rcarty, Jan 03 2007 //   

       This annotation, on the other hand...
spiritualized, Mar 08 2007
  

       I predict that self-referential annotations will be made retrospectively.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 08 2007
  

       Somebody will invent a device to enable palindromic annotations, and they will call it the "eht ti llac lliw yeht dna, snoitatonna cimordnilap elbane ot ecived a tnevni lliw ydobemos".
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 09 2007
  

       come back thumbwax!
po, Mar 09 2007
  

       'ydobemoS :ps' :ps
imaginality, Mar 10 2007
  

       Franks, Lt. Thank. But I believe that palindromes are not normally expected to have the same capitalization (as in "Madam, I'm Adam").
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 10 2007
  

       I contest that those are true palindromes. In other words, those are as much palindromes as the majority of annotations on this page are demonstrations of our creativity and innovative skills to estimate futurology.
Ian Tindale, Mar 10 2007
  

       Que? According to Wikipedia, "A palindrome is a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that has the property of reading the same in either direction (the adjustment of punctuation and spaces between words is generally permitted)."
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 10 2007
  

       pats self on back at prediction...
jonthegeologist, May 10 2007
  

       Not there quite yet, [jon].
Jinbish, May 10 2007
  

       Now that Christmas is bearing down upon us like a gnu on skis, we can surely make some solid predictions about 2008, no?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 02 2008
  

       {taking cover in well-sandbagged gnu emplacement}
pertinax, Dec 03 2008
  

       My prediction came true!!   

       UnaBubba will come back to the hb. — xandram, Dec 22 2006
xandram, Dec 03 2008
  

       //My prediction came true!!//
Burn the witch!
coprocephalous, Dec 03 2008
  

       I'm disappointed by the lack of cultish suicides.
shapu, Dec 03 2008
  

       Cheer up, at least there's been a good crop of cultsh murders ....   

       Final Blatantly Idiotic Prediction for 2008: Sometime in December, [IanT] will post "Blatantly Idiotic Predictions for 2009"
8th of 7, Dec 04 2008
  
      
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