Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Blatantly Idiotic Predictions for 2015

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Forward planning.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 19 2013

Where is the fish? https://www.youtube...watch?v=e-_rEqBaEE8
[4and20, Dec 09 2014]

Cubbies take over the earth. http://www.dailymai...7-year-drought.html
[4and20, Oct 11 2015]

[link]






       [8th] will spend another year kicking himself.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 19 2013
  

       This is reminiscent of Stephen Hawking inviting time travelers from the future to show up to his party.
theircompetitor, Dec 19 2013
  

       In December, [MaxwellBuchanan] will receive an item of mail.   

       On opening, it will be found to contain a Christmas card from the Borg Collective, containing the message "Thinking Of You" on the cover.   

       The explosion which occurs five seconds later will result in a crater six hectares in area, and level every structure within three kilometres of the hypocentre.   

       The only artifact to survive the blast is the back page of a a Christmas card (made from Unobtainium, cunningly modified to look like cardboard) on which is inscribed the message, "You think you're funny, but you're not".
8th of 7, Dec 19 2013
  

       I will advise my card-opening staff accordingly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 19 2013
  

       I suggest putting that envelope onto a A4 piece of paper with glue on it, fold it up into an envelope and post it to the return address.   

       Upon delivrery, the opening of said paper will almost certainly open the envelope within.   

       Having typed that, I discover I don't like the word envelope. It is stupid.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 19 2013
  

       Oh dear. We had it in mind to use it to extend the north-east boating lake.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 19 2013
  

       Well, you probably won`t wipe them all out in one go, so I suggest alternating.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 20 2013
  

       [8th] will be visited by three ghosts and spend the last few days of the year trying to make others happy through various acts of charity and goodwill instead of exorcising them with the expedience of the sacrifice of three politicians and a goat. He will also adopt a child and a kitten and give one of them his utmost adoration and care.
Voice, Dec 21 2013
  

       ...by feeding it with the other.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 21 2013
  

       The Rapture will happen, and there will be mass hysteria until it is realized that it was just a man trying to fly a kite in a helicopter flight-path.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 01 2014
  

       Someone will post a "Blatantly Idiotic Predictions for 2016" idea.
Wrongfellow, Jan 01 2014
  

       * Just a reminder for [MB] to check his mail.
xandram, Dec 04 2014
  

       "the market" will become immortal, like a zombie, and will rule every country, while the people will roam about, as if one chair short of a titanic
4and20, Dec 04 2014
  

       //* Just a reminder for [MB] to check his mail.//   

       Hmmm. Nothing yet - just the usual social chit- chat(or "invoices" as they endearingly call them) from tradesmen and purveyors. Oh, and a postcard from Sturton and the intercalary, who have apparently rendezvoused in the Turks and Caicos Islands for the eclipse. Sturton asked me to tell [8th] that he greatly appreciated the set of engraved artichoke spoons, but unfortunately neither of the pangolins arrived intact - he advises him to take the matter up with Fedex.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 04 2014
  

       People will focus on what has already happened rather than working towards the future.
rcarty, Dec 04 2014
  

       A new type of croissant will be discovered, made from philae pastry. Yeasted, and freshly baked, so that customers of the patisserie waited while it rose, ate a few, and waited for the bill to come. It's 67p, or three for £2.
pocmloc, Dec 04 2014
  

       Funny, my step-sister just got married down there at the T and C Islands. I wonder if she caused the eclipse as she is quite large...
RayfordSteele, Dec 04 2014
  

       Actual living tribe of Sasquatch encountered in BC Canada in August 2015. By November of that same year courts confer the status of personhood on the species resulting in the Worlds' largest land preserve ever established stretching from New Mexico to Alaska.   

       wait... wait, that might be a different reality, I think it's this one though.   

       //8th] will spend another year kicking himself.   

       As part of a Borg group, if he kicks another member, surely he is kicking himself as well...I'm not even going to think about the more....sensual side of that..
not_morrison_rm, Dec 04 2014
  

       The World will come to an end. (again)
doctorremulac3, Dec 04 2014
  

       // I'm not even going to think about the more....sensual side of that. //   

       Don't bother ... it's not half so much fun as you think.   

       // Sturton asked me to tell [8th] that he greatly appreciated the set of engraved artichoke spoons, //   

       We are glad he liked them. The trick is of course to freeze the artichokes with liquid nitrogen before starting the engraving.   

       // but unfortunately neither of the pangolins arrived intact - he advises him to take the matter up with Fedex. //   

       Oh no, not again ...
8th of 7, Dec 05 2014
  

       More bubble wrap, I tole him I did..none of them old chip wrappers.   

       Someone in London gave me an online 'job interview' asking me if I smoke crack and some other questions not exactly family viewing. I of course told the truth and so I didn't get the job. I
not_morrison_rm, Dec 05 2014
  

       Headlines and Footnotes will become wearable items.
xandram, Dec 05 2014
  

       Smoking crack will be a compulsory qualification for all new hires.   

       Margins will be narrower, except in some places, where they will be wider. However, margins which are neither wider nor narrower will stay the same. This will be ruthlessly enforced.   

       The European Union budget will be reformed to bring it more in line with the fiscal and monetary policies of the USA.   

       The world economy will collapse (again).
8th of 7, Dec 05 2014
  

       [MaxwellBuchanan] will squat the Blatantly Idiotic Predictions idea through 2031, thus denying the franchise to other well meaning futurists
theircompetitor, Dec 05 2014
  

       // Atheists are blamed, and burnt. //   

       Alarmist and sensational reports appear in mass media, blaming a sudden increase in global temperatures on the fashion for burning atheists. Greenpeace demand that all atheists are compressed and stored in disused coal mines rather than burning them.   

       Richard Dawkins spontaneously combusts.   

       The polar ice caps immediately melt.
8th of 7, Dec 05 2014
  

       [8th] will predict that I will try to get one up on the Borg Collective by posting "Blatantly Idiotic Predictions for 2016" before the end of 2014, thus becoming an object of ridicule and derision.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 06 2014
  

       I predict that no one will take any notice of my "Matched pair of crystal balls 3D glasses" idea.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 06 2014
  

       [MaxwellBuchanan] will try to get one up on the Borg Collective by posting "Blatantly Idiotic Predictions for 2016" before the end of 2014, thus becoming an object of ridicule and derision.   

       [rcarty] will post something coherent and comprehensible.
8th of 7, Dec 07 2014
  

       So [8th]'s prediction has already come true. Sheer genius I tell you!
xandram, Dec 09 2014
  

       I knew it would come true.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 09 2014
  

       Abe Vigoda will die for the third time, and this time actually be dead. Late night comedians won't know how to make a decent joke of it.
RayfordSteele, Dec 09 2014
  

       A prediction so esoteric it encompasses alternative universes will come back to haunt this universe.
4and20, Dec 09 2014
  

       In a court in the Hague, Donald Rumsfeld, George Bush & Tony Blair will argue that they did not contravene Article 5 of the UN Declaration on Human Rights because they authorized the torture of lots of people rather than any one individual.
DrBob, Dec 12 2014
  

       Just saw that we are 10 days away from the Future in Back to the Future II. It appears they got the Cubs and possibly, the general dystopia right [link].
4and20, Oct 11 2015
  

       Regarding that link, I predict the return of phone boxes being used enough again to make them worthwhile having almost as much as we used to have, within the next decade.
Ian Tindale, Oct 11 2015
  

       The Queen will abdicate, Charles' first act will be the systematic destruction of all things Doctor Who.
miggavin, Dec 01 2015
  
      
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