Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Blended Pet Mix

For those who can't decide
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The basic mix is 25% dog, whipped to a froth, 25% cat, diced, 20% parakeet, minced, and the remaining 30% lizard and fish sauce (both freshwater and salt). The pet amounts can be layered or fully blended to create a product that will satisfy any personality. Additional pets can be added for various surcharges. For instance, a dollop of seahorse with Bengal tiger would probably only amount to %2 of the total pet mass but could bring a luxurious flavor to the more discriminating pet owner. There is no reason, in the modern world, with modern resources, to commit to a specific brand of pet, especially one that demands care. All blended pets are 100% preserved in an acrylic block and are guaranteed for life. Paperweight sizes available as well, which allow you to bring your pet to any workplace.
mylodon, Oct 15 2007

Contrast: Pet Poltergeist Pet Poltergeist
[zen_tom, Oct 17 2007]

Composting Livestock Mortalities http://www.oardc.oh...fabe/composting.htm
[Ander, Oct 18 2007]

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       recipe/flavour - see Meta, then help file, then do the right thing.
ps welcome [mylodon] if you are "new".
xenzag, Oct 15 2007
  

       But [xenzag], surely it would only be a recipe if someone were planning to eat it. The fifty-year guarantee suggests otherwise.
pertinax, Oct 15 2007
  

       This is not a recipe or a flavor! This is a genuine mixed and blended pet. You can't get these with GE or hybridization because physically it is impossible to mix the genes -- unless you use a blender.   

       Put it in a nice, lexan cylinder, and you will have a pet that persists through decades.
mylodon, Oct 16 2007
  

       gross out humor that isn't funny.
dentworth, Oct 16 2007
  

       yawn
skinflaps, Oct 16 2007
  

       This is not a good idea.   

       I agree with [dent]
evilpenguin, Oct 16 2007
  

       I read this as a satire of the disrespectful way people deal with their pets now, with a bit of "pet rock" thrown in. ("If you're so obsessed with the race of your pet that it becomes the main thing you're interested in, you might as well just keep a mix in salt brine.") It doesn't quite work (as per the audience reaction), but it's not gross-out humor, cruel, or a recipe.
jutta, Oct 16 2007
  

       Yes it is gross. Yes, it may read as satire. But the real problem is with the idea. We are all made of pretty much the same ingredients. Some sugars, some protiens, some amino acids, some lipids, a lot of water.   

       If you want layered pet mix, over time this will settle with complex proteins on the bottom, miscible sugars dissolved in the brine and lipids at the top (completely ignoring reactions between ingredients). If you want blended, layers will similarly seperate out, it is a lose-lose situation. Knowlege of lexan and not specific gravity, I smell a rat!
4whom, Oct 16 2007
  

       grind pets and pour (formerly salt water) acrylic over them.
k_sra, Oct 16 2007
  

       Gives new meaning to 'Meow Mix.'   

       Which raises another question: what would I feed it?
RayfordSteele, Oct 16 2007
  

       Whoops. There's no reason to use salt specifically. I was just thinking of it because I was eating bacon at the time. I've changed it to acrylic, which should work better.
mylodon, Oct 16 2007
  

       I've seen similarly bad ideas that managed to get a much better reaction - and I don't really see how this is any different from many of them, with the exception that it's not cute or sentimental, is written using actual words (arranged into sentences) and it doesn't reference well rehearsed bakery memes.   

       Meh for the idea in this instance, but welcome to [mylodon] - I'm a fan of sloths, giant (subversive) ones doubly so. I'm impressed with how well you've taken the criticism and in my mind, I'm personally [+]ing you for that.   

       I also quite enjoyed the concept of "dog froth" but in this instance, I'm sure I'm in a distinct minority!   

       In the meantime, console yourself with the thought that while vitrified "pet pâté" was always going to be a particularly difficult concept to sell here, it really, really could have been so much worse.
zen_tom, Oct 16 2007
  

       //a tin of catfood into a clear jar//   

       Gives me a idea with Christmas coming 'n' all.
skinflaps, Oct 17 2007
  

       "...if someone suggested transferring the contents of a tin of catfood into a clear jar and keeping it on a shelf as a pet we'd think they were weird, but likely not cruel." In other words, nobody cares about a salmon, but people care greatly about a cat or dog. In your mind it should be just as wrong to kill animals that no one cares about. Would you apply this thinking to baby humans? edit: I mean unborn humans. Sorry to be controversial, just thinking outloud.
dentworth, Oct 17 2007
  

       It's a difficult moral question - there exist all sorts of scientific glass-jar specimens of baby humans who died due to congenital defects which, while creepy and distressing to look at, aren't considered necessarily immoral (selling such specimens for private consumption might be over-stepping the mark though)   

       Re cats and dogs, there are areas of the world where these are considered fair game in terms of human consumption. Rabbits are considered as food in many cultures, yet (paradoxically) also cross the food/pet divide in those same cultures.   

       Personally, I'd prefer not to eat things that I've made friends with – but I'm not sure that's 100% solid ground for an ethical stance either.   

       I think one thing that might be a good starting point for forming an ethical opinion is having respect for all things, not killing (or blending) them needlessly, or at least not without reasonable cause. i.e. If you are going to kill something for a reason, make sure the reason is justifiable. It's again, not ideal (e.g. how do you reconcile/define 'reasonable cause', or 'justifiable' in terms of a tasty ham-sandwich?)
zen_tom, Oct 17 2007
  


 

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