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Blow Up The Atmosphere
Then let it out again...
  (+4, -7)
(+4, -7) 		  [vote for,
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Using a high quality air filter, blow up balloons until almost all of the (now filtered) atmosphere is in the balloons.

Then run around with a sharp object, popping them.

This will require building an ark.

UnaBubba, Oct 11 2002

Gasping http://www.michael....dy/Elton/books.html
Very funny, and yet somehow strangely not. [8th of 7, Oct 11 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


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       big bangs?
po, Oct 11 2002
   

       The only type worth having.
UnaBubba, Oct 11 2002
   

       And what do we breathe in the meantime?
egbert, Oct 11 2002
   

       Pretty much Baked, by Ben Elton, in his hilarious black comedy "Gasping". Scheming businessman sells machines that suck up the entire atmosphere, starts selling "Designer Air". It doesn't end well.
8th of 7, Oct 11 2002
   

       //And what do we breathe in the meantime?//   

       What do you mean, "we" ?   

       [8/7], I must read it.
UnaBubba, Oct 11 2002
   

       I guess one would have to pop them with pin-point accuracy.
FarmerJohn, Oct 11 2002
   

       What to do with the dirty filters though?
phoenix, Oct 11 2002
   

       Make them into balloons.   

       Then, come the cleanup, turn the balloons into synthetic glass sculptures of surpassing beauty... a tribute to the cleaning of Earth.
UnaBubba, Oct 11 2002
   

       What is filtered out? Where does the residue after filtration go...into a 'dirty' balloon? If the sky is full of balloons, where can I fly a kite?
Jinbish, Oct 11 2002
   

       Go fly a kite.
UnaBubba, Oct 11 2002
   

       Dark helmet, engage mega maid.   

       I'd suggest tying the balloon string securely around the kid's wrist. Otherwise, he's gonna lose it.
Amos Kito, Oct 11 2002
   

       So...
as we suck up most of our atmosphere in order to blow it into the balloons we leave little or no atmosphere left floating about to filter the sun's UV rays...?
So...
We end up with, what, 100X more UV rays and such frying the balloon envelopes to a perfect pork rind texture...?
So...
That would mean some balloon envelopes would never see the light of day. A sad waste. Perhaps the few that do become unstable due to heat buildup inside from excessive solar radiation creating convection currents AND severe static buildup...?
Oh... so...
I see it now. Every cat on the planet will be sucked to one of these balloons and then BOOM !
Cat hair everywhere...
hollajam, Oct 11 2002
   

       Yep. Catastrophic consequences.
UnaBubba, Oct 12 2002
   

       8th has gone very, very quiet on this topic all of a sudden...
PeterSilly, Oct 12 2002
   

       its way out of his expertise.
po, Oct 12 2002
   

       You are a bunch of dicks. RIP SPARKY you will live in my heart 4ever
scotty2, Nov 05 2002
   

       From a rubber factory, silly.   

       Actually, producing the rubber might make more pollution than you can clean up. And rubber's not exactly biodegradeable, either, so what to do with it afterwards? And what's this got to do with Sparky?
egbert, Nov 05 2002
   

       I may be wrong but sparky's death may be linked to scotty's failed attempt to bake this idea.   

       You guys and gals arent dicks, i kinda like ya.
MrKangaroo, Nov 07 2002
   


 
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