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Bread kneader

Better than a spinning hook.
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I make sourdough bread. Not packaged yeast that you allow to cultivate kind of like sourdough, I mean real sourdough bread. When mixed up into dough, it is quite thick, elastic, almost tough. A standard Kitchen Aid mixer started smelling burnt when I tried to get it to knead the dough with a dough hook, even on lowest speed.

Enter the Better Bread Beater. Instead of a spinning dough hook, which is not very effective or energy efficient anyway, the BBB is a box with walls that move relative to each other and the bottom. If the walls are labeled A, B, C and D going clockwise around the BBB, A and C would move in as B and D move out, and vice versa. It's the same action and force I apply to the bread when I'm kneading it manually.

This should be offered in different sizes, as I usually make 14 to 16 loaves at a time, but if the BBB is big enough to handle that the walls wouldn't even touch a standard 3 loaf batch.

Psalm_97, Feb 06 2012

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       And you were right bigsleep. Now that I'm here, I seem to be a product idea machine. :-/ Maybe I should apply to Ronco for a job.
Psalm_97, Feb 06 2012
  

       (+) It feels like I'm kneading this.   

       How about forcing the dough repeatedly through a nozzle? Would that not provide the necessary stretch?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 06 2012
  

       It would, but the chambers on both sides of the nozzle would have to be cleaned. Have you ever tried cleaning just a simple bowl that has held sourdough? Bleh. The chamber with moving sides is about as complex as I want to clean up afterward.
Psalm_97, Feb 06 2012
  

       And here I used to like bigsleep... That joke alone overloaded the corn meter.
Psalm_97, Feb 06 2012
  

       Perhaps you should obtain a professional version of the KitchenAid mixer. It happens that the KitchenAid brand is owned by a company named "Hobart", and Hobart does make much more powerful mixers, for commercial kitchens. With a "Hobart" label on them, although they look just like KitchenAid mixers, just a lot bigger.
Vernon, Feb 07 2012
  

       something peristalsis based...
FlyingToaster, Feb 07 2012
  

       Yes - a large animatronic worm, which will consume flour, yeast, salt and water in one end and, after a bit of peristaltic action, excrete beautifully kneaded dough from ther other.
hippo, Feb 07 2012
  

       add iron filings, and some impressive electromagnets
not_morrison_rm, Feb 08 2012
  

       If, instead of iron filings, you used larger particles -- say, 1 cm diameter, coated in ceramic or something, that might actually be practical.   

       You'd knead some way of recovering the particles before baking, of course.
mouseposture, Feb 08 2012
  

       // //How about forcing the dough repeatedly through a nozzle?//
It would, but the chambers on both sides of the nozzle would have to be cleaned. Have you ever tried cleaning just a simple bowl that has held sourdough? Bleh. The chamber with moving sides is about as complex as I want to clean up afterward.//
  

       Hmm. If you extruded sourdough as a continuous process, you wouldn't have to clean the nozzle. At least, not very often.   

       I imagine that the moving-wall chamber would itself be _quite hard_ to clean. BUT - you could put the batch in a large disposable bag, then it wouldn't need cleaning either.
Loris, Feb 08 2012
  

       This gets better and better all the time.   

       Maybe put it in the disposable bag and put the bag in the dryer on low or no heat? Klunk, klunk, klunk... but what if the bag ripped?
Psalm_97, Feb 08 2012
  

       "No you can't lick the bread bowel clean... gross."   

       //unless the Scots have a recipe for deep-fried breaded kitchen.// Actually we don't even have a native word for "kitchen".
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2012
  

       McDonalds?
AusCan531, Feb 08 2012
  

       I think u need a silicone bag, with then u could have pneumatic or mechanical fists pummel away
senatorjam, Feb 09 2012
  

       Precisely.
Psalm_97, Feb 09 2012
  

       I am thinking the problem is too much resistance. Swap out that dough hook for a sharpened blade combat pirate hook. It will cut as it kneads.   

       My other scheme is to incubate the dough with papain or something of the sort. That tenacious viscosity is from gluten, a protein. Proteases should break it down and provide a gently yielding and tractable loaf.
bungston, Feb 09 2012
  

       //gently yielding and tractable loaf.//   

       What are you giving that thing, rohypnol? :-P   

       Sorry, couldn't pass it up...
Psalm_97, Feb 09 2012
  

       Blades and proteases are counterproductive. The purpose of kneading is to increase the springy resilience imparted by the gluten, not to defeat it.   

       //Rohypnol// I'm glad the joke was made; I'm also glad it wasn't made by me.
spidermother, Feb 09 2012
  
      
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