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Roland beamed broadly, pushing open the door as he welcomed the first customers to Cafe Alopecia.
This rare and unusual condition, Alopecia universalis: is characterised by the absence of all of the hair, not only on the scalp, but also on the entire body. Affected individuals are born without eyebrows
and eyelashes and never develop axillary or pubic hair. There are hair follicles but they are devoid of hair. The disorder is inherited as an autosomal recessive trait. It is caused by a mutation in a gene dubbed HR in chromosome band 8p21.2 that is the human homolog of the mouse "hairless" gene -- the human version of the gene in the mouse that is responsible for hairless mice.
When Roland first heard of it he realised the potential for a chain of restaurants where you could guarantee no patron would receive a meal with a hair in it.
Selecting staff from only the pool of people with the condition was an absolute boon. Some people are scared when they meet someone with Alopecia universalis, because they look strange. Now it was becoming cool, in the hospitality industry, to be bald from top to toe.
[link]
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Can alopecia also be triggered by extreme and prolonged stress? |
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Employee medical benefits cover everything but Rogaine. |
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Waiting for the er..hair in my soup gag. |
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"Waiter, there's a toupee on my pate." "Your bald pate, Sir?" "No, my pate dee fwahgrah." |
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So that's how to pronounce it!
I've tried frwoarrghh gragghh, fraghh grah, patay de <vauge hand gesture> and a number of other combinations, but always feel like I could have done better. |
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At least you never tried foys groys.
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[UB] how common is alopecia? I think it would be hard to get enough people with that problem all together to perform all the necessary tasks . . . |
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Might want to try the fly-in-the-soup approach, [skin]. |
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I knew 2 people in high school with alopecia, one male (born with it) and one female (she lost all the hair on her body when she was 16). The guy never bothered to hide his baldness (which was okay because he was very good-looking anyway). |
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If this also happened to be a French restaurant, but with a penchant for pastiche, in particular, characteristic Italian pies, then you could call it "A la pizza". |
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To stem the inevitable flow of cafe <notionally humorous medical condition> ideas:
Cafe Dermatitis
Casa Tourettes
The Polio Lounge
TB I Fridays
Scrofulottis
Bog Eye Burger &c. |
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Customers might misunderstand the name and expect Frog A La Peche on the menu. |
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