Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Call Me -Alx

With apologies to Paul Simon
  (+21, -1)(+21, -1)(+21, -1)
(+21, -1)
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A man looks down the page
Says 'my idea's unbaked in the middle now
Why is it unbaked in the middle?
The rest of my buns are so charred.
I need a poem-opportunity,
I want a shot at pedantry,
Don't want to end up a fishbone
In a fishbone graveyard.'
Bone-giver Bone-giver
Dog_Ed in the moonlight
Far away from my 'Good Luck' Door
Mr. PeterSealy PeterSealy
Get rmutt away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

If you'll be my GTR
I can be your rbl
I can call you Matty,
And Matty when you call me
You can call me -alx

A man looks down the page
He says 'why am I short of annotations?
Got a short little set of annotations
And wo my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family
What if I die here
Who'll be my troll-baiter
Now that my troll-baiter is
Gone gone?'
He ducked back into the search engine
With some rolly-trolly little kat-faced girl
All along along
There were images and abstractions
There were links and annotations

If you be my reensure,
I can be your lewisgirl
I can call you Vernon,
And Vernon when you call me
You can call me aaarrrggh

A man looks down the page
It's a page of a strange breed
Maybe it's the 'Bakery
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
He holds no account here
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by
The crowd the crowd
Of roadcones in the Marketplace
Panic PINs and Auto Collision Songs
He looks around
around
He sees Susen in the calendar
Vernon ad-infinitum
He says Amen! and Hallelujah!

If you be my iuvare
I can be your wood2coal
I can call you jutta
And jutta when you call me
You can call mihali
Call mihali

nah nah nah nah-nah-nah
nah nah nah nah-nah-nah...

RayfordSteele, Jun 23 2002

(?) Chevy Chase Bank http://www.chevycha....com/html/main.html
Probably an outgrowth of the Chevy Chase suburb near D.C. [RayfordSteele, Jun 23 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

You Can Call Me Al http://ultrawarp.co...evy/videocenter.htm
The video, fortified with added Chevy Chase. [calum, Jun 25 2002]

[link]






       Goes for air and bows deeply.
reensure, Jun 23 2002
  

       may I offer some croissants on the soles of your soles (awa' awa')
sappho, Jun 23 2002
  

       As I had to pick names that would simply make the song scan something like the original, there is no intentional meaning to any of it. Turns out there were only a few that sounded roughly like Al, Bodyguard, Pal, or Betty...
RayfordSteele, Jun 23 2002
  

       ::::applause:::: Bravo!   

       Does anybody know Chevy Chase's number?
calum, Jun 23 2002
  

       Not certain about his number, but he's got his own bank, apparently. Would YOU trust your credit card with Fletch?
RayfordSteele, Jun 23 2002
  

       have a croissant, Mr. Steele
runforrestrun, Jun 23 2002
  

       You think you can get halfbakers' votes by namechecking them?   

       Croissant.
-alx, Jun 24 2002
  

       "You can call mihali"   

       Inspired. Croissant.
waugsqueke, Jun 24 2002
  

       <sniff> that was beautiful man! have a pastry.
mihali, Jun 24 2002
  

       It's a work of art (Garfunkel).
sild, Jun 24 2002
  

       [calum], Just out of curiosity, what does Chevy Chase have to do with the price of tea in China?   

       -alx, reensure, mihali, et al. The minute I make my fortune off of this song, you'll get your cut.   

       By the way, anybody got bliss' phone number?
RayfordSteele, Jun 24 2002
  

       Rayford, Chevy Chase appeared with Paul Simon in the video for "You Can Call Me Al." It is fantastic - proof that seeing tall people next to small people is funny of itself. (Link).
calum, Jun 25 2002
  

       Star
IvanIdea, Jun 25 2002
  

       Calum and yama rolled out of bed
And ran to the halfbake station
When jutta found out she began to shout
And started the investigation..
It's the Murphy's law
It was against the law
What the bakers saw
It was against the law

Angel looks down and spits on the ground
Every time GTR gets mentioned
Unabubba said oy if I get that boy
He'll be in Inflatable House of detention
Rayford's on his way
st3f don't know where he's going
po's on her way

Rods taking his time
But he don't know where
Goodbye to blissmiss the queen of Corona
See you, me and reensure
Down by the troll-pen
See you, me and Helium
Down by the bakery
8th of 7 is down by the schoolyard

In a couple of days they come and delete my idea
But hippo let the story leak
And when Vernon the priest
Came to get some release
We all sat on FarmerJohn's Newsweek
[ sctld ]'s on his way
I don't know who PeterSilly is
I'm on my way

I'm taking my time
But I don't see phoenix
Goodbye to lubbit the ?king of Corona
See you, polartomato
Down by the vote button...

[repeat to fade...]
sappho, Jun 26 2002
  

       But surely this idea is really, "why not have a bizarre lyrics site?" And sure, why not?   

       Very funny, but this is an ideas site, is it not?   

       Yours grudgingly... (and [sappho], thanks for the namecheck)
PeterSilly, Jun 26 2002
  

       so *who else* says grudgingly?
po, Jun 26 2002
  

       UB and Sappho....time to move those to their own place in the halfbakery: song.
runforrestrun, Jun 26 2002
  

       In 'Graceland', just before the woman says "losing love is like a window in your heart..." does anybody else hear the words "she brushed her hair and farted" - we always sang it that way in the car, but I must have been about 12 before I realised those couldn't be the right words.
sappho, Jun 26 2002
  

       Humour Mr Bubba, does seem the wisest policy of all.
cassandra, Jun 26 2002
  

       WooHoo!   

       My first mention in a halfbakery song! Now I know I've arrived...
yamahito, Jun 26 2002
  

       Further bravo action for sappho and UnaBubba, though I am wondering how I ended up in bed with yamahito. Must have been a hell of a night out. [Spooky coincidences abound: "Me And Julio..." was the last song I heard before I read sappho's version.]   

       If sappho and UB both post their songs as ideas, will we need a halfbakery: song: paul simon section?
calum, Jun 26 2002
  

       calum: was it as good for you?
yamahito, Jun 26 2002
  

       <smiles happily, reaches for cigarette>
calum, Jun 26 2002
  
      
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