h a l f b a k e r y
The embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Simply assemble a group of 16 or so either soot-faced or ruddy cheeked young lads from the workhouse and fit each with a stove-pipe hat of such height that the height of each boy when added to the height of his hat is exactly the same as for the other boys. Then, you are free to distribute said group
around whatever lawn your are, in your capacity as landscape gardener, attempting to ensure is entirely level, which level-ness can be determined by reference to the same heightiness of the hats.
Employers concerned with the recent legislation regarding child labour will no doubt be pleased to hear that the stove-pipes are secured on the heads of your doughty team by means of a chin strap, which is fashioned to look like a beard, so as to ensure each boy looks older than 12 and therefore the eye of the constabularly will be deceived, though, of course, quite unintentionally.
Another guy
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Capability_Brown
[normzone, Aug 19 2007]
Enclycopedia Brown
http://en.wikipedia.../Encyclopedia_Brown
Some sort of fictional smartarse from the Colonies, it would appear. [calum, Aug 20 2007]
Graduated Stovepipe
http://imagecache2....The-Hat-Posters.jpg
[DrCurry, Aug 20 2007]
[link]
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That's the spirit! (Even if no spirits seem to have actually been utilised or consumed in the creation of this idea.) |
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Indeed not. However, you are, I'm sure, aware that this is the halfbakery, where we care not one jot for such fripperies as historical accuracy. |
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Yes. Historical accuracy is little required, even when the half-baked notion is for a history contest... |
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how many inches does a teenage boy grow in a day? |
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Credit where credit is due: it would be remiss of me - perhaps even to the point of moral turpitude - to fail to mention the contribution to this fine invention that was made by Jinbish, of this parish. Indeed, without his adaptation of my original "Abraham Lincoln Wedding Theme" idea to incorporate the identical aggregate height element, the CBALSL would never have been thinked of. And so, I propose a toast to the good doctor and wish him a speedy return from his sojourn elsewhere. |
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yumm, toast...to you both! |
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Soooo... that's how he did my croquet lawn. I must apply for an English Heritage grant to reinstate the lads, and their time-travelling hats. |
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//how many inches does a teenage boy grow in a day?//
Good point. Better make these stove-pipes telescopic, or, better yet, like a felt-covered bellows. |
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And here I thought Capability Brown was Encyclopedia Brown's more active, less booksmart brother. |
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ram a rake up their jackets. |
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I was thinking more of reliability of posture than good posture. A plausible Lincoln should stoop, but the degree of stoop should be consistent from measurement to measurement. |
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This could be achieved with a pectoral protractor, concealed beneath the beard. The beard should hang away from the chest at a given an reproducible angle, corresponding to degree of stoop. |
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I devoured Encyclopedia Brown as a young colonist. I thought I was the only one who remembered... |
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If you distributed the boys fitted with Seussical hats instead, you could use the graduations on the hats as a gauge as to how much to raise or lower the ground. |
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Careful [calum] don't be dissin on my homey Encyclopedia Brown. I was all up in that Shiznit when I was younger. |
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Agreed, Encyclopedia Brown is the sauce. He only asked ONE QUESTION! And even the POLICE CHIEF wasn't as smart as him! |
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