Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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CeraCera Facis

detect ceramic artifact shards under ground
  [vote for,

Similar to a metal detector (and yet completely different) , the CeraCera Facis makes a sweet little bleat whenever a piece of crockery, china, or other ceramic object is within it's range. (It can be set to varying degrees of detection, depending on location and terrain, eg: domestic, archeological, or urban). Personally, having practised Ceramic Restoration, I find it useful in detecting tiny shards of ceramics dropped on hard floors, which tend to shoot under cupboards and into the most ridiculously obscure places. (I once, long ago in the dark ages before CeraCera, found the final missing shard of a Portmeirion butter dish lodged between the gaps of a woven cane chair, after a rather baffling hunt). It is also very useful for locating my favourite coffee mug, which has a tendency to migrate at random to some very obscure places about the house, which I won't talk about here.

The basis for accurate detection of ceramic objects is centred around the particular ions commonly present in all fired ceramics. Of course, there are a few different ionic settings. One for high- fired ware, one for terracotta, another for low-fired and soft-paste ceramic, and we're currently working on glass and crystal detection.

Next up: Gemstone detection.

Now please, jesters all, try to refrain from making those crackpot jokes I know you're all fired up for. Yes, Iam a Ceramic Mechanic, and no, I am not ashamed.

Edie, Mar 07 2018


       //The basis for accurate detection of ceramic objects is centred around the particular ions commonly present in all fired ceramics.// How, exactly? Also, how will it discriminate ceramics from, say, concrete and brick, or gravel, sand or pebbles?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 07 2018

       It’d be jolly useful for finding the toilet.
Ian Tindale, Mar 07 2018

       And this relates to the gun control debate how?   

       I'm also not seeing any references to Trump OR Hitler.   

       Might want to check the rules page. (Just kidding Edie.)
doctorremulac3, Mar 07 2018

       What gun control debate? There isn’t such a debate. Not that I know of. What would the debate be about? Should soldiers control their guns with their hands, or their feet? That’d be ridiculous to even debate it.
Ian Tindale, Mar 07 2018

       // Should soldiers control their guns with their hands, or their feet? //   

       What if they've been disarmed ? Then they'd have to use their feet.   

       Next, the tragic proliferation of footguns ...
8th of 7, Mar 07 2018

       What [MaxwellBuchanan] said.
pertinax, Mar 07 2018

       Actually the ions in the glaze thing could work out. Scan a laser spectroscope on everything and find the locations of little particles with unique chemistry.   

       If you want greater depth there is a known technology x-ray fluorescence (XRF) that geologists aim at rocks to tell what they are made of at a little depth. it could probably find a glazed shard beneath many layers of wicker or just possibly centimeters of soil.   

       As to the ongoing research on gems, people use XRF to detect impurities in gems right now.
beanangel, Mar 07 2018

       cool beans...so this is really a half-fired idea then. Trump would not be hard put to deal with that. "You're half fired!"   

       As to the gun debate, well, before CeraCera, gun-lovers everywhere were sneaking ceramic bullets and wooden guns (See: In the Line of Fire, movie showing fully functional wooden gun), through metal detectors. This is, thankfully, now a thing of the past.   

       Now we just need a wood detector. Maple syrup, anyone?
Edie, Mar 07 2018


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