h a l f b a k e r ySugar and spice and unfettered insensibility.
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A several month course during which students are given menial tasks to do, but the marks aren't for the work, they're for the attitude: the ability to maintain a consistently solid work ethic for the duration of the course...
- cleanliness: personal and workspace
- punctuality: morn, breaks,
lunch
- appearance: clothing, hair
- sobriety
- ability to work OT on Fri/Sat/Sun and come in early without warning
- only work related phone/internet usage
- personal integrity
Presented with the Certificate from an applicant, HR departments are assured the bearer can meet the worker standards of most companies.
Mammon - The false god of riches
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammon
Not a religious reference before this becomes overbaked. [bigsleep, Oct 26 2009]
Why Not to Get a Job
http://www.stevepav...ld-never-get-a-job/
"Getting a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program." I can't vouch for this guy's advice, but this article sticks in my mind. [sninctown, Oct 26 2009]
[link]
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Thous shalt no other God but Mammon ..... |
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don't litter my posts with your "religious" tripe: if employers know up front whether you're able to work or not, they may be able to fit you in... or not. |
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"I promise to pay the bearer one soul". That kind of certificate ? |
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nope: just a certification that for the duration of the course, the student has been able to come in to work on time, clean and clean-shaven, doesn't go smoke dope in the bathroom and if given a computer, stays away from pornsites. |
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Former employers may fear expounding their ex-employees bad work habits for fear/bother of being sued and references are usually friends ('cuz it wouldn't quite work if they were enemies). |
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[FT], with respect, this is not a niche, a rant, nor minority view: 78.4% of Americans adhere to Christianity and 1.7% to Judaism. Employers are banned from asking an applicant about their religion for good reason... and this idea is bypassing those provisions. Would it hurt to remove that specific clause and replace it with 'overtime on short notice on working days'? |
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Being realistic I fail half your criteria and would only promote people who fail likewise. People are not products. You might want to qualify the "personal integrity" clause for something a little more franchise oriented. |
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//ability to work OT on Fri/Sat/Sun and come in early without warning// |
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So people with a family don't get one then? |
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I think one's membership in one of the numerous Altars of Mammon or simply regular attendance of a church that pays lip service to Word of Faith would be good grounds for servile employment. Round these parts we just work em until they drop then take the next one in line. As long as there's a long line of "applicants" for that scullery job at the rear entrance who needs to see a "wage slave" certificate? Having trouble finding the desperate unemployed in today's economy? A "Help Wanted" sign draws them like flies! |
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On the rare occasions when i've been employed and on the many occasions when i've worked for organisations in a voluntary capacity, i fulfilled all these criteria. You can tell how long ago it was by the length of my hair. It didn't keep me in work, didn't get me work and for that reason i have to conclude that employers aren't looking for punctuality, well-groomedness or anything else on your list. I have long since given up trying to work out what they do want, but it isn't any of this. My answer, of course, was to restructure my life so i could get people to pay me in other ways and maximise self-sufficiency. |
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It's funny. Over the past few days I've been thinking of
remaking my CV in a style that says something
like:
1999: master
1995: serf
1993: master
1987: serf
1985: serf
1984: master
1983: serf
1983: serf
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(Where "master" equates to utterly running
out of money, while some occasionally satisfactory art
materialised). |
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Now I needn't, as your certificate evaluates my
serfdom admirably. |
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It is a good job that these certificates demonstrate
creativity and an aptitude for managerial potential. |
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//your certificate evaluates my serfdom admirably//that's what it's for. |
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//religion// I don't know any Christians that have gotten out of working Sundays when the job requires it using the "against my religion" excuse. And while "what's your religion" may not be a valid question for employers to ask, "are you able to work at the required times" certainly is. |
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//integrity// I meant that as a catch-all "wont steal office supplies", "doesn't fart around" sort of thing. |
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[19thly] yes, but you're a *real* hippy not just somebody that falls into it 'cuz it's "easy" and saves on haircuts. |
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Mostly, this post was written for new-workers who have gotten an undeserved bad rep for being useless in the job market; apparently collegs and unis don't really prepare somebody for the slogging. |
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[FT]: the point is that even when the job does not require working on a Sunday, requiring a Certificate of Employability excludes all those who are not willing to work on a Sunday. Or are there going to be different types of certificate, depending upon which parts you meet? <For the avoidance of confusion and sidetracking this topic, I have added an echo to this idea within my profile> |
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the purpose is to see whether they can consistently get their arse into work when required, so I don't see any reason to issue a full certificate if they're not capable of it, whether it be religious, kids' baseball, euchre tournaments, weekly beerfest, whatever... but it's a slightly valid point, so I'm thinking an annotated "silver" certificate for the religious and other people with mandated weaselmeant. |
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//- ability to work OT on Fri/Sat/Sun and come in early without warning// I hate wage slavery, even for the rich. |
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//- personal integrity// and some of the other things on that list are mutually exclusive. Maybe "eager compliance with company-sponsored ethics training" would be better. |
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//this idea is bypassing those provisions.// Jesus would probably tell you to leave everything you have and follow Him, so you couldn't really do overtime or even regular time... |
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A relative of mine helps mentally handicapped people land
jobs with similar training. I sort see use for this, for a lot of
people, clueless kids starting out, the homeless, and anyone
leaving small businesses with few references could benefit
from this. |
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Toaster, - Yeah, like you're actually supposed to buy
your own
post-it notes, envelopes and staplers for the home. |
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[+] There was a time when all of these job-related skill sets were taught in high school and having your diploma was enough proof. But you should also add some other items:
-ability to tie shoes
-ability to secure belt and pants above the waistline
-ability to use a dictionary, read a road map, tell time on a non-digital clock
-skilled with the use of basic hand tools. |
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Make this a standardized evaluation rather than a true "certificate" and it might not be the worst thing in the world. |
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[FT], i have ineradicable ingrained hippy tendencies which can probably be detected by potential employers, but at the same time i find hippies really irritating. |
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Groovy link, [sninctown]. |
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