h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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Whaling is a very lucrative process for some. All you need is a big enough junky ship, a few smaller boats, and some spiny exploding projectiles. All you have to do is get those explosive projectiles into the whale. A massive quantity of meat, lard, bone, baleen, and various other potentially valuable
resources can be had.
All this at the cost of what may well be one of the most majestic creatures on earth.
Many individuals feel that whales are far more valuable than the meat they represent. Far more valuable than even the whale hunters, as can be seen by the various organizations which seek to preserve whales by destroying whaling ships, technology, and even the workers onboard.
While I am a fan of saving whales, I feel that attacking human resources is undesirable. Thus, I propose we equip the whales themselves so that harvesting them becomes cost-prohibitive.
Therefore, I bring to you the Cetaceans SCUBA. This blowhole-mounted unit is equipped with a series of air tanks, a snorkel, a solar-powered air compressor, and a blood-oxygen level sensor. During the daytime, when the whale nears the surface, the snorkel will breach the surface first, and the solar panels will have enough power to run the compressor.
Due to problems with barnacles covering solar panels, frequent maintenance may be necessary. Advanced models, still in the design phase at this time, are expected to have water electrolysis systems, and may be nuclear powered. A lot of bugs will have to be worked out on that design...
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Very good.
Can't help but wonder though if the military hasn't tried this very thing with dolphins. |
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I'm glad my idea spawned such a pleasant stream of
conservationist pastries. [+] |
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I am not sure whether strapping huge quantities of compressed air to something that is likely to get hit with a spear will reduce the impact on //human resources// |
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Did you completely miss the point, ya loon!? The purpose of the
airtanks is to prevent the whale from *getting* hit with a spear. |
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What if the whales don't take these units you're planning
on giving them? Or what if they take them, get them
home and can't understand the instructions? Or what if
they can, but due to an unforeseen technicality, can't
do the buckles up on the straps? |
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// can't do the buckles up on the straps? // |
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Nope, no opposable thumbs. |
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van der Whales Force, I suppose? |
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Dammit Buuba, ya beat me to it! |
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huh, here I was all ready to mfd it and it turns out to be scuba scuba. [+] |
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Sorry, perhaps there are some aspects of whaling that I am still unfamiliar with. How does this work? |
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We had been hoping to train the whales regarding the proper usage of the device. I suppose van-der-whales force may be a much better idea than making use of JB weld, or piercings as I had originally planned. More research will need to be put into this vital issue. |
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I suppose cost-benefit analysis will show that it'll be rather difficult to ensure much more than a few breeding pairs at a time are thusly protected... Well, we do what we can until something better comes along I suppose. |
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Pretty good idea. Will the whales require swim fins? |
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Probably, but how will they strap them on? |
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With Fluke Tape, of course. |
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