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Chainios
Oh yeah? Well, I ate 62 feet this morning, so there! | |
Cheerios are cool. Little loops of sugary fun, that leave you with a flavored bowl of milk once you've strained them out and eaten them.
New this summer is the latest breakfast cereal sensation.. CHAINIOS !
Cheerios, linked into a chain. To make things that little bit more authentic they
come with a little pair of bolt cutters in every pack. You grab the end of the chain and draw as much as you want out through the roller guides, into your bowl, cut the chain, add milk and enjoy.
Packaging is in the shape of a number of collectible model ships, including cruise liners, aircraft carriers and battleships. Tiny anchors in some packs allow you to "anchor" the package to your bowl of milk.
Sucking the chains back up, like spaghetti, makes this cereal the most fun you can have before noon.
Chainios ~bz
[bristolz,
Jan 21 2005, last modified Jun 28 2005]
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How are you going to link the pieces of cereal to one another? |
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Make them a little flexible and put a break in each link, like in real chain. It's not like you're going to tow coal barges through the Great Lakes with the stuff. |
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Or they can be in the shape of a loop and hook, like bead chain, or S shapes, like Monkey Links. |
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Chains, my baby's got me locked up in chains
And they ain't the kind
that you can see
Woah, these chains are of love
got a hold on me, yeah |
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Chains, well I can't break away from these chains
Can't run around
'cause I'm not free
Woah, these chains are of love
Won't let me be, yeah
I wanna tell you pretty baby
I think you're fine
I'd like to love you
But, darling, I'm imprisoned by these |
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Chains, my baby's got me locked up in chains
And they ain't the kind
that you can see
Woah, these chains are of love
got a hold on me, yeah
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Eeewww, [po] does Barry White? |
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<rock trivia nerd> The Beatles via one-hit wonders The Chains, written by Gerry Goffin / Carole King, released 1962. </rock trivia nerd> |
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Or, for the more heterosexually challenged (is that politically correct?), Erasure's "Chains of Love". |
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[How are you going to link the pieces of cereal to one another?] |
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Same way they get the caramel inside the Caramilk bar. Industry secret. |
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Very nice idea. You could also sell a sort of Cheerio/
Chainio hybrid cereal in which the pieces would be
shaped like 'C's. They would link together through random
jostling in the packet. Finding a naturally occuring chain
of them hanging off the edge of your spoon would be an
omen of good fortune and put you in a good mood for the
whole day. |
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They should sell donuts this way. |
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I had a feeling you had started a sketch after such a comment. Beautiful as usual. |
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Great idea, [Bubbs]. I'd prefer Apple Jacks chains instead of Cheerios, though. Or Froot Loops. Mmmm. These could also be fun for foody fetish people (just add licorice whips!). |
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Great! Sink some of Kellogg's huge profits into cracking the thorny problem of manufacturing linked cereal O's. [+] |
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Thanks for the drawing, [bris]. Much appreciated. |
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You're right. Sorry. But at least he's an elegant sort. |
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Did you mean, "Right are you. An elegant sort, at least is he." ? |
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I would have meant that were I subject to the southern coriolis effect. |
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Flexible cereal rings would be good for making chainmaille. The Aspect Ratio of cheerios is too small, so you'd need wider rings. Mmm, an edible cereal shirt, now that'd be a challenge |
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Along with the mini boltcutters, the cereal could come wrapped around the free toy, a little bicycle. Or better yet, send in 50 box tops with shipping and handling fees and get real boltcutters to get that Schwinn you've been eyeing in Billy's yard! |
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Billy chains his bicycle to a post, with breakfast cereal? Who knew? |
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For marketing to the fairer sex, color them yellow and attach “charms” to the links. Call it “charmos”. |
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I know this would sell! Kids love edible jewelry. |
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<Futurama>It's Human Horn!</F> |
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New inside Cheney-O's, an aluminum tube in every box! And 1 in 10,000,000 boxes will contain a black marshmallow heart, complete with bipass surgury detail! Find the heart and win! |
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