h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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Bug Vacuum
http://www.cleverge...ID=2001111416585143
Just found this in a magazine. If it was just a little bit bigger it might work for yappy dogs [barnzenen, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]
The feline equivalent of a chihuahua
http://www.noah.org...tures/naked_cat.jpg
[angel, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Prairie dog vacuum.
http://www.google.c...22&hl=en&lr=lang_en
I knew I remembered seeing this somewhere. Prairie dogs are the same size as the rats under discussion...so this is baked. [StarChaser, Nov 13 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]
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Brilliant idea and well worth a croissant!
How about having the dust canister fitted with a rocket motor and blasting them off the planet? |
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vacuum pack wrap them & give them back to owner.
UB I saw a very strange Australian film - man vacuum wrapped his cat to see if it stopped it breathing ????
well weird |
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Bad Boy Bubby. Yep, it's out there, alright. |
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thats the one only an Aussie could have done that |
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If there's something small in the
neighbourhood.
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If there's something fluffy
and it don't look good.
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If you're seeing rats
Pulling on the string.
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Bad Boy UnaBubba, grrrowl... |
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"I have no idea what to do with them when you empty the dustbag."
snake food
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I have a feeling abducting dogs and keeping them in a vacuum cleaner is illegal. Besides, these beasts are seldom spotted unattended - it's not as if they can run in the park. |
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You'd need shears to sever the leash, or a claw to pluck them out of elderly ladies' laps or wicker baskets. As quarterbaker almost suggests, carrying a large snake would be far simpler, and cut down on the technology (and consequent risk of failure). |
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got my vote, just don't mistake a Jack Russel for one of the little rats, you try to suck it up it will make a Monty-Python-Killer-Rabbit-esque flying leap and rip your head off. (I've got a Jack, can anyone tell?) also in the supplemental weaponry there should be a hammer so you can smash through car windows and zap those bobbing-head dogs that are so freaking annoying. too bad you didn't think of this back when Taco Bell had it's Yo Quiero etc. ad campaign going. would've saved us a lot of misery. |
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My god, for a moment I thought I had provoked Susen. I like the idea of snake food, it's so Larsonesque. |
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[potted], I'm sure it is illegal, I just like the image. |
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Brings a new meaning to the term "doggie bag". |
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Ba-Boom Crash!
I happen to like small dogs - living in an enormous city requires compact domesticated animals. Now, before you go off and invent a domesticated animal compactor - send me a fully grown dog which is already small enough to stand on all fours upon the palm of my hand. |
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My only bitch (no pun intended. Well, okay, just this once, it was) with dogs is that the owners don't train them not to bark. We have two dogs that almost never bark. Our neighbor's dog, however, only stops barking if you hit it with a paintball or a bottle rocket.
I must croissant this idea, though, because I keep thinking of the term "colostomy bag" which makes me giggle like a schoolgirl high on pot. |
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At least Russells are useful....unlike the annoying lap sitting, yip yapping creatures..... |
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Don't believe it? Go to my website and check out my Jack page where you can see the youngsters devouring a rodent. |
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As a dog-lover (not literally (that would be sick (and illegal, I'm sure))) I applaud your sentiment and croissant your idea. I'm suspicious enough of Jack Russels, Terriers and other ratters, never mind those little yapdogs - sorry, lapdogs. Hell, just how sure are we that they're actually canine (because I'm just not convinced)? Have they been studied properly? Tested? Dissected? They look like rats to me. Which would, incidentally, make your idea just another form of pest control. |
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As for the disposal issue - chihuahua-fried rice. |
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That's why it's in Waste Disposal category. |
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But this only deals with the symptom. The owners are the real disease.
Tough on yappy dogs. Tough on the causes of yappy dogs.
As for AfroAssault giggling like a schoolgirl...(gets mental image of Frank Gorshin as The Riddler)...very disturbing! |
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Make the hose look like a giant snake. Use the waste 'dogs' in hot dogs... truth in advertising! |
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Small dogs serve a useful purpose. I mean, can you imagine a 4 foot 8 granny tugging an alsatian down the shops? They provide companionship and love. OK, maybe I'm biased in favour of odd-looking things, but I think you should all show a bit more niceness. And rats are nice also, at least as pets. How can you like hamsters and not likkle doggies? |
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Plus: where would Ren and Stimpy be without Ren's chihuahuaitude? Would it be as funny if he was a Great Dane? No, it would be Scooby Doo. |
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Which definately isn't funny. |
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Put blades behind the intake and a small tank. "It's a high-protein feed for farm animals, insulation for low-income housing, a powerful explosive and a top-notch engine coolant," |
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StarChaser: I think you just invented the lawnmower. |
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Cruelty to animals. How clever. |
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It makes a change from being cruel to trollsters for a while. I also feel there's a distinction to be had between this and real cruelty to animals. In this one the 'dogs' are still in the canister, at the moment. I have no idea what I'll do with them once I've trapped them. |
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Sell them to Chinese restaurants, perhaps? |
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Pottedstu: Really? Cool! I better rush off and patent it now...<grin> |
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Mrthingy: Um, no. This is HUMOR. There's a difference... |
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Lessee, we got a bunch of rat-sized canines, but the owners are still on the loose, and we don't really want to chop up the poor little pathetic beasties because that would be crool and unhuman. How about we inject 'em with steroids and mutagens and growth factors and stuff and get 'em bulked up to proper dog size? Say between 100 and 200 kg. Then return 'em to their owners--"Here's Muffy back, I found her wandering in the park, been living rather well off small children I suppose..." Ha! The look on their faces! |
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AfroAssault, yeah the damned barkers. There's some genetics involved imho, but any dog that's under-stimulated, poorly socialized, and unexercised will probably express its frustration in uncontrollable barking. Also, mentally deficient canines are sometimes unable to control their mouths. |
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Not too much of a stretch to imagine the next version of the "Spay Station", a van that tours my suburban neighborhoods offering mobile spay and neuter services for pet owners. Just speed things up a little, borrow some technology from the street vacuums and early in the mornings you hear, in addition to the sound of the garbage truck making its round, the "Spay Station Ralpha" truck vacuuming up dogs and cats from one side of the street then returning down the other side, vacuuming anew and ejecting the newly done across the street from their home. Might become necessary, in fact. Need to get a design team going on the best way to entice the creatures close enough for the low air pressure to take over. Perhaps a hologram of a barking Chihuahua in front of the nozzle. |
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Dog <heh> Ed: A friend of mine once had someone try to defend chihuahuas by saying that they'd been bred to hunt rats, and he replied 'Yeah, and they brought home war-brides'... |
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Me, I think that they remember the glory days when huge packs of chihuahuas roamed the plains as the land piranha, able to strip a waterbuffalo to the bone in seconds, and it pisses them off. |
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Nice image! 30.000 small, vicious, bloodcrazed chihuahuas with bulging eyes, rounding up and devouring a small herd of bison. |
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StarChaser: ATTEMPTED humor. There's a difference. |
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Woof yip... vacuum up those noisy excuses for dogs.
FART! |
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One of those Ghostbusters backpacks with the particle accelerator ... Yee-haw ! |
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Don't punish the yippy dog for doing what its owners have enabled it to do...go after their irresponsible masters. |
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The same philosophy applies to ill-mannered children, by the way. |
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(Besides, I used to have a chihuahua when I was little and she was great. She bit me a few times, but mostly very loyal and a good watchdog.) |
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//I have no idea what to do with them when you empty the dustbag'//
foolserrand knows UnaBubba would offer the poor wee things a good home, no question. |
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Running on a treadmill, in a dungeon, for scraps. |
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Which is more than I'd be prepared to feed the canine vermin, also known as dog-pigeons. |
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Put the damned machine in reverse and chuck the little beggars out like a spud gun when you are finished. |
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Why waste perfectly good clay pigeons when small yappy dogs are perfect for the job. |
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Take the treadmill idea and add on a generator. Sounds like if you have enough of these high-strung hi-RPM little buggers you could eco-eliminate the electric co's business. How about replacing the motor in your rice-burner with a couple of them too? They can probably spin things fast enough.....ever tried to run from one that's chasing you?! |
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I'm really amazed that anyone would vote against this. (Although, it actually would be better with only the title and summary...) |
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