Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Children of Hen

Dystopian egg marketing
  (+4)
(+4)
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While I fully appreciate the reasoning behind marketing eggs as a healthy, natural product produced by happy, free-to-roam hens in liberal, carefree communes powered by renewable energy, surely this approach can only appeal to certain demographics?

Producing a new egg brand using bleak, dystopian themes would pull in the remaining percentage of consumers who have been turned off by the existing fluffy farmyard image of the egg. TV adverts could show the harsh reality of battery hens crammed into tiny wire enclosures beneath stormy black skies, the hens' shrivelled featherless bodies shuddering out tiny, anaemic and bloodied eggs. Newspaper or magazine adverts showing a pile of gray, almost translucent eggs with a hen nailed to a crucifix above them. An unrelenting internet campaign showing looping Flash banner ads of hens being pushed beak-first into clanking Victorian machinery interspersed by the strobed message 'BUY SOME EGGS' in 72pt Comic Sans.

On a per-egg basis each egg could have a 'fascinating fact' printed onto it, perhaps relating to chicken mortality rates or salmonella infection statistics.

rodti, Jun 30 2014

... is a hurricane a-blowing? ... http://www.youtube....watch?v=2Zail7Gdqro
[calum, Jun 30 2014]

[link]






       I have to wonder how this category came to be...
normzone, Jun 30 2014
  

       I like that we have a category that suggests we could reinvent the egg.
rodti, Jun 30 2014
  

       This sounds not dissimilar to the video for Blurred Lines.
calum, Jun 30 2014
  

       I'll have two of these and some Goth Crunch, please.
RayfordSteele, Jun 30 2014
  

       Well, I like the name of the idea. Zombie Eggs might attract some fans.
xandram, Jun 30 2014
  

       I have previously suggested live video feed from the slaughterhouse displayed on large screens along the meat aisle of the supermarket.
pocmloc, Jun 30 2014
  

       Given that heads are optional for chickens, it ought surely be possible to do this using a row of hen corpses plumbed in to some vast multi-branched feeding pipe arrangement.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 30 2014
  

       hen desu ne?
not_morrison_rm, Jul 01 2014
  

       Dye the eggs black, grey, bloodied, glow in the dark ?   

       "Eggs from hell and back"
popbottle, Jul 01 2014
  

       //Blurred Lines.//   

       I just watched this so I could get the reference. I don't think the producer was making a statement about how terrible music videos are, I think he was just utterly incompetent and may have decided to spin it that way. Like if I were to try to make a self portrait, end up with something that looks like a pickup truck climbing a tree, and try to sell it as modern art.
Voice, May 13 2021
  

       This is a very weird, dark, bizarre post. [+]
doctorremulac3, May 13 2021
  
      
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