Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Chocolate Contraception

birth control that everyone loves
  (+3, -5)
(+3, -5)
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Inspired by Valentines Spunk, I propose a highly effective birth control method that both men and women will enjoy. Using a careful blend of dietary supplements, men's sperm is given a chocolate flavor.

This 100% effective technique would have a wide range of positive effects including reducing aggression by lowering testosterone levels. A sudden steep decrease in the birth rate will ease population pressure around the globe and its attendant ill effects.

Side effects will be minimal, consisting primarily of modest weight gain and a few pimples for women. I suspect that this technique would be so effective that governments would either have to tax the supplements heavily to deter their use (which would no doubt inspire a global black market in Chocolate Contraceptives) or offer significant benefits to those willing to engage in actual reproduction and the raising of children.

"Are you *sure* you want to do it again?"

nuclear hobo, Mar 01 2007

Ask Yahoo: Does chocolate cause pimples? http://ask.yahoo.com/20050412.html
Summary: No. [jutta, Mar 01 2007]

[link]






       not a strawberry creme IUD then?
po, Mar 01 2007
  

       My GF doesn't like chocolate.
Noexit, Mar 02 2007
  

       //My GF doesn't like chocolate.//   

       Well, I guess you are screwed then.
nuclear hobo, Mar 02 2007
  

       Nice idea, but I'm about 3 millimeters from slapping it [mfd] magic.
5th Earth, Mar 02 2007
  

       //Well, I guess you are screwed then//   

       No, I'm not. She is. :)
Noexit, Mar 02 2007
  

       If you approve of the wording of this idea, would this be called sementics ?
xenzag, Mar 02 2007
  

       //No, I'm not. She is. :)//   

       The 'you' was collective, it works both ways.
nuclear hobo, Mar 02 2007
  

       //it works both ways// see, I told you that.
po, Mar 02 2007
  

       Well, I'm boning it (heh, heh) for not giving any sort of semi-plausible method of attaining chocolate flavor. And isn't this really a "flavor" idea?   

       Plus, I don't think it's going to be "100% effective". It needs a way to make sure guys will bother to consume that mythical diet. Not every woman likes chocolate, and even fewer like it enough to perform an act that they may presently consider repulsive and/or a sin, or may never have known that women do (remember Anita Bryant?).
baconbrain, Mar 03 2007
  

       Chocolate Contraceptive...   

       Eat Chocolate!   

       Not before, during, or after, but instead.
m_Al_com, Mar 03 2007
  
      
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