Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Climbing wall art

Why be limited to rocks?
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I was oogling a climbing wall recently. The grips and toeholds bolt into the wall. These grip points are a wide rangle of interesting blobs, featuring groove, holes etc. Apparently, old ones can be unbolted and new ones attached to provide climbing variety.

I propose that solid epoxy casts of body parts be substituted for these plebian handholds. The wall would be studded with hands, faces, genitals, big toes, and all the other external apparatus the human body offers. The overall result would be akin to Dante's lake of ice, but vertical. It would also make for an interesting climbing experience!

bungston, Jul 08 2004

Great Deeds Against The Dead http://vassun.vassa...ndy/GreatDeedsL.jpg
Jake and Dinos Chapman 1994 [calum, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Zygotic Acceleration http://www.fogless....ticAcceleration.jpg
Jake and Dinos Chapman 1995. Either of these could be expanded or cannibalised to make a natty climbing wall. [calum, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Dante's lake of ice but horizontal http://public.fotki...tica_bathtub_4.html
again, not for the easily offended. [calum, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

Here ya go. http://www.elissa.o...ay2003/dscn0606.jpg
I'm thinking this one can't be more than a 4. [k_sra, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       You'll be pulling our legs.
FarmerJohn, Jul 08 2004
  

       surreal!
po, Jul 08 2004
  

       “Victory seemed assured, but Jack made an unwise choice, avoiding the hard male appendage within easy reach and lunging for the buttocks well beyond it. He missed, and the fall put him in last place. Jack said later that ‘I’d be damned if I was gonna touch that thing. It was just too realistic.’”
ldischler, Jul 08 2004
  

       It's not shock art until you make all the appendages animatronic. +
sartep, Jul 08 2004
  

       Why not add the occasional body fluid to increase the challenge?
zigness, Jul 08 2004
  

       “I was doing just fine until the foothold I was resting on went flaccid”
hippo, Jul 08 2004
  

       MMmmmm...boobies....*slip* AUGH!!!
shapu, Jul 08 2004
  

       They (climbing hold manufacturers) have had single female breasts as climbing holds for quite some time. Nice shape to boot (or hold).
everyshoefits, Jul 08 2004
  

       I'm not hanging off anyones arse.
skinflaps, Jul 09 2004
  

       Yes...unfortunaetly, to use the arse appendage, you need to use what is commonly known as a "crack hold" - insert hand in arse, rotate thumb to create resistance, pull yourself up. Not sure I could do that....
goff, Jul 09 2004
  

       Most excellent. Big croissant.   

       Reminds me of the work of Jake and Dinos Chapman. I've posted links. Maybe best not to look at them if you are of a sensitive disposition.
calum, Jul 09 2004
  

       The visions conjured up by this are marvellous. +
Detly, Jul 09 2004
  

       "Did you see that bloke here last week?"
"Yeah, fell off when he couldn't concentrate on his handhold"
"Bet he felt a right tit..."
goff, Jul 12 2004
  

       Those with "outey" bellybuttons have an in-built advantage.
lostdog, Jul 12 2004
  

       A "celebrity body parts" climbing wall would surely be inevitable.
half, Jul 12 2004
  

       [lostdog] Well, not really "in-built" eh?
goff, Jul 13 2004
  

       On a busy wall, you run the risk of grasping another climber's parts, resulting in either Benny-Hill-style anarchic frivolity, or David-Cronenberg-style horrific tearing. + anyway.
friendlyfire, Jul 13 2004
  

       Sweating, straining, trying to reach the parts others people can't reach. Body parts and climbing go hand in hand.   

       Brings a new meaning to a helping hand.
scubadooper, Jul 13 2004
  

       "Body parts and climing go hand in hand": the word "climing", is that a contraction or perhaps slang that I was previously unaware of?
half, Jul 13 2004
  

       They got one in Norway... if you go after hours [link].
k_sra, Jul 14 2004
  

       I'm not even going to pretend to understand that one bliss.
goff, Jul 15 2004
  

       Good link, [k_sra]. I spent the better part of an hour Googling for the stylistically similar frieze depicted in "Devil's Advocate" with Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino to no avail. Your link is better in any case.
jurist, Jul 15 2004
  

       I'm sure it'll lead to a lot more ogling of the wall.   

       Might be good for my climbing as I'd actually have a look at the wall and think about planning out my route rather than just going for it. (not that I'd adjust my route to make sure I got a good grip of that particularly juicy...
scubadooper, Jul 15 2004
  

       Could also be used for really diffcult overhang sections where you need artificial climbing aids to gain a hold - but I would have no idea where to insert my nuts...
goff, Jul 15 2004
  

       [goff] in the crack, where else?
scubadooper, Jul 15 2004
  

       [scuba] No, if it was a crack, I'd use a friend instead...
goff, Jul 15 2004
  

       [goff] try the crevice just below that navel to your right
scubadooper, Jul 15 2004
  

       Could save on construction costs of the wall by using piled up perverts on community service.
Prolixed, Jul 15 2005
  

       <singing>I'm caught in a crack.. I can't walk out.. because I love you too much baby</singing> (+).
neilp, Jul 15 2005
  

       //They (climbing hold manufacturers) have had single female breasts as climbing holds for quite some time// Do any manufacturers make married female breasts?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 15 2005
  
      
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