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Years ago, I used to work in nightclubs. One of the problems I found was that I'd lose my voice every night through the need to compete with the music to be heard.
Imagine a headset with an arm protruding along the jawline on each side, to support a lightweight megaphone about 6in long and 4in
across. You don't have to yell so loud to be heard. Plastic needs to be reasonably soft so it doesn't cut you up if a patron actually lands one in a blue.
The deluxe model includes an electronic amplifier, also very lightweight. It puts out about 100-105 dB of sound.
These would also be useful safety equipment in noisy, dangerous workplaces, like mines and foundries.
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So what's wrong with a battery-powered PA with a head-set mic? |
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That's nowhere near as silly, impractical, halfbakery friendly or stupid-looking. |
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These would be fantastic for nerds at public protests. Sort of like plastic pocket protectors for demonstrators. |
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Nor does the dipshit who's making a complete knob of himself by annoying other patrons have a headset on. Rather than yell at the little snot you just speak normally. He gets you, loud and clear. |
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[high pitched squeal]...err...is this thing on? HELLO! MY NAME'S BOB. DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN?
LOVE THE ...oops sorry, forgot to turn it off. Love the image Unabubba. Have a pastry. |
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teachers would love these - come the end of term, they are all whispering |
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They'd only turn the music up louder. Loud music in clubs is just a cunning plan to stop you saying how crappy the place is and agreeing where else to go. |
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(Sorry, slipped into granddad mode for a moment there.) |
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There's a guy who hangs out on Market Street in San Francisco; he's got a contraption like this. The guy plants himself right next to the cable car turnaround, between The Gap and the pedestrian crossing to the mall, and endlessly dispenses the same spiel ... day in, day out, season after season. His message has something to do with the moral corruption of premarital sex. |
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The man's annoying, but his amplified interruptions make the conversations of passersby much more interesting: |
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"Did you see those cute pants MARRIAGE BETWEEN A VIRGIN MAN AND A VIRGIN WOMAN Sandi was wearing? I think she got them WOMAN A WHORE at Nordstrom's." |
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"Yeah, but she got them AND THE MAN A WHOREMONGER last year ..." |
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Also useful for finding lost pets and getting the kids back in the house for dinner. Croissant. |
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Speaker needs to sit on top of the head for complete geek effect, though. |
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For the life of me, I can't find a picture of David Letterman's headmounted speaker rig |
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Is Letterman real? Or is he some kind of Max Headroom Bot? |
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I could probably sell these to motorcycle cops... DRIVE OVER, PULLER... ER... PULL OVER, DRIVER... |
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