h a l f b a k e r y
Get half a life.
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Maybe teamed with a campaign from the DVLA and the Metropolitan Police? |
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Hey officer, won't you gimme probiotic? |
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I've wasted all afternoon trying to come up with a rhyme for 'peach melba'. It just can't be done. |
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po, that's reasonable (why didn't I think of that?), but no cigar - and DrCurry and hippo, I'm sorry, but dropping an M and using 'Elba', as in 'the Isle of' or, (from the linked poem)
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"In the room the women come and go....?"’
He smirks, then ordering dessert (Peach Melba),
leans back, it's good, he thinks, 'to be in the know'.
‘Tomorrow,’ she suggests, ‘lets visit Elba’.
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A 'baker named Tom had Peach
Melba
Stopped eating and cried "I
smell ba-
nanas or
something"
"That's twice this
month" in-
terjected that 'baker
from Elba
Damn! There goes
"Elba" again! (I took my eye off the ball
after finding a rhyme for "something") |
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Ho ho - I actually spilled a bit of my yoghurt laughing at that! |
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I think I'm gonna need to forward this to waugs, who can then explain and pat my hand and tell me how to vote. Or if voting is even a thing one would want to do...I think. |
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as long as it features my number one irritation of all time
Tommy Steele, leading an army of cheerfully rhyming
cockneys (all of them please) into the Thames at low tide,
like the pied piper riding on the back of his little white,
yogurt
coated bull, then the whole lot being washed out to sea,
as the tide turned, leaving nothing but a giant yoghurt
slick
for the gulls to feast on. The bull, of course, swims ashore
unharmed + |
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Cheap imitations ("Tesco value") would have to settle for Dick Van Dyke... [+] |
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Will the yoghurt have to be made within the sound of Bow bells? |
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Lovey tasting cock-a-ney yoghurt,
Flavours like Peach Melba
See top of pot:
for date, selba. |
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"Oranges and Lemons", said the Bells of St. Clement's
"Peaches and Melba" say the Bells of St. Elba
"Please eat me daily" say the Bells of Old Bailey
"My culture's rich" say the Bells of Shoreditch
"I'll have a strawberry" say the Bells of Stepney
"My fat is real low" say the Great Bells of Bow
"Here comes a Yoghurt to alight you from bed
Here comes a Knife to butter your bread
Drip drop drip drop - til the last man's fed." |
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Parhaps some anagrams could be used in the jingle; |
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Check young tory / Coco tyke hungry- / He try Gunky coco / Crunchy, yet go OK. |
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Trench yucky goo / Chuck ye orgy not- / Yecch gunky root / Cock thy urge yon... |
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Practically any word can rhyme in Reggae, you just put the same vowel on the end of every word and excentuate and lengthen that sylable. |
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Love peach and melba
Know what i mean-ah
Need probiotic-ah
Very rich cultur-ah |
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It's sad watching all your feeble efforts to be cockneys. The answer is obvious to anyone who has even a passing knowledge of the lingo:-
If you want yoghurt in your belly
You can't go wrong with our Dame Nelly!
<wanders off singing 'The old bamboo"> |
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//You can't go wrong with our Dame Nelly// Our?
Nellie Melba was an Aussie. |
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Yes and sp: Nellie. 'Dame Nellie' is rhyming slang for 'elbow' as in "He Dame Nellied me in the boat race." |
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I wasn't referring to the origin of Dame Nellie (sp: corrected!) but to the origin of the, no doubt delicious, Cockney Yoghurt. Oh do pay attention! |
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Black Cherry - Woolwich Ferry.
Forest Fruits - D.M. Boots.
As in "I'll 'ave a Woolwich and a low-fat Doc" |
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Vanilla - Urban Guerilla
Passion fruit - bathing suit |
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I was bawn a' Beffnal Green 'ospi'al. See link. Tha' makes me an 'onorary member by birf. I don't know no lingo, bu' I don't 'arf tawk funny. |
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Dropped T's and H's; th becoming ff; and plenty of 'aints': after leaving the extreme South-East (including the area around Chatham - pronounced Cha-am), it took me a long time to talk proper like what the rest of you does. |
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The only over-run I have is trouble with double ll's: an example in the link is 'Millwall'. I still say it 'Miw-wawl'. |
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rhyme it with any of these three people : Ahmed Mehelba, Milena Velba, Rajmund Kanelba or Mercedes Scelba. |
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Or, alternatively, with Apus melba, which is the latin for the Alpine Swift. Obviously. |
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I don't understand this idea. |
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yeah, you get to know peoples' backgrounds - like why [jtg] became a geologist and not a mathematician. :) |
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counting rings must be so hard. |
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sorry, still laughing - where's hazel, to wake him up? |
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'Ere, is tha' a cockney's yoghurt? Oooo-eerrr, Ah'll not be ea'in' tha' wan, than. |
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If we made non-dairy versions of these fine products could we call them Mockney Yoghurts? |
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Perhaps we could make a few 'ackneyed old jokes about pimples? |
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//yeah, you get to know peoples' backgrounds - like why [jtg] became a geologist and not a mathematician. :)//
[Insert reference to 'Spanish Inquisition' sketch here] |
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