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Naked, Roland stood stock still, then pulled the lanyard gently with his left hand. "Phut!" went the contraption. A projectile shot across the room, impaling itself on a protuberance of Roland's unremarkable anatomy.
Roland leapt into the air with joy as he felt the warm, smooth embrace of the
prophylactic enclose him; savoured the gentle sensation of tightness as the successive rings of bearings smoothed the closed latex tube over his turgid flesh. The sabot slipped off and fell to the floor, ready for reuse.
At last! It was ready! Roland's head filled with dreams of greatness as he quickly dressed and loaded the Condomatic into a violin case, preparatory to visiting a patent attorney he knew. In a society obsessed with guns this one was sure to be a winner.
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Annotation:
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Yee haaa! Where's that woman? (woops no sex tonight,
she caught me on the halfbakery again) |
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Halfbakery as contraceptive? Good idea. |
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[ Condomatic ] ? In some states there may be restrictions on how many charges the gun may hold. |
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And the old timers will want muzzle loaders. |
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Semi-automatic only. Maximum of 8 rounds, Brownring Hi-Power. |
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Groan.....or groin, whichever's more appropriate. |
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Do you, Smith, take this Wesson to be your... |
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User Caution: If not properly loaded, device may go off half-cocked. |
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[ Also brings new meaning to holding a gun to someone's head, and sticking to your guns. ] |
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Bang wham bam thank you ma'am. |
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My warped mind imagined replacing the projectile with a lamb's tail ring. |
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I once devised a marketing strategy for castration rings. We called them No-Nads. |
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//Roland's head filled with dreams of greatness as he quickly dressed and...// |
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Uh... did he, erm, undress first? |
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He'd be right if it rained, too. |
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That act may have as much satisfaction for some as the act it's designed for... It seems that if there were a way for the condomatic to shoot them out preheated... well that my cause some guys to forget about the gal. You know, just one more practice? |
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"I hope that's a gun in your pocket because I'm VERY pleased to see you..." |
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Shooting from the hip again, UB? Nice. |
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I don’t know. I go away for a week or so and return to this. How exactly does this 'shoot' across the room and find the target? I imagine arduous mathematical calculation and a heavy use of protractors and set squares. It might appeal to the maths geeks...just don't aim too low for God's sake. Ow! |
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Careful where you point that thing. |
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If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- keep the weapons locked and away from the children |
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Careful with that prophylactic Eugene. |
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It'll put your one-eyed out. |
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Having already posted here multiple times, I now stumble over this and think ................" condom gum ? "...... |
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but don't take it out in public or they will stick you in the dark |
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[2 fries] I forgot what I said, and I've been deleted. But I will be anyway. |
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The idea reminds me of Adam Corolla's condom loader notion. Only with a long-range option. |
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[Freefall] - it's "stick you in the DOCK(S?)." :) |
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