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Conspiracy Theory Acceptance Rating

Ranked by tinfoil hat thickness, from 1 to 5 layers.
  (+11, -1)(+11, -1)
(+11, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

If you believe in the Loch Ness monster, but that's about it, you get a "1 Layer Tinfoil Hat" ranking. After all, the thing looks kind of like a plesiosaur and they did think the coelacanth was extinct before they caught one alive.

Throw in the Area 51 stuff, you'd be a "2 Layer Tinfoil Hat" ranking. There might be aliens out there and the government does cover up stuff.

The highest (lowest) ranking would be the "5 Layer Tinfoil Hat Conspiracy Theorist" for those who have yet to hear a conspiracy theory they don't believe.

doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012

Alien Abduction Verification Bureau Alien_20Abduction_20Verification_20Bureau
Shameless elf-publicity [8th of 7, Oct 11 2012]

I'll just leave this here. http://the2012scena...o-disclosure-plans/
"UFO disclosure plans." Apparently Obama intends to inform us that we are not alone November 27th of this year. [Voice, Oct 15 2012]

For [2fries shy] https://www.igame.com/eye-test/
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2017]

For [Max]. A proper hue test. http://www.colormun.../game/huetest_kiosk
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 14 2017]

Multi Photon Infra Red Vision http://www.pnas.org...t/111/50/E5445.full
[bs0u0155, Jun 16 2017]

A slightly harder hue test https://mitxela.com...r/hb/colourtest.htm
[mitxela, Jun 17 2017]

Online questionnaire for [2fries] http://www.mufon.co...-questionnaire.html
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 20 2017]

[link]






       A solid 5, especially when they claim to know for a fact that steel has to melt into liquid before it can bend.
doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012
  

       We have to define what a conspiracy theory is first of all. The Lock Ness monster is a legend, not a conspiracy theory like chemtrails. Secondly is this "acceptance rating" about how many people accept the theory as reality, or how acceptable it is from a scientific and plausibility standpoint? For instance, Area 51 might not be accepted by many people earning it a high tin-foil hat rating. At the same time, there is quite a high probability that weird things have happened there so does that reduce the number of hats?   

       -if Bush wanted to perpetrate 9/11 as an excuse to invade iRaq, wouldn't he have said that it was iRaq that attacked us to make it more justified?
DIYMatt, Oct 10 2012
  

       //-if Bush wanted to perpetrate 9/11 as an excuse to invade iRaq, wouldn't he have said that it was iRaq that attacked us to make it more justified?//   

       One of the finest rebuttles to that conspiracy I've ever heard.   

       Mine was why not just say the terrorists planted the explosives in the WTC? Why go through all the trouble of flying empty planes, kidnapping and vanishing hundreds of airline passengers etc? This was in fact what they did the first time they tried to blow up the world trade center with the van full of explosives. Why not just say they got it right this time?   

       Good point about legend vs conspiracy. I could say it's a conspiracy to keep the Lockness Monster covered up but I'm un-aware of any such thing so I should probably find another example.   

       Hmm. What's a light harmless conspiracy that would only warrant a 1 layer? hat ranking?   

       Ok, the hundred mile per gallon carburator. I'll change it. Actually, then your anno won't make sense so I'll leave it.
doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012
  

       Where does homeopathic medicine fall?
RayfordSteele, Oct 10 2012
  

       That one creeps me out because it's so popular. I don't know, do the people get a pass because they just hear a scientific sounding word and turn their brain off? This opposed to somebody who buys all the books and videos and won't shut up about it at the water cooler? Ehh, 1 layer.   

       Maybe we need a huge expensive government bureaucracy to figure these things out.
doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012
  

       //Where does homeopathic medicine fall?// 0.000,000,001 tinfoil hats.
pocmloc, Oct 10 2012
  

       How did I miss that one?
doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012
  

       //That one creeps me out because it's so popular.//   

       Guys, guys, guys. Every time you hear of someone who believes in astrology, homeopathy, lay lines, gods or reiki, your heart should leap with joy.   

       It means there is one more person on Earth than whom you are smarter, and who can be gulled out of large sums of money with relative ease. These people can be harvested to support the rest of us.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 10 2012
  

       Do you believe in Tin Foil Hats?
xandram, Oct 10 2012
  

       The true conspiracy behind the Lock Ness Monster is that The Discovery Channel created the legend in the 1990s so that they could have endless series and specials based on it.
DIYMatt, Oct 10 2012
  

       When I get to the end of my rope with 9-11 Truthers or whatever, my generic response to the completely un-swayable conspiracy nut is to just say "You give people waaaay to much credit for being amazingly competent."   

       My favorite is the Moon landing "hoax". They don't deny that a rocket the size of a skyscraper was shot into the sky, they just don't believe that after that we gave the tiny space capsule at the top a little nudge to the right so that it could go the rest of the way to the Moon. I explain to them that the supersonic flying skyscraper was the hard part.   

       I think being stupid releases endorphins or something hence it's great popularity as a pastime.
doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012
  

       It's a funny idea for a rating system but not really a very good visual rating system as a one layer foil hat and a five layer foil hat are not appreciably different.
rcarty, Oct 10 2012
  

       Tinfoil hats will be in fashion soon.   

       I shouldn't even chime in on this one... yeahright.   

       ~I believe there are aliens, and figure we're a probably pretty interesting science experiment.
~I think that 'some' corporations are becoming as powerful as countries and have no ethic.
~I think that there are groups of people who would just as soon have a vast majority of the population eliminated or subservient.
~...and I've had a sasquatch encounter.
  

       <does best Shrek>
"I need more layers Donkey!"
  

       //~I believe there are aliens,// yes.   

       // and figure we're a probably pretty interesting science experiment// unlikely.   

       //~I think that 'some' corporations are becoming as powerful as countries and have no ethic.// yes.   

       //~I think that there are groups of people who would just as soon have a vast majority of the population eliminated or subservient.// obviously.   

       //~...and I've had a sasquatch encounter.// no.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 10 2012
  

       You had me up till Sasquatch.   

       Unless you're making a ribald joke about having dated a hairy girl in college.
doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012
  

       I was just talking to someone who sounded as though they had at least the 5-layer thickness. "Do you believe in freemasons?" he asked. After a great deal of laughter, I told him that I knew a couple and they are a lovely dinner club. Apparently they control *everything* that goes on in the world. "There's about 6 billion of them worldwide." Yeah...
TomP, Oct 10 2012
  

       I think it's somehow comforting to believe that someplace there's a group of people who know everything.
doctorremulac3, Oct 10 2012
  

       Funny part is that the Sasquatch bit is the only one of those beliefs that I'm completely sure of.   

       Ain't life grand?   

       // 'some' corporations are becoming as powerful as countries and have no ethic.//   

       so, is that like Apple versus Luxembourg, or Facebook & Twitter versus Mubarak? Banks versus sovereigns that take their money and run? Big Oil versus Venezuela?
theircompetitor, Oct 11 2012
  

       Might I suggest that the scale goes something like this   

       1. I seriously doubt that the tin hat rating is serious   

       2. The tin hat rating is a valuable tool   

       3. I suspect the Tin hat rating was devised by the Government to control us.   

       4. The Tin hat rating is the work of the 6ft lizards.   

       5. The tin hat rating is a front for Halfbakery world domination.
PainOCommonSense, Oct 11 2012
  

       <reads idea>   

       <removes hat, peers inside>   

       <counts 6 layers>   

       <replaces hat>   

       <creeps away>   

       // ~I believe there are aliens, //   

       Correctly.   

       // and figure we're a probably pretty interesting science experiment //   

       No, you're a cheap reality TV show- comedy/ light entertainment. You get great ratings, but for all the wrong reasons.   

       // ~I think that 'some' corporations are becoming as powerful as countries and have no ethic //   

       Clearly you are unaware of the VOC and the Honourable East India Company …   

       // ~I think that there are groups of people who would just as soon have a vast majority of the population eliminated or subservient //   

       … specialised subject, "The Bleedin' Obvious"…   

       // ~...and I've had a sasquatch encounter //   

       Are you sure it wasn't just a regular Canadian? Tall, hairy, huge feet, communicates in grunts? Hard to tell apart …
8th of 7, Oct 11 2012
  

       And we can stop the voting, we have a winner.   

       In the category: "Single Greatest Link Ever Posted On The Halfbakery Of All Time"... envelope please...   

       ...Simpleton's "Tin Foil Hats Actually Make it Easier for the Government to Track Your Thoughts". (smattering of applause from the two old ladies in the audience who took a wrong turn on their way to the Sunday buffet)   

       This truly is my all time favorite story and it gives me my new standard zinger for non-stoppable conspiracy nuts.   

       "You know, tinfoil hats actually HELP the government track your thoughts. Just sayin'."
doctorremulac3, Oct 11 2012
  

       Lockness? No true Scotsman is unable to aspirate a c.
calum, Oct 11 2012
  

       All these extreme incidents in US history, IMO, deflect attention from other things. That's what's troubling... wondering what it is we're not seeing because we have something else put before us.
Phrontistery, Oct 11 2012
  

       Yea, you gotta wonder. If you're spending all your time worrying about Freemasons and chemtrails doesn't that take away from your ability to take care of the very real business of dealing with actual problems that come with running a society?   

       Then there's the troubling idea that people who've been abducted by aliens get exactly the same number of votes that I do.
doctorremulac3, Oct 11 2012
  

       If believing an untrue conspiracy makes someone crazy, then what does disbelieving a true conspiracy make someone?
rcarty, Oct 11 2012
  

       // what does disbelieving a true conspiracy make someone? //   

       A Roman Catholic …   

       Gratuitous <link>
8th of 7, Oct 11 2012
  

       No true Roman Catholic would disbelieve a true conspiracy.
rcarty, Oct 11 2012
  

       "True Conspiracy"   

       Great title for a novel.
doctorremulac3, Oct 11 2012
  

       It should be about these masters of industry who have a plan to reduce everyone to the level of commodity but need to have everyone adopt a certain rational system of thinking, so as the plan begins to unfold a bunch of random people go crazy but being crazy they don't know exactly what is going on and only appear extremely irrational to others. The masters realize these crazies, that at first were a burden to them, could be of some use when they realize the others define their rationality in relation to them. This leads to the ultimate conspiracy being constructed whereby all means are used to popularize conspiracy theories but only for the most irrational people to accept them, for only they would choose possible delusion over social inclusion. This creates a shroud for the original conspiracy, trapping the minds of those who wish to remain sane as rational commodities.
rcarty, Oct 11 2012
  

       Hey, it practically writes itself.
doctorremulac3, Oct 11 2012
  

       What can I say functional shit reproduces itself.
rcarty, Oct 11 2012
  

       That reads suspiciously like the Republican platform document.   

       //It means there is one more person on Earth than whom you are smarter, and who can be gulled out of large sums of money with relative ease. These people can be harvested to support the rest of us.//   

       But Max, these people also get to vote.
RayfordSteele, Oct 11 2012
  

       //these people also get to vote.//   

       When did THAT start??
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 11 2012
  

       Be not afeared, M'Lud. These aren't real votes, and they don't change anything. If religion is the opium of the masses, voting is the soluble aspirin.   

       Everything will continue to be run by small groups of soberly-dressed men in expensively furnished back rooms, just like they have always been.
8th of 7, Oct 11 2012
  

       I guess you could say voting is the homeopathic medicine we use against tyranny.
doctorremulac3, Oct 11 2012
  

       I don't think people who worry about freemasons and chemtrails are qualified to worry about society's problems.   

       I think the rating should partially be a function of how many times a claim has been made and disproved.
Voice, Oct 15 2012
  

       Here's a good way to determine how many layers are needed.   

       Which of these end-of-the-world events did you or do you believe in? (assign 1 layer for each)   

       1982 March 10th - The Jupiter Effect (combined gravitational forces of lined up planets were supposed to bring the end of the world on this day.)   

       1982 - Pat Robertson, predicted this end date in 1976.   

       1999 - Nastrodamus prediction of the "King of Terror" starting the final war.   

       2007, April 29th - Pat Robertson (again) suggested this is the day of the Earth's destruction, but for real this time.   

       2012, December - Mesoamerican calander ends, the world follows.   

       5 billion AD - The sun swells into a red giant and burns the earth to a crisp.   

       (I happen to believe in the last one myself)
doctorremulac3, Oct 15 2012
  

       03:14:07 UTC on Tuesday[ 2] 19 January 2038: the time_t long interger count rolls over.   

       But your species doesn't need to worry; you're not going to last that long.
8th of 7, Oct 15 2012
  

       In 5 billion AD we will just teleport the earth to another star. You left out the ultimate tin foil hat championship conspiracy: that the super secret planet Nibiru will swing by and kill us all in 2003, 2012, or 2900 depending on who you ask.
DIYMatt, Oct 15 2012
  

       Is that the planet that we never see because it's always on the far side of the Sun, or the planet in Zeta Reticuli 2 that's inhabited by evil grey lizards that have successfully mastered FTL travel and yet are repeatedly thwarted in their attempts to conquer Earth?
Alterother, Oct 15 2012
  

       Yeah, that's the grey lizards for you … fashion victims.
8th of 7, Oct 16 2012
  

       Wonder what would happen to the economy if we outlawed all products that were based on b.s. and lies.   

       I think selling something like homeopathic "medicine" or psychic advice is immoral myself, but I know plenty of folks who think taking money from ignorant people is perfectly acceptable as kind of a de facto "stupidity tax".   

       Although I don't support that view I can see where they're coming from.
doctorremulac3, Oct 17 2012
  

       //Guys, guys, guys. Every time you hear of someone who believes in astrology, homeopathy, lay lines, gods or reiki, your heart should leap with joy.//   

       Magnetic bracelets have a unique role in this, you can work out that you're smarter than someone REMOTELY... from like 10's of metres away. You don't have to interact with them to work out how persistently-baffled they are. This is amazing.... like humanity learning to kill dangerous things with chuck-able spears.... all the benefits at greatly reduced risks...
bs0u0155, Oct 17 2012
  

       Yahbut... stuff like "vaccination" and "causing an inflammation artificially to get antibodies to attack an infection that's flying under the radar" which may have a smaller nomenclative [edit: immunosomething], seem to be rooted in the concept of homeopathy.
FlyingToaster, Oct 17 2012
  

       Well, true, but you could say astrology is rooted in astronomy and alchemy is rooted in chemistry, but it's still wrong.
doctorremulac3, Oct 17 2012
  

       //Yahbut... stuff like "vaccination" and "causing an inflammation artificially to get antibodies to attack an infection that's flying under the radar" which may have a smaller nomenclative, seem to be rooted in the concept of homeopathy//   

       yeah... what is all this 'memory of cells' malarkey? Sounds deeply suspicious to me....
bs0u0155, Oct 18 2012
  

       There should be a formal SI unit of gullibility … maybe it could be called the "JFK" or the "WTC" or maybe even the "Elvis" …   

       Maybe the National Enquirer could run a competition? Then again, it would probably be fixed behind the scenes by the Masons or the Knights Templar or Coca-Cola …
8th of 7, Oct 18 2012
  

       " yeah... what is all this 'memory of cells' malarkey? Sounds deeply suspicious to me.... — bs0u0155, Oct 18 2012 "   

       Clearly it's rooted in revolutionary tactics, using small, semi-autonomous cells guided by a central leadership.
normzone, Oct 18 2012
  

       LOL. Simpleton's link: "Jesuit Bukakki Bomb". (proud to say I'm not sure of the spelling and will not look it up thank you)   

       If it was back in the early 80s and I was starting a punk band, that's what I would have named it.
doctorremulac3, Oct 22 2012
  

       Sp: Bukkake
Alterother, Oct 22 2012
  

       Thank you. I don't remember this word coming up at any spelling bees I competed in in my youth.
doctorremulac3, Oct 22 2012
  

       'Bukkake' is something disgusting from Japan, right ? We refuse to Google it until we are reassured.
8th of 7, Oct 22 2012
  

       It is indeed a practice that originated in Japan which I personally find repulsive, though apparently there are enough people interested in it to feed a thriving niche market in the porn industry. Shall I provide a link?
Alterother, Oct 22 2012
  

       ^^rest assured it is indeed something disgusting from Japan.
FlyingToaster, Oct 22 2012
  

       No link necessary AT.   

       8, you can Google it if you want to see it as long as you remember you won't be able to un-see it.   

       You've been warned.   

       Let's put it this way, I can see why this poor woman has nightmares about it. Not that it's anything she needs to worry about.
doctorremulac3, Oct 22 2012
  

       // you won't be able to un-see it //   

       Thankyou; we will not be deploying any search engines with that particularly textual argument. We have no requirement to be further informed of the bizarre behaviour of the inhabitants of the landmass referred to by your species as "Japan".
8th of 7, Oct 22 2012
  

       When you're Jewish you have to live with a few extra ones that are usually quite dangerous if you wear a yarmulka in some places...   

       Jews aren't Jews but actually Khazars, Zionism is racism, Israelis are the new Nazis in their terrorist apartheid state, the Jews initiated both world wars, caused the Holocaust which never was, but should have been, downed the twin towers and own the pharma industry which deliberately spreads cancer and prevents its cure.
pashute, Jun 10 2017
  

       Thanks, [pash] , that's great, cleared up a lot of stuff that folk worry about. Presumably they do chemtrails and all the fake news too ?   

       Presumably they're in league with the Knights Templar is some bizarre way, too - it would explain a lot.   

       Nice job with brainwashing all those alleged Nazi death camp survivors. The newsreel footage of all those British and American troops and senior officers alongside piles of emaciated corpses and skeletal survivors looks very convincing, almost real. Presumably you had some dirt on Joe Stalin to blackmail the Soviets into playing along ... or maybe Stalin was in on it all from the start ?
8th of 7, Jun 10 2017
  

       //When you're Jewish you have to live with a few extra ones // Yeah, but you do get to tell some great jokes.   

       I think the tinfoil rating has to be moderated according to your level of education, and possibly level of intelligence. If you're uneducated and/or not particularly intelligent, lots of things can seem perfectly reasonable that other people can immediately dismiss by the application of knowledge and/or reason.   

       For instance, homeopathy sounds quite reasonable unless you understand at least a little about molecules and atoms.   

       Oh, and it's Loch Ness. A monster that lived in a lock would be fairly easy to find.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 10 2017
  

       Nessiteras rhombopteryx?
Ian Tindale, Jun 10 2017
  

       Gesundheit.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 10 2017
  

       //Loch Ness//   

       Fixed.
doctorremulac3, Jun 10 2017
  

       //Nessiteras rhombopteryx//   

       Ah. I remember that one. It's an anagram of of "monster hoax by [someone]". I'm not sure whether a joke counts as a conspiracy.   

       It's a very clever joke except that, if you were making a bona fide attempt to render "Ness Monster" into Greek, it would probably come out as "Nessoteras". However, it's not unusual for people adding names to the Linnaean taxonomy to jumble Latin and Greek elements, and "i" is more common as a linking element in Latin - so its only a small stretch - especially by conspiracy theory standards.
pertinax, Jun 10 2017
  

       Oh, and [8th], I don't think the "O" of "VOC" is lower-case; it doesn't stand for "of", you know.
pertinax, Jun 10 2017
  

       We knew that. Fixed...   

       Something to do with the autocomplete algorithm... or maybe it's a conspiracy...
8th of 7, Jun 10 2017
  

       // It's an anagram of of "monster hoax by [someone]"//   

       "Monster hoax by Sir Peter S.", the "S" being "Scott".
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 11 2017
  

       What if you believe in a sort of meta-conspiracy theory? - e.g. you believe that all conspiracy theories (Loch Ness, Area 51, chemtrails, etc.) are false and are invented by the government to distract the population from what's *really* going on.
hippo, Jun 12 2017
  

       Great minds work alike. I was thinking the same thing. Conspiracy theorists are _so_ unshakeable, _so_ irrational and are willing to believe _so_ many different whacko things that perhaps they are just government agents placed to distract us all.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 12 2017
  

       Or maybe it's a double-bluff? The government would like you to believe that the Area 51 conspiracy is just a fabrication invented by them to distract you, as this lulls you into thinking that the Area 51 conspiracy is false.
hippo, Jun 12 2017
  

       Meanwhile, in Area 52 ...   

       The main thing that militates against most conspiracy theories is that governments are, by and large, utterly incompetent.   

       Military forces keep secrets by means of firm discipline, loyalty to the unit, and the sanctions available (including summary execution in time of war).   

       Religious organizations rely on faith and the fear of post-death retribution.   

       But governments are mostly composed of heterogeneous individuals with no great buy-in to the "cause", other than that week's paycheck. Not surprisingly, they bungle things, leak information like sieves, and react like lightly-chilled treacle.   

       Of course, they're always keen to hide their cockups, but that's a different thing. Cover-ups are standard procedure. But the sort of highly motivated and disciplined people you need to run a decent conspiracy are generally too busy making money in private enterprise to bother with bureaucracy. Besides, in a bureaucracy, these people are usually seen as "difficult", "disruptive", and worst of all "not team players". And they love paperwork, whereas the secret of a good conspiracy is to write down as little as possible.   

       It might actually be reassuring if the government was competent enough to run a conspiracy... sadly, they aren't.
8th of 7, Jun 12 2017
  

       This reminds me of a conversation I once had with a Russian in the immediate aftermath of the collapse of the Soviet Union. Regarding those large areas of the country which had been off-limits to foreign visitors, he confided "The secret is, there is no secret."
pertinax, Jun 12 2017
  

       // It might actually be reassuring if the government was competent enough to run a conspiracy... sadly, they aren't. //   

       Yes, two people can keep a secret only if one of them is dead.
So... I guess it's come full circle to aliens running the show then?
  

       The latest joyous development is the resurgence of "Flat Earthers". I've said it before:   

       Unfortunately, stupidity can be cultivated and harvested as a profitable commodity.   

       And stupid people's votes are worth just as much as mine. If these people are dumb enough to believe that the Earth is flat, it would be fairly easy to sell them on some political party's plan to put a rainbow in every yard and a unicorn in every garage. As long as they're willing to give up all their money and civil rights, or much more likely, all MY money and MY civil rights.
doctorremulac3, Jun 12 2017
  

       // aliens running the show then? //   

       You wish. Why do you think things are in such a mess ?   

       You'd be better off with aliens running your planet, or better still synthetic intelligence.
8th of 7, Jun 12 2017
  

       //When you're Jewish you have to live with a few extra ones that are usually quite dangerous if you wear a yarmulka in some places..//   

       Oddly, the same sort of thing happens to Muslims living here.
RayfordSteele, Jun 12 2017
  

       If everyone would just go around naked, we'd soon forget who was Jewish and who wasn't.   

       No, wait a moment...
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 12 2017
  

       //And stupid people's votes are worth just as much as mine.//   

       If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it right? It's a con. It's like friggin American Idol on acid.   

       //You'd be better off with aliens running your planet, or better still synthetic intelligence//   

       Nope.   

       <reviews current crop of national leaders>   

       <notes that many were allegedly chosen by national populations>   

       <decides that humans deserve everything they get>
8th of 7, Jun 12 2017
  

       //If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it//   

       If that's the case, then why did "they" try so hard to prevent voting from being introduced?   

       Also, the fact that "they" spend so much money to buy elections (at least in the U.S, where there aren't laws against this) indicates that elections are valuable.   

       Also again, by most definitions of "they", "they" didn't want either Brexit or Trump. So, there were two votes that made a difference. Not a good difference necessarily, but a difference.   

       Come on, [2 fries], you can do better than this elderly canard.
pertinax, Jun 13 2017
  

       //"they" didn't want either Brexit or Trump// And "they" didn't want May to lose her majority. The last few elections and referenda in both the US and the UK have all involved the people sticking two (or one in the US) finger(s) up at "them" and giving "them" a result which "they" didn't like.   

       [2fries], can I suggest some orange and ginger sauce to go with your canard? It comes in a tinfoil container that you could wash and use afterwards.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 13 2017
  

       Yes, very nice ... do you have any of that lovely vintage Premier Cru Beaune you served at the Walpurgisnacht banquet ? That went very well with the roast Stork, and what whas the other thing ? Long Pig, was it ? Very nice, that was. Very tasty, very sweet.   

       Get yourself a few cases of Beaune, [2fries]. Even if you don't really enjoy the duck, you won't really care. And ask [MB] to get the Long Pig in lemon and five-spice sauce off Sturton for you.   

       And those tinfoil containers are a much thicker grade of metal than regular domestic-grade cooking foil, well worth the investment.
8th of 7, Jun 13 2017
  

       I guess what I mean is, if you don't get to double check and make sure that your vote went where you put it... then how do you know for sure that your vote counted?   

       When I see things like Brexit and The Donald winning out, it makes me wonder just how much the game is rigged.   

       //five-spice sauce off Sturton// Was it put on him? Or does it just grow?
pocmloc, Jun 13 2017
  

       // it makes me wonder just how much the game is rigged.//   

       [2fries], there comes a point in life when it becomes easier to just understand the world as it is, rather than frittering yourself away on endless conspiracy theories. Governments are generally inept; voters are generally inept; shit happens; conspiracies invariably fail. Cope.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 13 2017
  

       //understand the world as it is, rather than frittering yourself away on endless conspiracy theories//   

       Wow you really don't know me at all.
Who's got time for frittering?
  

       Understanding the world as it is from a completely unbiased point of view is what has me convinced that we are governed by a bunch of self serving sociopaths playing the "Let's give ourselves raises and quintuple up on pensions while throwing tax-payer rights in the toilet" game.   

       That's not what I pay my servants for.   

       Had any luck finding a single thing I've lied to you about yet?
Let me give you a re-cap of some of the actual medical mystery lies I've supposedly told which should, in my opinion, fascinate any molecular biologist and be either simply disproven or worthy of a paper or two;
  

       -Hypermelatoninism, (puberty just before twenty)
-Male tetrachromat, (perfect hue recognition) without Klinefelters syndrome.
-Visual snow since birth, I see like I'm on acid 24/7... and I rock it.
-Full control of eustachian tubes allowing equalization of inner ear pressure at will.
-Duputren's contracture in both hands bypassing index fingers and affecting thumbs, (not possible, no prior cases), and being reabsorbed by my body, (also not possible, no prior cases).
  

       I'm sure that there are more alleged lies that I've told but those should certainly be enough to allow you to pick a few and get started proving your claims about me.   

       Let me know when you are ready to put my lies to the test.
Until then stop flinging labels at me.
  

       I don't think you're a liar, [2 fries]. And I hope you won't think I'm a liar when I tell you I've been once or twice in the room where ballot boxes were being opened, votes counted and results announced, and there wasn't any cheating - plenty of vanity, folly and general Comédie humaine, but no actual cheating.
pertinax, Jun 14 2017
  

       //has me convinced that we are governed by a bunch of self serving sociopaths// Well, you're right about that. The problem is that they were all elected, or appointed by the people you elected.   

       //Had any luck finding a single thing I've lied to you about yet?// In that annotation, this page, or more generally?   

       // -Hypermelatoninism, (puberty just before twenty) -Male tetrachromat, ... -Visual snow ... -Full control of eustachian tubes ... -Duputren's contracture ...//   

       No problem with your having a range of interesting conditions. The tetrachromacy is false and untested, but the others could perfectly well be true. We can go round the loop a few more times for old times' sake, but probably not here on [doc]'s page.   

       //stop flinging labels// nah, I enjoy it. So do you, go on, admit it.   

       Incidentally, you do know that (a) "perfect hue recognition" is meaningless (651nm from 650.999998nm, maybe?) - perhaps you mean "very good" or "better than average"? and (b) tetrachromats don't have "perfect" hue recognition - they just have a wider gamut than trichromats and (c) there are about three or four factors at least, that can cause "very good" or "better than average" hue discrimination, apart from tetrachromacy. Most of them are fairly common, at least compared to tetrachromacy, and can occur in males as well as females. So remind me why you chose tetrachromacy, of all the available options? Is it that (i) you'd heard of it and it was rare and (ii) at the time, you didn't know it was only really an option in women?   

       I know a guy who is a professional wine taster, and has a sense of smell way, way better than anyone else I know. As far as I'm aware, he's never claimed to have an extra nose, but I'll ask him.   

       <edit> I just did a colour discrimination test online and came out at the top of the scale. The test is easy <link>, and I suspect it's a scam.<\edit>
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2017
  

       <unpeels sticky label from backing paper>   

       <flings label>   

       . . .   

       <starts trying to scrape sticky label off leg>   

       Explain again how you fling labels, please. The stiff card type can be thrown like a playing card, but bounce off. The sticky sort either flutter to the ground or stick to the thrower. Experiments with stiff card labels and glue have been ... unrewarding.   

       Is there some secret to this ?   

       <wanders off, flapping arm attempting to detach sticky card label from hand>
8th of 7, Jun 14 2017
  

       Is it true that the sticky labels on apples are edible?
Ian Tindale, Jun 14 2017
  

       If it's a french golden malicious, it's probably a lot more edible than the apple ...
8th of 7, Jun 14 2017
  

       According to the Online, they are edible. The stickers, that is; there is no word on french apples.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2017
  

       (of course, the ricin-based glue can be problematic)
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2017
  

       I heard you can make chips out of French apples, so that's a bonus.
bs0u0155, Jun 14 2017
  

       No no - if you try, you'll find them very off-putting. That's why they're called "pommes deterre" in french.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2017
  

       Well I'm going on rumours, obviously, but a deep fried Cox's Orange Pippin did not go well with gravy. Maybe the French get theirs from a different sauce.
bs0u0155, Jun 14 2017
  

       I don't think you're a liar [pertinax]. Good to know. Still... Trump getting in has to make you wonder.   

       //Had any luck finding a single thing I've lied to you about yet?//
// In that annotation, this page, or more generally?//
  

       Period.   

       //So remind me why you chose tetrachromacy, of all the available options?//   

       There are options?
That hue test you picked is shite. Try this one. [link] See if you can score zero within a few seconds.
  

       //stop flinging labels//
//nah, I enjoy it. So do you, go on, admit it.//
  

       No, I really really... like really don't. I've told you before, your attitude is what I've been up against my entire life, that instant prejudiced surety that I am lying.
Instead of helping me get to the bottom of these multiple unbelievable anomalies you can't take your fingers out of your ears and stop name-calling long enough to back your slander with facts.
  

       Just like every doctor, teacher, and authority figure I had growing up.
It makes me sick.
In case you hadn't noticed that string of letters behind your name and that lab coat tend to make people believe the words you say even when you talk out of your ass.
  

       My words don't do much to affect the lives of educated people.
The words of overly certain yet completely wrong educated people on the other hand have fucked up my life quite a bit. It's not easy being a freak of nature.
  

       You should be helping me instead of chasing me around the playground and poking me with a stick.
It's only fun for you.
  

       //Explain again how you fling labels, please.//   

       The hard part is getting them off the beer.   

       // Period. // Ah, OK. Well, we'll come back to this point when it's over.   

       //multiple unbelievable anomalies// Yep. One anomaly is interesting, two is surprising. Half a dozen plus Bigfoot is, as you pointed out, unbelievable. There is a single unified explanation that covers most of them, but you won't like it...   

       //Try this one. [link] // Well, I scored 2 (best possible score 0; worst 99), which just means I have "good" colour discrimination, and/or that my monitor is OK. A score of zero is listed as being "within range" for males of my age range.   

       My point, [2fries], is that even if you have better-than-average hue discrimination, you're not a tetrachromat, and you picked that option because it was weird and exotic, before I told you that it's only possible with two X-chromosomes.   

       As far as I can recall, there is not a single anomaly, strange experience, or weirdness that you *don't* claim to have or to have had - tetrachromacy, dowsing, meeting Bigfoot...perhaps you can remind me of the others. Your Halfbakery persona, at least, is heavily based on being both strangely gifted and strangely disadvantaged (both by your own anomalies and by the hostility of the world in general) at the same time. If it works for you (yes yes, tell me it doesn't) then fine, but I'm old enough not to have to be polite enough to nod along.   

       Did I ever mention that my house is out in the middle of nowhere? As a result, we're not on mains drainage. Instead, there's a 10ft diameter brick-lined, concrete-roofed chamber buried under the woods next to the house. We normally have it emptied every year or so, but it's now about 2 months overdue. Yet, surprisingly, it's still not as full of it as you are.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 15 2017
  

       See?   

       You get to be overly certain without proof.
I get to bang my head against your brick shit-house. Welcome to my life.
  

       I don't have a 'halfbakery persona' Paul. I'm just me in real life and on-line, but strangely gifted and strangely disadvantaged is a very good way to put it.
Every gift can be a curse and vice versa.
  

       I didn't 'pick' the word tetrachromia. I don't know another word for perfect hue recognition.   

       //One anomaly is interesting, two is surprising. Half a dozen plus Bigfoot is, as you pointed out, unbelievable. There is a single unified explanation that covers most of them, but you won't like it...//   

       Yeah I'm well aware of that label. It won't stick any more than the others have but you just go ahead and fling it without proof if that's what you feel you need to do.   

       Until then, what exactly would it take to convince you that my little stories aren't lies?
Hypnosis? Sodium Pentathol? Torture?
What?
Because I'm getting the vibe that, not only are you starting to question the surety of my falseness... you're absolutely terrified that my words might be proven to be true... and I already know that they are, so that just leaves me wondering what the words of little-old-uneducated me could possible do to cause such fear and irrational response from such a rational fellow.
  

       You sure that brick shit-house of yours is strong enough?   

       Yes thanks. Been OK since 1820. Anyway, thanks for reminding me to get the shit pumped out of it.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 15 2017
  

       mm hmm   

       //not only are you starting to question the surety of my falseness// You may have mis-read me. I'd wager every penny I have on your falseness.   

       //absolutely terrified that my words might be proven to be true// Oh puh-lease. I'm more worried that you'll give up this game and deprive me of my fun.   

       If you'd rather take this up by email, my address is, I believe, known to you.   

       //I don't know another word for perfect hue recognition. // Well, don't use words you don't understand, then.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 15 2017
  

       I'll tell you what, [2fries]. You keep saying I should be helping you. So I will. Here's how:   

       (1) Put 1-2 drops of blood onto a clean (NEW, preferably from the middle of the pack) piece of paper. White blotting paper would be better, as would a coffee filter, but ordinary paper will be OK. Let it dry completely.   

       (2) Mail it in an envelope to: Dr. P H Dear, Mote Research Limited, Babraham Research Campus, Cambridge CB22 3AT, UK. Airmail would be great, but it'll be OK by regular mail.   

       (3) I will personally extract DNA and run the PCRs and send the amplicons for sequencing if needs be, to determine whether you are a tetrachromat. As a freebie, I'll test you for a Y-chromosome.   

       (4) I will let you know the result. If I know the sample's on its way, it'll take maybe 3-5 days from when I get it.   

       Now, would that be considered helpful? I dare you. In fact, I //double dog dare you//.   

       Or will this be the second occasion on which you're not actually willing to have your bluff called?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 15 2017
  

         

       Really? Thank you.   

       What's another word for perfect hue recognition in a male?...y'know since I already know I don't have Klinefelters.   

       Done.
I'll mail it in the morning.
Middle sheet from a new unopened pack of coffee filters and sandwich bagged within seconds of smearing.
  

       On a side note, is it normal to have a newly opened wound to clot before you can press it to the paper? Because I had to stick myself with a fileting knife three times to get enough. (I hope it's enough) I cut myself a lot at work and I stop bleeding within seconds.
I've always kind of prided myself on it... but is that a symptom of something bad?
  

       Seriously. I've accidentally sliced myself to the bone several times in the past and watched the blood stop welling while I'm walking to the truck for some napkins. That, and the fact that I can grout for about a week straight without gloves and not spring a leak, when every apprentice I've ever had can't last an afternoon grouting without gloves and not have their skin being eaten away has me wondering.   

       No bluff.   

       Personally, I find it rather pointless trying to have a rational discussion with two types of people:   

       1. Those that smugly insist on believing things (such as some particular conspiracy) in the absence of supporting evidence or even in the face of contradictory evidence, and   

       2. Those that smugly dismiss people as "conspiracy theorists" and reject what they say without doing the hard work of carefully investigating and weighing the evidence (if any) for themselves.   

       Anyway, I'd rate myself at about 1 layer. I have problems believing *any* supposedly official story, but I don't usually claim to know what actually happened. My only remaining concern is, shiny side in or out?
spidermother, Jun 15 2017
  

       I'd guess a 1.5, but I'll sign up as 2 so I can get foil thick enough the grounding strap doesn't tear it.
FlyingToaster, Jun 15 2017
  

       Everything you know wasn't true.
Ian Tindale, Jun 15 2017
  

       One of the most common and terrifying conspiracy theories is the one about there being such a thing as "the government".   

       "But Daddy, there IS a Government! I saw it! It brings us roads, and makes us free, and makes a list of who's naughty and nice, and stops us all from murdering each other all the time, and ..."   

       "No, son. What you saw was people. Sometimes, grownups tell children stories to make them do things - like obeying laws and paying taxes. But when we grow up, we start thinking for ourselves. And that's why the grownups that the children call "government" have to buy millions of rounds of hollow-point ammunition - to shoot the children that think for themselves, and might stop obeying and paying taxes."   

       "But *why* do the grownups called government tell us stories and boss us about and shoot us if we disobey them?"   

       "Because they love us."
spidermother, Jun 15 2017
  

       //What's another word for perfect hue recognition in a male?// There isn't one, because "perfect" hue recognition would be meaningless. Hue is a continuous variable. What you appear to have is "good" hue recognition. People (aside from those with clear colour blindness) vary considerably in their ability to discriminate between similar hues.   

       //is it normal to have a newly opened wound to clot before you can press it to the paper? // Well well well well, another anomaly. I think it just means that you're due to get deep vein thromboses or strokes, but it's not really my field.   

       //Done// Good.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       That would make sense. My grandfather died of a stroke fairly early. He was an inventor in the family too. I wonder if there is a correlation between creativity and pressure on certain areas of the brain.
I hope you find something. It would be nice to get a bit of credit.
  

       Hey, I just noticed, your initials are PHD.   

       // I wonder if there is a correlation between creativity and pressure on certain areas of the brain.// I don't know, but if I can find a baseball bat I can help you find out.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       After all you've done for me, I wouldn't dream of imposing.   

       What weirdnesses will your dna testing be able to determine anyway?   

       Turns out after a bit more research that it is not possible to test for tetrachromacy using a computer screen so scoring zero over and over again on that hue test does not determine a forth cone in the eye. There is only one woman on the planet confirmed to be a tetrachromat.
It's that rare.
  

       Oh for fuck's sake, [2fries]. That is what I've been telling you for the last god knows how long while you've been blathering away like a moron saying "I'm a tetrachromat! I'm a tetrachromat!".   

       From your DNA I can tell how many different opsin genes you have. You will have three, just like Ernest Rutherford, Luke Slywalker and me. But since it will make you happier I will do the work and pay for the sequencing and announce the results here, which is probably illegal but who actually cares. You may also care to note that most women, who are not tetrachromats, also have greater hue discrimination than most men. It's just a feature of the female brain.   

       I could also test for the presence of radioactive spider DNA if that will forestall more nonsense further down the line.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       I'd suspect you simply have low blood pressure or high cholesterol if you don't bleed that much, or perhaps don't drink enough water?   

       Now Max, make sure you absolutely do not take advantage of 2fries and lead him to believe that he has a rare condition or is predisposed to have a rare condition of fragile t-cells or recommend that he see a genetic counselor based on suspicions of genetic electromagnetic hypersensitivity or somesuch, or lead him to believe that he is completely disappointingly normal when he in fact has a rare complication of Gleifenburg's Syndrome. Because that would be unethical...
RayfordSteele, Jun 16 2017
  

       tetrachromacy isn't that cool anyhow. The human version*, is a sort of 5nm shift in one pigment. There's no evidence it partitions to individual cells, and no evidence that even if it did, the spectral difference between the two pigments would be enough for the eye to consider wiring up a whole extra channel. At best its a sort of wobble factor in red sensitivity. It doesn't extend the range, it might just put a hump in the red sensitivity spectrum, which, if working, might be nice if you really like looking at orange stuff.   

       What you can do, I suppose, is get replacement lenses which don't block UV. Then the world outside would be a lot brighter, ans some stuff might get a bit of a blue-ish hue. Also, we can see infra red via a 2-photon mechanism, if it's bright enough <link>.   

       But all the cool stuff with vision is in the processing hardware and software. And the scanning technology. That's all pretty cool, and you can modify that with practice.   

       *as far as I can tell from a couple of papers with a poor understanding of statistics and a desperate need for better quality optical equipment. The two pigments are supposed to be a perfect Gaussian overlay 4-5nm apart. A much better experiment would involve simulating Curve A with Curve B + the intensity correction derived from the curve overlays. Then do a "which is brightest" kind of thing with 1nm bands.
bs0u0155, Jun 16 2017
  

       //that would be unethical...// As if I would, [Rayfo]. No, I'll tell him how many different opsin genes he has. Of course, what I actually test his DNA for after that is another matter...   

       Actually, it would be a doddle to use CRISPR (or, dare I mention it, Mote's own and far superior genome editing tool) to stick an engineered opsin gene into retinal cells, with a radically different spectral response - peaking at say 480nm to fill that gap. You'd probably only hit a small subset of cone cells, so you'd retain the other three opsins. I wonder if the brain would rewire to use the additional colour channel?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       //480nm// screw that, I want IR deep enough I can tell if the coffee needs nuking.
FlyingToaster, Jun 16 2017
  

       Luxvid Eyes (Jensen Wide-Angle) are what you want.   

       // It's just a feature of the female brain. //   

       <pedantry>   

       It's actually a feature of the female eye ... but yes, the neurophysiology is important too. Females have a different mix of rods and cones, a different distribution of sensor cells, and the required processing neural circuitry.   

       Males have a high-density high-resolution centre field and relatively poor peripheral vision, tuned mainly to detect movement. Women have an even density of sensors, far superior hue duscrimination and peripheral vision, but notably poorer low-light sensetivity.   

       It's related to evolutionary pressures causing gender differentiation - men are configured more for hunting and chasing. This also leads to their greater temperature tolerance range, whereas females are predisposed to be comfortable in a narrow range of 18 to 22 C, the ideal environment for human infants.   

       </pedantry>   

       (NB all the above were engineered as a result of proto-hominids getting too close to the Black Slab. S'true, really, it is ...)
8th of 7, Jun 16 2017
  

       //Women have an even density of sensors, // No. Male and female eyes both have a high-res, cone-rich area called the fovea, and a much lower-res, cone-poor (but rod-rich) area outside that.   

       As to male/female differences in the eye itself, I haven't seen much to back that up - sources, [8th]? But, in any event, the point remains that colour sensitivity varies amongst normal people, largely due to neurological differences.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       // Oh for fuck's sake, [2fries]. That is what I've been telling you for the last god knows how long while you've been blathering away like a moron saying "I'm a tetrachromat! I'm a tetrachromat!".//   

       Yes, that sort of thing will tend to happen when one has one's education flushed down the toilet and is forced to rely entirely on the internet to gain knowledge.
In all fairness, perfect hue recognition of internet tests was only a very small portion of the things I've been blathering away like a moron about.
I wasn't educationally flushed because I see colors well, it's just another difference I've noticed between myself and everybody else I've ever met.
The older I get the more anomalies I stumble upon.
I could keep them to myself I guess, but how would that help kids with my... condition from getting put through the ringer like I was?
  

       Anyway that sample is on its way. I didn't have the sixty bucks on me that they wanted for express delivery with tracking so I don't know how long it will take to get there.
I don't want you to be out any money for this so, let me know what I owe and I will reimburse you.
  

       //forced to rely entirely on the internet to gain knowledge// Yes, if only the internet were bigger and covered more topics.   

       //I don't want you to be out any money for this// The cost is too small to worry about, but thanks.   

       //The older I get the more anomalies I stumble upon.// Ah, that'll be ataxia, possibly due to multiple mini-strokes in the cerebellum caused by your anomalous clotting.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       // sources, [8th]? //   

       Google would be your friend on that one. Lots of research, lots of published information.
8th of 7, Jun 16 2017
  

       Google gave me lots of information on perceptual differences, but not on physical differences between male and female eyes, other than pupil diameter. (Mascara doesn't count. Apparently it's fake, and applied with a brush.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       //Yes, if only the internet were bigger and covered more topics.//   

       It's not the number of topics but the amount of disinformation out there.
There are many tests for tetrachromacy on the net and yet not one of them are legit. It's not like I pulled that word out of my ass.
  

       We are so glad about that. We have no wish to know anything about any item that is expelled or extracted from your Lower Rear Orifice.   

       // not on physical differences between male and female eyes, other than pupil diameter. //   

       You need to google harder. You clearly lack aptitude in phrasing search terms. Try "eyes government conspiracy men cover-up women peripheral black ops space aliens vision rods cones greys neurological programming masons majestic 7 templars code secret gold perception mind control"   

       Let us know when you finish reading ...   

       // (Mascara doesn't count. Apparently it's fake, and applied with a brush.) //   

       That's just what They want you to believe ...
8th of 7, Jun 16 2017
  

       //It's not like I pulled that word out of my ass.// Well, yes it is. Tetrachromacy is very fashionable at the moment and, if it exists, is incredibly rare and limited to women. You didn't know it was limited to women, and didn't know the difference between tetrachromacy and hue discrimination. But it sounded cool, and so you went for it. So, in terms of anal extraction, I'd say that was a good example.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 16 2017
  

       Enough with the anal extraction already ... it's not yours, it's not big, and it's not clever. Leave it alone.   

       Well, it might be big. But it's not yours, and it's certainly not clever ... just leave it, alright ? Don't make us come over there ...
8th of 7, Jun 16 2017
  

       //You didn't know it was limited to women, and didn't know the difference between tetrachromacy and hue discrimination. But it sounded cool, and so you went for it.//   

       It is not limited to women, but yes I did not know the difference between tetrachromancy and hue recognition.
I had no idea how fashionable or cool it sounded.
  

       Tell me, is there a single halfbaker who can get a consistent score of zero on the test that I have linked?
If so, we'll easily know that it's no mean feat and if not then... well I don't know what, just another anomaly I suppose.
  

       What was it I was supposed to have "went for"?
Your derision?
The accolades of my peers?
Money maybe?
  

       Ah, attention.   

       Yes, perhaps... but not for lies, and not for myself.
It's just a little bit late for me. Now isn't it?
  

       I consistently get a score of 7 but I do poorly on those tests with the numbers and dots so....
LimpNotes, Jun 16 2017
  

       //getting too close to the Black Slab//   

       You really should have thought of that when you left it there, [8th].
pertinax, Jun 16 2017
  

       //rely entirely on the internet//   

       [2 fries] has a good point there. The internet is a knowledge-multiplier, not a knowledge-adder. If you start with zero, and multiply it by a googolplex, you still have zero.
pertinax, Jun 16 2017
  

       A knowledge multiplier, eh? I disagree. I think the internet is a knowledge diffuser, or (in the seed sowing sense) a broadcaster. It doesn't add or subtract or multiply or divide or even equal the knowledge in existence, but if you turn it upside down it does spell BOOBS. Books and libraries didn't alter the amount of knowledge, but they did allow the knowledge amount to be altered, through application of further processes such as study, going to libraries as a rewarding thing to do, going to schools ritually, competing in academia, etc. But all those processes sat on top of the library layer. Same with the internet. Other processes must sit on top of the internet to derive functions of the sum of knowledge. Human beings have reduced this to finding new pictures of funny looking kittens and now pugs, but I for one welcome our new robot overlords as they'll indubiously manage to run inferences across our island-like knowledge to derive new knowledges we didn't know we had, then turn around and teach it back to us.
Ian Tindale, Jun 17 2017
  

       An interesting test - I've never done this kind of colour vision test before but I just tried the test that [2 fries] linked. I didn't spend too long on it, but scored 0. I don't think this means anything except that I don't have any of the common types of colourblindness. In other respects my vision is not 100% (astigmatism, hyperopia (longsightedness), presbyopia...).
hippo, Jun 17 2017
  

       // You really should have thought of that when you left it there, [8th]. //   

       In hindsight, it was a mistake. But there were all these hairy grunting proto-hominids leaping around, pulling off door mirrors and windscreen wipers, pissing on the roof, screaming, hitting one another, throwing things, and crapping all over the place.   

       It was nearly as bad as Swindon.
8th of 7, Jun 17 2017
  

       I just scored 4 on the hue-sorting test. 20–29, male (demographic score range: -139636–120000930, obviously hacked).   

       // Turns out after a bit more research that it is not possible to test for tetrachromacy using a computer screen //   

       Yes, because computer screens are trichromatic. There are tetrachromatic LCD TVs, which add yellow, but if you ran that test on one of them, the test would still be using trichromatic hues, and the TV would just be interpolating them into its tetrachromatic color space, so it wouldn't work either.   

       The proper way, I think, might be to use two (ideally computer- or Arduino-controlled) monochromators to generate two pure colors and compare their perceived brightness, and thereby measure the overall (normalized) spectral response of your eye. But the standard trichromatic M and L cones are already very close, and a yellow cone (if that's what you have) would be right between them, so it would be difficult to discern.
notexactly, Jun 17 2017
  

       //I didn't spend too long on it, but scored 0.// Oh my god - another tetrachromat!!
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 17 2017
  

       //Oh my god - another tetrachromat!!//

<cough!> Pentachromat, I think you'll find...
hippo, Jun 17 2017
  

       [hippo] is there, by any chance, a mantis shrimp anywhere on the maternal side of your family?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 17 2017
  

       The colour test that [2fries] linked to is waaay too easy. I got a perfect score too.   

       I was ready to rant about computer display colour representation, but actually that test doesn't even come close to the limit. So I took the liberty of writing my own version of the test and made it a little bit more challenging.   

       See [link]. With my humble, myopic eyes I was able to score 85%. (You can keep reshuffling and recalculate the score as many times as you like, but that's cheating).   

       But even if you score 100% on this test, it doesn't mean you have 'perfect' hue recognition, it would be easy to write an even harder test.
mitxela, Jun 17 2017
  

       Also, as I mentioned a while ago, tetrachromacy would not necessarily give you better hue discrimination. What it would give you is a different (and possibly larger) gamut. In other words, you might be able to discriminate between (a) a mix of blue and yellow and (b) green, even though those two would be _identical_ for someone with "perfect" trichromatic hue discrimination who sees blue+yellow=green.   

       So, tetrachromacy would not give you better ability to discriminate the hues displayed by a monitor, as far as I can tell. If anything, your discrimination might be worse, since you've got (presumably) the same amount of visual cortex having to handle information from four channels, with one of those channels being redundant (when viewing a regular monitor).   

       Conversely, perhaps someone with red/green colour blindness could discriminate shades of other colours more precisely, as long as they fell within their colour gamut. And I suspect that people with achromatopsia (no cone cells, no colour discrimination) could discriminate more shades of grey than someone with normal colour vision - but that's just a guess.   

       [mix] - how about writing a test at the limits of display discrimination (ie, single-bit differences), over a few small ranges? "Perfect" hue discrimination ought to cope with that, assuming that the monitor doesn't completely throw away any bits.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 17 2017
  

       That's possible, but a single-bit change will affect intensity as well as hue, so I wasn't sure if it would still be a valid test. Currently each stripe is a rotation about the Y axis in the YIQ colour space (a change in hue, while keeping perceived brightness constant).
mitxela, Jun 17 2017
  

       Good point. I guess I meant a single bit substitution (eg, reduce red by one bit; increase green by one bit), but I'm not at all expert on colour spaces.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 17 2017
  

       They aren't equivalent. For example, in camera sensors, the Bayer arrangement is a quad of one blue one red two greens, which looks okay to us. On the other hand, we objectively perceive blues as darker than greens and perceive reds as brighter, given the same technical luminance of each.   

       Another thing to consider is that most mammals are not even trichromatic but dichromatic. Primates re-evolved trichromacy as a kind of special case. One theory among other competing ones (one which I quite like, but that doesn't make it the correct one, although I'd like it to be) is that as primates lost their overall hair and left increasing areas of bare skin expense (given that we didn't really lose hair, but lost the thickness of hair making it seem as though there's no hair there) we found that it was operationally useful in higher-order social situations to have a bit of an extra 'clue' as to what was on the other primate's minds, which we found we could do if we were able to be tuned to almost imperceptible skin colour flushes. These skin colour changes are pretty much beneath our conscious discrimination, but (the theory goes) are actually not only detectable but actionable by changing our behaviour accordingly to gain value from knowing the emotional circumstances in play in the other person.
Ian Tindale, Jun 17 2017
  

       How does that play out with humans from equatorial regions who have (after evolving into a semi-hairless phenotype) developed intense melanin pigmentation as protection against excessive UV dose ?   

       Received wisdom is that human ancestors developed in the region of the East African Rift Valley. Many contemporary humans in this region exhibit notably dark skin which would most likely mask any subcutaneous capillary dilation. And how is this discriminated from a simple need for increased cooling by higher surface blood flow ?
8th of 7, Jun 17 2017
  

       (eagerly awaiting other people to post their scores on my colour test...)
mitxela, Jun 18 2017
  

       I got 88%, with my time determined by the speed of my mousework rather than my eyesight. It varied somewhat across the spectrum.   

       I also noticed that, if I looked with uncorrected eyesight (making the rectangles a bit fuzzy), I could easily improve my score.   

       [2fries], of course, will have scored 100% and perhaps even met Bigfoot whilst doing the test.   

       Incidentally, [mixt], how is the score calculated? For instance, is it just the percentage of squares in the right position? Or does it allow also for the wrongness of mistakes (eg, misplacing a square by 1 position is less serious than misplacing it by 3 positions)?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 18 2017
  

       Score uses the Levenshtein distance, which is essentially the number of moves needed to switch between the current state and the perfectly correct one. This is probably what the other test was doing too, but I expressed it as a percentage because having zero mean perfect seems silly.   

       So you can still get 90% if they're all in the correct order but just one is in completely the wrong place, but... the important thing is you can only get 100% if every position is perfect.
mitxela, Jun 18 2017
  

       I got an overall score of 60.6% on your test. It took me about ten minutes, during which I had to look away and rest my eyes briefly several times. Score breakdown: 70%, 40%, 65%, 60%, 50%, 80%, 60%, 60%
notexactly, Jun 18 2017
  

       mitxela,- I can't make any of the colour squares move at all. If they're drag and drop, I can't initiate a drag at all - I press on the square but it won't move or drag.
Ian Tindale, Jun 18 2017
  

       [IT] is presumably using a touchscreen, which might be relevant.
notexactly, Jun 18 2017
  

       I missed 4, presumably by an offset of one.
RayfordSteele, Jun 19 2017
  

       Now That is a hue test. Holy retinal burnout batman.   

       First time I tried it just after work in the daylight.
Bad idea. Any ambient or reflected light messes up the middle rows, (for me) and so although I scored 90% on the first row and 100% on the last row my score was 67.9%
So I tried it at night and had Windows install an update while I was in the bathroom, and then blue-screen-of-death when I tried it again... I really need a new computer.
  

       A few things;   

       -With the original test I linked, I could burn through it before my color receptors would get overloaded.
With this test the overlapping after images really went psychedelic quickly.
  

       - Monitor matters a lot.
On my screen with no background reflections I score
80%
45%
90%
90%
50%
65%
100%
70% for a score of 73.8%
  

       On my wife's laptop I score:
100%
80%
90%
100%
35%
70%
100%
100%
  

       for a total of 84.4%.   

       Apparently I don't see mid-range blue hues worth a shit on one screen and not the other.
huh... interesting. Thanks for that.
  

       Well done.   

       So [2fries], just out interest, what was it that led you to believe you had "perfect" hue recognition? I'm asking genuinely, because errors are interesting and informative.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 20 2017
  

       um, scoring zero every time I took that first test, and one other tetrachromat test on the net where you counted the number of hues you could see and supposedly seeing between 29 and 37 hues on the strip meant that you were one.   

       //Another thing to consider is that most mammals are not even trichromatic but dichromatic. Primates re-evolved trichromacy as a kind of special case.//   

       According to Wikipedia;
Tetrachromacy is demonstrated among several species of birds, fish, amphibians, reptiles, insects and some mammals.[2][3] It was the normal condition of most mammals in the past; a genetic change made the majority of species of this class eventually lose two of their four cones.
  

       I wonder what caused the reduction to two cones in the first place for us to be re-evolving them?
...and how many hues Sasquatches see?
  

       White. All Sasquatches see is white. And maybe some yellow as an avoidance precaution.
RayfordSteele, Jun 20 2017
  

       Well now that's just racist.   

       //scoring zero every time I took that first test, and one other tetrachromat test on the net //   

       Damn. That was certainly strong and compelling evidence. I can see how anyone with a total lack of comprehension of the relevant issues could be easily fooled.   

       I found another deeply authentic, fully legitimate test that you might want to consider taking. <link>
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 20 2017
  

       <overstrike>racist</os> snowist. Nothing but snow to see. And some ice.
RayfordSteele, Jun 20 2017
  

       Our understanding is that the sasquatch or bigfoot is found in the temperate coniferous forests of the North-Western USA and Western Canada.   

       There are certainly large, hairy, uncommunicative bipeds in the mountainous portions of British Columbia.
8th of 7, Jun 20 2017
  

       //large, hairy, uncommunicative bipeds in the mountainous portions of British Columbia//   

       My cousin Shane is not hairy, it's an easy mistake to make. When one wears plaid shirts with such fervent consistency, the skin sort of adopts the first one or two layers and of uses it as an encouraging scaffold. This is why burn units in the area tend to have a hotline set up to both LL Bean and Carhartt.
bs0u0155, Jun 20 2017
  

       // My cousin Shane is not hairy //   

       Thus by exclusion we deduce that Shane is large, uncommunicative, and bipedal.   

       May we be bold enough to suggest that you email an image of Shane to [2fries] along with the question "Is this anything like what you think you saw ?"
8th of 7, Jun 20 2017
  

       Best I could score on the harder test is a composite of 95% after giving up searching.
RayfordSteele, Jun 20 2017
  

       // Damn. That was certainly strong and compelling evidence. I can see how anyone with a total lack of comprehension of the relevant issues could be easily fooled. //   

       Right??? There are just SO many tests to take to measure human perception! Almost like it's taught at an early age and encouraged for people to be able to compare...
Since, to the extent that tests were available, I aced them, for a while there I had no way to determine otherwise did I?
I'm glad you were here to tell me the difference between hue recognition and tetrachromacy, keep me from making a fool of myself and not saying I told you so after.
Good on ya.
So sad that us uneducated riff/raff have to wade into the fray and get all messy in order to learn isn't it?
There should be a government agency or somesuch to find just such bullshit on the net and eradicate it so that I am not forced to stumble on it and be, in effect, doing their jobs for them, shouldn't there?
I bet you that if there is such an agency, their employees have gotten at least one raise in the last decade and yet I see none of them randomly doing my job for me...
Strange no?
  

       Why isn't is Quadchromatic anyway?, so that the word makes sense? What's with Tetra as the root when the only definition for that word is a Siamese fighting fish?
Do they have four cones in their eyes?
  

       //Our understanding is that the sasquatch or bigfoot is found in the temperate coniferous forests of the North-Western USA and Western Canada.//   

       Yep. Right in and around Nelson and Castlegar B.C. is where they scared the shit out of me, my brother and Echo my border collie, (God rest her soul) for two nights in a row.
I wanted to recreate the trip with some motion camera night vision equipment. Same time of year, same place, same dog, same tent, same smell, but they declared the abandoned copper mine/cave system a frigging bat sanctuary and gated off all of the entrances.
  

       Bloody shame that. Never saw one though.   

       Ooh, by the way... about the expanded hue test. I stumbled on a cheat that would let people only able to see in shades of grey to be able to score a decent percentage and fake being able to see colour on my last go 'round.   

       I betcha [mitxela] already knows what it is.
Anybody else?
  

       Simply solder a quick R-2R resistor ladder circuit across the RGB input channels at the board level on the TFT row driver circuits, to average out the chrominance?
Ian Tindale, Jun 20 2017
  

       //What's with Tetra as the root ... ?// - "Tetra-" is the prefix meaning "four", from the ancient Greek word for four - as in 'tetrahedron' - a 4-sided triangular pyramid. "Chroma" also comes from Greek - in this case the Greek word for 'colour'. It's generally considered good form for the prefix to come from the same language as the word itself (so 'tetra' and 'chroma' both come from Greek). If we constructed a word like "quadchromatic" this would be a ghastly mix of Latin ("quad", meaning four) and Greek, not unlike the made-up chimera-word "television", from the Greek "tele-", meaning "at a distance", and the Latin verb "visere" meaning "to see".
hippo, Jun 20 2017
  

       Ah, thanks. Ok, that makes sense. The only 'tetra'' I know is a brand name of juice box.   

       Probably make by the Tetra Pak company. I think their name derives from the vaguely tetrahedral-pyramid shape of some of their drink cartons, so there is a link even in your juice box between 'tetra' and the number four.
hippo, Jun 21 2017
  

       So, Latin for anatomy, Greek for math and keep'm separate. Got it.
<note to self; learn Latin and Greek>
  

       //Simply solder a quick R-2R resistor ladder circuit across the RGB input channels at the board level on the TFT row driver circuits, to average out the chrominance?//   

       Yes!
or... you could just accidentally tip your screen back far enough that the colours fade to black sequentially for each darker shade.
When you get 100% there is just a thin hue gradient 'wave' along the base of each row which is thickest in the center and tapering to either side.
  

       Tetra-Pak made the packaging (or possibly the machine that made the packaging) for Lolas*.   

       * - For the culturally challenged, a Lola was a wildly popular (during the summer) 6-7" equilateral tetrahedron of paper/aluminium-foil-lined packaging, containing a massive solid wedge of flavoured ice (and there's not one image on the 'net to show, more's the pity).   

       (and being so good, of course they went out of business, the name was bought up, and now "Lolas" are less than a quarter the size they were, and it's not even a regular tetrahedron; progress my ass)
FlyingToaster, Jun 21 2017
  

       //keep me from making a fool of myself // Damn. Missed it by _that_ much.   

       //us uneducated riff/raff// I know many uneducated people. They form a spectrum from those who are uneducated but thoughtful, right through to those who are just uneducated. Equally, of course, plenty of educated people are unthoughtful. And of course there are those who are uneducated and incredibly proud of it.   

       //for two nights in a row.// So it's two nights now? It's a good job that everyone knows what noises Bigfoot make, otherwise it would have been difficult to make a definite identification, in the absence of actually seeing them. It's a tragedy of a missed opportunity, since you could have told us exactly what colour their fur was.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 21 2017
  

       Aren't Greek and Latin the same thing?
Ian Tindale, Jun 21 2017
  

       They both derive from an earlier Indo-European proto-language, yes.
hippo, Jun 21 2017
  

       Everything is the same.
pocmloc, Jun 21 2017
  

       I beg to differ.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 21 2017
  

       Get down on your knees then, and bend over. You've been naughty; time for Strict Schoolmistress to punish Naughty Boys ...   

       // Simply solder a quick R-2R resistor ladder circuit across the RGB input channels at the board level on the TFT row driver circuits, //   

       ... using 0104 SMD resistors ? That's a damned good trick on a contemporary surface-mount LCD driver board ...   

       // I know many uneducated people. They form a spectrum from those who are uneducated but thoughtful, right through to those who are just uneducated. //   

       Everyone's sick and tired of hearing about your family. Enough, already!   

       // Equally, of course, plenty of educated people are unthoughtful. //   

       That's how socialist governments get elected.   

       // And of course there are those who are uneducated and incredibly proud of it.   

       That's how socialist governments get elected.   

       // It's a good job that everyone knows what noises Bigfoot make, otherwise it would have been difficult to make a definite identification, in the absence of actually seeing them. //   

       Incoherent low-pitched grunts. Then again, it could just be Canucks. It usually is.   

       //It's a tragedy of a missed opportunity, since you could have told us exactly what colour their fur was. //   

       It's not fur, it's hair. A sort of dark red-brown colour, covering the entire body, including the face and the palms of your hands.   

       Like your niece Yersinia, but better looking and with a less repulsive body odour.
8th of 7, Jun 21 2017
  

       //Strict Schoolmistress// [8th], you appear to be confusing me with the Intercalary, or possibly with Sturton when he is very, very drunk.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 21 2017
  

       Well, apart from the tattoos, the scars, and the differences in size, number, and position of major limbs, it can be kind of hard to tell you apart.   

       Particularly when running for the hills with hands over ears, screaming "LALALALALALA" to try and blot out the memories ...
8th of 7, Jun 21 2017
  

       //And of course there are those who are uneducated and incredibly proud of it.//   

       Not proud of it myself, just not ashamed that I was filtered. You get what you filter for.   

       //for two nights in a row.//
//So it's two nights now? //
  

       Not just now, it was always a two night thing because that's how many nights we camped there. My little stories don't change. Look it up.   

       //It's a good job that everyone knows what noises Bigfoot make, otherwise it would have been difficult to make a definite identification, in the absence of actually seeing them. It's a tragedy of a missed opportunity, since you could have told us exactly what colour their fur was.//   

       The noises made were boulders being moved and groves of trees being bent over and uprooted. All I got to see were new foot prints the next two mornings, and a shaking border collie that wouldn't leave the tent for either night. I've seen that dog chase off bear and moose and it was the only time in her life I'd seen her shake and whine... or want anything to do with the inside of a tent.   

       Wish you'd been there. Groves of trees snapping in the pitch black of night outside our nylon walls, rocks cracking, dog whimpering all night... good times, good times.   

       Totally serious about the sodium pentothal or hypnosis by the way. I draw the line at torture of course, I've about had my share of that, but would truth serum do it for you?
If I passed a lie detector test would you still bust my balls about daring to mention the damn Sasquatches?
  

       It happened. I tell it like it is. Sue me if it damages you in some way.   

       // All I got to see were new foot prints the next two mornings// Ah - excellent! Can you link to the photos?   

       //If I passed a lie detector test would you still bust my balls about daring to mention the damn Sasquatches?// Not really. It would only distinguish between (a) you trying to fool us and (b) you fooling yourself.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017
  

       or (c) it happened.
No photos. I charge more for photos.
  

       Re Max's posted questionnaire.   

       //30. Do you have an inordinate fear of alien abduction that affects your everyday life?//   

       That would call for a 5 layer tinfoil hat and a straight jacket.   

       //14. If you are a female, have you experienced a gynecological problem that you think is related to your abduction/contact experiences?//   

       And the WRITER of that question needs the straight jacket.
doctorremulac3, Jun 22 2017
  

       //No photos. I charge more for photos.// That's a shame, isn't it? Still, ne'mind eh.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017
  

       That's hardly grounds for criticism; after all, the young ladies you hire as, er ... "entertainers" (we use the word advisedly) at your parties also charge extra for pictures.   

       They're good quality though - very professional. As are the photos.
8th of 7, Jun 22 2017
  

       [8th] you fool - those were Sturton's bonobos. Next time please bring your spectacles. And if I find out there was any monkey business...
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017
  

       We have the best girls. And the best Sasquatches. And the best girl Sasquatches. And the best hair coverings taken from scalped Sasquatches. Dyed in traditional orange per our highest-volume customer's specs.
RayfordSteele, Jun 22 2017
  

       Ahhh, Hooters for hominids. Looks like you've struck paydirt there, [Ray] ...
8th of 7, Jun 22 2017
  

       //And the WRITER of that question needs the straight jacket//   

       Have form-fitted garments gone out of fashion, again ?
FlyingToaster, Jun 22 2017
  

       ////14. If you are a female, have you experienced a gynecological problem that you think is related to your abduction/contact experiences?//   

       Why only if you are a female? Did the writer never see Alien?   

       OK, I just filled in the questionnaire with 80% "Yes", and gave them my email address. I'm hoping that these people contact me, it's going to be a lot of fun. I just love whackos.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017
  

       //I just love whackos// So do they... also sp. "wackos".
FlyingToaster, Jun 22 2017
  

       Hmmm. The opinion of The Internet seems to be divided over which is the correct spelling. However, I do recall that there was a regular motor-racing fixture called "Wacky Races", so perhaps you are not entirely uncorrect.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017
  
      
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