h a l f b a k e r y
If you need to ask, you can't afford it.
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Amusement arcades used to have
machines against which you could pit
your
strength. I remember one in particular
that
had two metal bull horns that you had to
grip and force together, as a guage
registered your brute strength or
feebleness.
In keeping with this tradition, I have
devised
a new machine appropriately
called: Could You Resist The Hands of
The
Boston Strangler?
To use the machine you insert the
appropriate coin, then type in your
name,
affirming that you had read the dire
health
and safety warnings. You next set the
gripper gauge. This offers you a range of
grips and variations from puny, sweaty,
twisty, flabby, through to Full Thottle,
the
most severe and powerful of all.
Once activated a set of gloved hands
reach
out from inside the machine and grip the
contestants throat, who must resist as
long as they can, one of their hands
holding the
emergency handle, which stops the
machine the instant it is relaxed.
Dramatic
B movie music plays loudly; a light bulb
flickers and a horribly contorted face
lears
into yours as the mechanical hands
tighten their deadly grip.......
........ but the whole apparatus is actually
a
fake, and very little pressure is applied at
all, regardless of the setting, and
certainly
never enough to cause any harm or
unconsciousness.
After some theatrical fake choking and
gasping on the part of the competitor,
with their friends watching in a mixture
of
horror and excitement, the machine
gives
up, and the gloved hands relax.
A souvenir photograph is then printed
out
with your name and contorted face under
the headlines: "I Survived The Hands of
the
Boston Strangler !"
[link]
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The Boston Strangler squeezed this round bun into a croissant shape for you. [+] |
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Similar to an arcade electric chair I tried a few years ago. It was a big, imposing chair with sparking electrodes (in glass enclosures), a buzzing discharge sound and two 'electrode' handles that were really vibrators. As the noise got louder the vibration got more powerful. It was surprising how many people wimped out, sometimes as soon as the vibration started. |
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//but the whole apparatus is actually a fake// |
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My heart sank when I read this. Other than that, I like it. |
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It was brilliant until this bit:
//but the whole apparatus is actually a fake, and very little pressure is applied at all//
Fish for not seeing an excellent idea to properly half-baked conclusion. |
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Alternatively, bun for the one point that makes this whole idea feasible. [+] |
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Feasible? Come to your (non)senses David! There's no need for feasibility here, just a nice thick agreement to sign before playing. |
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//Fish for not seeing an excellent idea
to properly half-baked conclusion.// -
you cannot advocate folk being REALLY
strangled...(cruelty) see help menu. |
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I'm sorry to be forced to dilute the idea,
for those who are disappointed, but this
is only a small component of the overall
notion. You still get to fool all those
who watch, thinking you are half dead
at the hands of the dreaded strangler. |
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This inspires the plot of an episode of Columbo: |
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Needing money for gambling debts, a fairground operative takes the place of the mechanical hands and strangles his richer, more successful and more outgoing brother. |
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At first it looks like mechanical failure. |
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But Columbo is onto him straight away, and manoeuvres the murderer to try and strangle Columbo in the same style. |
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Only Columbo is wearing a metal collar and gently handcuffs the man mid-strangle. |
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The show fades to the sound of merry-go-round music and a clown laughing manically. [+] |
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