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Crossing Stick
A strong hollow aluminium tube, 75cm long and 3cm diameter. | |
I must be the only pedestrian in London that actually presses the crossing button at a pedestrian crossing, and waits for the man to turn green before I make a move. The logic applied to the pedestrian crossing lights is so pedestrian-unfavouring that people don't even bother pressing the button, will
rarely take notice of the man being red, and will simply dart in and out of traffic as though they're going to somehow survive each time, every time. Fair enough, they can endanger their lives, I'm not about to.
However, the one spanner in the ointment remains - cyclists who cycle into my path (and in some cases, into me - to their detriment) as I then rightfully cross when the man is green.
This idea is for a simple accessory that I can either jam into the spokes of an intruding lawless clueless useless cyclists* wheel as they pass, or if the timing isn't quite right, thwack them across the teeth as they pass. The accessory can then be retrieved and used to impact upon the facial and cranial area enough times to put a stop to such erroneous and dangerous behaviour.
Available in a range of trendy colours, too (all of which go with red).
*(as distinct from the cyclists who do adhere to the highway code - presumably these must also exist)
Ian's collection of vintage Crossing Sticks
http://www.cubes2mo...images/MLB-249s.jpg
[skinflaps, Sep 02 2005]
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//thwack them across the teeth// I'm quite intrigued as to how you can hit across teeth. |
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I don't suffer from excess cyclists so can't fully empathise with your plight, but surely your solution is a bit drastic? Especially since the cyclists come off worse on impact anyway. |
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//the one spanner in the ointment remains//? |
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I'll slap you a bun if anything, just for that. |
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ps: I'm taking to the road on my bike soon and I know what you look like. |
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Being a proper Londoner, [Ian], I thought you were never without the requisite bumbershoot, which might be called a "Crossing Stick" if emulating John Steed. You resemble him in so many other regards. |
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And, as you know, the tip of the bumbershoot is also quite a useful tool when one wishes to press the pedestrian crossing button without wishing to soil one's gloves. |
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So, whether red, black, or a distinguished gray, the crossing stick bumbershoot is a fashion accessory that no well-appointed man-about-town can be without. Especially if you want to impress Emma Peel. |
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In size and material, it's a bit like a tent-pole, isn't it?
Regarding cyclists who adhere to the highway code; I have yet to see one. |
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Can this wonderous device also be used from a vehicle?? Perhaps being held out the window at the approximate height of a cyclists throat? |
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My girlfriend phoned me the other day at around about the Glasgow evening rush-hour time...
"I had to phone you - I knew you'd appreciate this..."
"Er.. ok - what?"
"Well, it's currently gridlock along Bath Street where everyone is trying to get on the motorway..."
"Yeah - nothing new there"
"Well, this cyclist was tearing along at a speed of knots and went through the crossroads without stopping"
"Bastard."
"Ah - wait. He thought he was fine because the traffic along the lane nearest motorway was full... but the police car that was parked by the less busy lane saw him go through the red..."
"Great! And!?"
"I could see the rage in the police drivers face - it virtually spoke 'Right - you're nicked!'. He flashed his lights and pulled the cyclist over and then huckled him into the car. I dunno what punishment he got but he left the car very sombrely"
"Superb. The bastard. If only the cops had taught him some nightstick-based Highway Code... Thanks - that's made my day"
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