Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

h a l f b a k e r y
Yeah, I wish it made more sense too.

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Crush Patches
i know, i know, i've got no romance in my soul
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
  [vote for,
against]


for all those obsessed friends who talk about nothing else but their latest crush and when they're next going to "accidently" bump into him/her.... having tried subtle hints, duct tape or ear plugs without success, these handy patches would release phenylalanine into the blood of the infatuated one - same happy feeling, no need to go hunting for crush object, dragging long-suffering friend with you ("so it doesn't look like i'm stalking him"). maybe the science/ethics of this is a bit wobbly. perhaps i need more duct tape.

realfake, Apr 21 2001

Useless Advice #1 http://members.theg...2/CRUSH/How-to.html
[egnor, Apr 21 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Useless Advice #2 http://www.askariel...ive/arielle.61.html
[egnor, Apr 21 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Useless Advice #3 http://www.salon.co...000/02/08/confused/
[egnor, Apr 21 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Useless Advice #4 http://www.thedaily....99/F2.crushes.html
[egnor, Apr 21 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]



Annotation:







       Got my vote. Go cold turkey on those Midnight Obsessions.

Dog Ed, Apr 21 2001
  

       More duct tape. Some to gag them and tie them hand and foot so they can't kick too much once you've caught them and put them in the boot (trunk) of your car, and then a lot more later so you can play out your most wonderful fantasy with them suspended from the ceiling.

UnaBubba, Apr 21 2001
  

       you misunderstand me...i'm the longsuffering friend, tape for her mouth/my ears so's i don't have to listen to her endlessly dissect everything he says... but i'll pass on the abduction thing, she'll like that...

realfake, Apr 22 2001
  

       Yup

thumbwax, Apr 22 2001
  

       Not sure if getting married would solve it. I had a crush on the woman I married which lasted until the day she died.

supercat, Apr 23 2001
  

       Dude, will you apologize for me?

reensure, Apr 23 2001
  

       UB! You party animal! (Just which part of the globe is farthest from you?)

wasraw, Apr 23 2001
  

       UB ... hi, I'm a Major Hollywood Studio Executive, and I think your idea sounds like the start of something really big. We'd like you to write a screenplay, we'll option it, and we're thinking maybe Brad Pitt and that girl from Destiny's Child as the leads. Call us, babe. Love ya, love your idea, can't wait to get our people together, ciao!

1percent, Apr 24 2001
  

       Uh, thanks 1%... sold the last one to Universal. Keanu Reeves, James Spader, Marisa Tomei. Shame the movie was nothing like my original screenplay. People might have _watched_ it.   

       wasraw, it's a spot in the North Atlantic, at 27' 5"N 27' W. You can go there if you really want. I've heard the occasional cod will visit now and then.

UnaBubba, Apr 24 2001
  

       I hope time eases your sorrow supercat.

thumbwax, Jun 06 2001
  


 
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