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My daughter, 4, has an amazing gift for language. In fact, it outstrips her facility for remembering things. Last night she was singing a nursery rhyme, that went something like:
"Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells,
Dashing through
the snow."
I got me to thinking that I've never heard of any simple synopses of nursery rhymes. e.g.:
The Owl and the Pussycat set to sea,
With a spoon and a stash of LSD.
Dogs are barking, I'm outta here,
It's the IRS, for me, I fear.
Willie Winkie's about, nasty little perve,
Close the curtains, it's what he deserves.
OK, maybe the examples I've given are a little cryptic and adult in meaning, but the original intent of nursery rhymes was usually political comment and satire.
Kids are a lot brighter than we give them credit for, and these rhymes regain their contemporary relevance.
hickory, dickory
http://www.oedilf.c...Quote=99597&Popup=1
[xandram, Jul 25 2006]
The Lore and Language of School Children
http://66.249.93.10...&gl=uk&ct=clnk&cd=1
Cached Google page. [DrBob, Jul 26 2006]
[link]
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I think this was baked during World War 1 & 2 |
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Mussolini bit his weinie, |
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another~
Underwear, Underwear,
How I itch in my woolen underwear, etc. |
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My neice has been coming up with some weird additions to old rhymes recently, the two I remember went along the lines of: |
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Horsey Horsey don't you stop
Just let your hooves go clippety clop
Your tail goes swish and your wheels go round
giddy up we're homeward bound.
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Baa baa black sheep have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
One for the master, and one for the fox, and one for the little boy that lives in the socks. |
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Other than just being quite odd and entertaining, it amazed me that at the age of little more than 2 years old she was able to choose words to rhyme. |
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I have a book at home of playground doggerel (although I'm sad to say it doesn't contain one particular rhyme I almost but can't quite remember in full). |
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Compile enough of these, and you could probably make a book out it too. And you could have your kids do the drawings. |
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The origins of nursery rhymes are fascinating. I particularly like: |
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Hark!, Hark!, the dogs do bark,
The beggars are coming to town,
Some in rags, some in bags,
And one in a velvet gown. |
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It dates back to around the 15th century, and the royal tax collector turning up to fleece the citizenry. |
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Humpty Dumpty fell and broke. The King ate his yolk. |
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You could go multimedia with an Andrew Dice Clay collection. Then the kids will be really worldly. |
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I heard ADC once. I think they'll learn that sort of thing soon enough, without my help. |
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i think that's probably a little too worldly
for kids. maybe just a bit? |
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So what's she added to "Horsey, horsey"? That's the version I learned. |
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Wow, turns out it wasn't as different as I thought - its been a long time since I had to recite it so I just assumed she had added wheels to the horse. |
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It's probably best to just ignore that one. |
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The wheels are on a cart (not explicitly mentioned in the rhyme), as far as I know. |
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There was a crooked man
Who lived a crooked life
Who foisted his perversions
Upon his crooked wife
He bought a crooked car
Whose boot began to smell
And he lived out his remaining days
In a crooked little cell. |
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Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn’t know where to find them
They were stolen last week
By a butchering freak
Who’ll kill them and skin them and grind them. |
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Oh yes. This is *much* more fun than working. |
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Simple Simon met a pie-man, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie-man; "What have you got there?". |
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"The scraps of lore which children learn from each other are at once more real, more immediately serviceable, and more vastly entertaining to them than anything which they learn from grown-ups."
from 'The Lore and Language of School Children' (linky). |
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This reminds me of 'The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse' by Robert Rankin, set in a city of fairytale and nursery-rhyme characters. One lesser-known nursery-rhyme character put his lack of fame down to the rhyme associated with him: |
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"Big Jack Black lived in a sack,
Lived in a sack, did he,
He dined on cripples,
And little boys' nipples,
Served upon toast for his tea." |
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He's a right one, that Robert Rankin. |
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In the simple synopses sense that seems to have got a bit lost: |
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Twinkle twinkle little star
How very far away you are
To fathom you I have no hope
I do not own a telescope |
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How I used to sing my 2 year old to sleep (perhaps she still has nightmares about it): |
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Jenny, Jenny, have you any poo?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three nappies full,
One for my Mummy, one for my dad,
And one for a little girl that's been very bad. |
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To 'I'm a little teapot': |
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I'm a little Jenny,
Short and sweet,
Here's my hands and here's my feet.
When I'm feeling hungry I like to eat,
and when I'm tired I like to sleep.
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I'm a stupid turtle,
Big and slow.
Here's my fingers and here's my toes.
When I want to poo, I have to go,
Through my shell and out the hole. |
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But she outclassed me with:
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
And the fish ran away with the tank. |
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Oh, we used to play this game at school. One of my favourites: |
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Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride,
Mmm-hmmm, Mmm-hmmm,
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride,
Mmm-hmmm, Mmm-hmmm,
Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride,
But he fell off his bike ('cause he was a frog), and tragically died,
Mmm-hmmm, Mm-hmmm, |
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Hickory, dickory, dock.
The mouse ran up the clock.
The maid chased it down,
And then with a frown,
She beat it against a block. |
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Three mice ran up the clock. |
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The other two escaped with minor injuries |
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It's fleece was brown as mud |
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For Mary had no toilet roll |
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And wool was just as good. |
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She put them on the windowsill |
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To see if they would fall off. |
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Its seam was split up high |
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And every where that Mary went |
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The boys could see her thigh |
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Its seam was split up front |
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But she never wore that one |
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These are great everyone. The ones I made up were usually so docile. |
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Bill Watterson's "A Nauseous Nocturne" would almost seem to fit, but not quite. |
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Who's heart was full of gold |
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But everywhere that bubba went |
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every list you do endorse |
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Can we please stop with the list? This is better suited to a forum like Multiply. |
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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was as white as snow,
One day the prices of meat soared and this did not please her,
Tonight she had a leg of lamb, the rest is in the freezer. |
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Having stock herself, why would Mary be displeased by an increase in the price of meat? Something fishy in that. |
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Mary had a little lamb, a little pork, a little ham... |
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Ring around the math teach
He liked a little ass reach
Married, married;
He knocked one up! |
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