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Dastardly Fussy Stereo

Playlist control for the meek.
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If you have guests, it’s good manners to let them select at least some of the music that’s playing. They’re limited in choice to what records you have but this, of itself, does not stop them making terrible choices; they may wish to hear that Señor Coconut album you bought ages ago, listened to once and then consigned to irrelevance, frinstance.

The problem lies in the fact that it is rude, dammit, to override the genuine musical choices of people you have invited into your home. To deal with this problem, comes Fussy Stereo Technologies. When rogue selection is made by your guest, discreetly press the “FST” button on your remote. This button activates a non-playing routine hard-coded into the stereo – the CD will either not be picked up or will play with unbearable skipping. At which point you say “Sorry, this stereo is fussy as hell about what it plays, try something else.”

Repeat until something “good” is selected. Perform a wheezy snicker like Mutley.
calum, Oct 02 2002

Señor Coconut http://www.senor-co...ex.php?article_id=3
for phundug and other philistines [calum, Jan 19 2007]

[link]






       More Ice-T anyone? Anyone?
thumbwax, Oct 02 2002
  

       Baked in a bar in the far north of Scotland; 'The Brass Tap' to be precise. Local's bar beneath the Tongue Hotel, in Tongue, Sutherland (a small village second only to Durness in its mainland north-westerlyness)   

       I mapped in this area, and during the 5 weeks of my mapping I spent quite a lot my evenings in one or the other of the two pubs in the village. Mostly the other one that was better suited to outsiders, (barely anyone looked up as you entered). I digress. In the 'Brass Tap’ there was a Juke box. On one of the rare evenings which I had been dragged along to the establishment by my mapping partner, (who was from Halifax, and hence favoured a rougher drinking venue) I attempted to interject the continuous stream of pop/disco shite that was spewing forth from the Juke box by selecting what was to my knowledge the only song with even an ounce of ROCK in the confounded thing's play list. This track was 'Paranoid' by Black Sabbath. I attempted this three times, each time returning to my seat and eagerly awaiting Ozzy's dulcet tones. But each time I was denied, with the selection preceding mine being seg-wayed into that following mine. Of course mentioning this to the Barperson was out of the question, but I had a distinct feeling that I was being watched each time I walked into the main part of the bar from the pool room in order to make my selection and that there was some general knowing looks and laughter that followed manipulation of controls below counter by said barperson.   

       The whole experiance left me with an overwelming desire to arrange to get a UK ozzfest set up in the field behind the pub. That'll learn'em.
Zircon, Oct 02 2002
  

       I like the idea of having a restricted play list for guests (the fussy part is icing [ice-t-ing?]).   

       An aside: I have a friend, a developer type (and a Brit) who has a home entertainment automation system of his own devising. It is complete with a Digital Persona fingerprint scanner used to identify the user prior to yielding control to that user. Which of his children get to have priority control over what is listened to, or watched, is governed by which child has had the best grade point average in the last trimester. It also has protections against the same song being played more than x times in a given time frame and a few other oddities.   

       It makes me laugh.
bristolz, Oct 02 2002
  

       This idea is brilliant! [Zircon], the exact same thing was happening to me in a pub in London. I confronted them about it and we found out that they have jukebox controls somewhere behind the bar. They can see what track's coming up next and skip it if they don't like it. I was mighty pissed off, especially seeing as they continued to do it even after we asked them nicely not to. So no-one go in the Camden Head in Islington OK?   

       I would like my FST stereo to not even close the tray when anything by "Everything but the Girl" goes in, but difficult to do obviously. Croissant.
sild, Oct 02 2002
  

       Zircon ands sild, that's happened to me, too, in the Glasgow University Union back in the days when they had a decent jukebox. I used to regularly have Stem/Long Stem by DJ Shadow (nine minutes of hammering drums, movie dialogue, twitching hi-hat and maudlin strings) yanked cause it near blew the speakers.   

       The other option is to have a preprogrammed (but alterable) list of music that Shall Not Be Played On This Stereo in case anybody does bring round any Mariah. When such music is insterted, the disc tray shoots open, spitting the CD across the room, accompanied by a cat/hairball noise. Perhaps not so discreet, but satisfying nonetheless.
calum, Oct 02 2002
  

       Methinks this is a solution with not much problem underpinning it. You can simply hide the offending CDs, or try giving them away at garage/boot sales, or use them as ornaments.
PeterSilly, Oct 02 2002
  

       I believe jutta once had a thought to use them to scrape snow off your car. It's almost winter here, and I have an old "Motown's Greatest HIts" looking mighty vulnerable.
blissmiss, Oct 02 2002
  

       Most CD players with CD-Text capability could conceivably be programmed to ignore/botch playback of bands you've deemed not worthy of your soundsystem. "Whoops, sorry, this CD player doesn't do R&B.."
Mr Burns, Oct 02 2002
  

       No, my snow scraper was 31/2" diskettes, not CD Jewelboxes. (Although they might work.)
Wow, someone other than me owns a Senor Coconut CD?!
jutta, Oct 02 2002
  

       Jutta, having heard calum's Senor Coconut album, I am gobsmacked to learn that you own it, too. I didn't think there were TWO people quite that mad in the world.   

       Croissant for the idea, calum, but it would be even better if the stereo delivered a small but nonetheless painful electric shock to anyone trying to press the eject button when especially good albums are being played. *THAT*'ll learn them. <smirk>
salachair, Oct 03 2002
  

       I am currently working on a DFS virus distributed via CD that prevents the stereo from playing anything *except* Senor Coconut...
wagster, Dec 07 2004
  

       I'm sorry [wags], I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
<starts singing Daisy>
methinksnot, Jan 18 2007
  

       What about a market for CD's painted to look like Senor Coconut (whoever he is), but in reality are Nirvana? Your friend can't tell by looking that it's not the right CD, and once it's playing it's easier to just get used to it.
phundug, Jan 18 2007
  

       [methinksnot], you're three years too late! [wags] has released his infernal virus and everything in the Charts is, in fact, Senor Coconut. You've just gotten used to it.
theleopard, Jan 19 2007
  
      
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