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Deep Sea Archival Service (by pirates)

We drag your docs underwater! Cheaper!
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[Business: Archiving ?]

The costs of storing large amounts of paper documentation soon adds up when you realise how much space it all takes up. This service stores paper documentation where it's very far from most normal risks such as fire or squirrel ingress.

This business service offers to store archival documentation in the deep ocean. As the documents are placed on conveyor belts leading underwater, the pressure causes all the data on the documents to be compressed down to a fraction of their normal size.

Consequently, and despite the fact that there's essentially no storage space problem under the ocean anyway, the storage space problem is alleviated - all the archives are compressed down to the size (but not shape) of a pea. Retrieving an archived document from the depths expands the data back to how it started.

Ian Tindale, Jan 21 2005

idea/Bureaucracia Bureaucracia
I'm way ahead of you, [Basepair]. [Detly, Apr 03 2005]

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       So it isn't retrievable in any way, shape, or form then?
gnomethang, Jan 21 2005
  

       Sorry!. I just answered my own question!.
gnomethang, Jan 21 2005
  

       Sure, why not? Besides, it gives us another reason to send the new guy down to documents to get something.
shapu, Jan 21 2005
  

       It's possible to etch the entire works of Dickens onto a single square inch of glass, I heard. What archival problems?
Detly, Jan 21 2005
  

       wouldn't the water ruin the paper? maybe they could be sealed in laminate first. wait. that would cause air bubbles which would burst and then we'd be back on square one with soggy documents
schematics, Jan 22 2005
  

       Given the low cost of telecommunications, could we not, instead, merely relocate the entire bureaucratic division of a company at the bottom of the ocean? The compression of bureaucrats, as well as their paperwork, can only be a benefit.
Basepair, Apr 02 2005
  

       [-] Sorry Ian but once you retreived the documents they would not expand back to normal size as the air has been compressed out of them and underwater there is no air available to return them to their normal size. Nice try though.
Muzzanator, Apr 04 2005
  
      
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