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Der Middle Ages condundrum

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Pondering on the effable, I got a bit obsessed with the Middle Ages.

Problem is, what will they be called in 5000 years from now? They will not be in the middle anymore.

Perhaps, a history book with slidey sections or just get a 3 ring binder.

not_morrison_rm, Dec 13 2018

Cretaceous–Paleogene boundary https://en.wikipedi...3Paleogene_boundary
" ... the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event ... which destroyed a majority of the world's Mesozoic species" [8th of 7, Dec 13 2018]

Ozymandias http://www.poetryby...k/poems/ozymandias/
[xenzag, Dec 13 2018]

[link]






       // what will they be called in 5000 years //   

       Kind of depends on whether your species starts building self-reliant off-world colonies before the asteroid hits your planet and you get another K-Pg extinction event. <link>
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       They won't be called anything, in much the same way as people (apart from historians specialising in the period) don't differentiate between the different periods of Ancient Egypt - it's all just "Ancient Egypt". In 5000 years' time the whole of the last 2000 years will be part of "Ancient Europe", with maybe two or three characters from the period known to most people - Neil Armstrong, Jesus, Shakespeare...
hippo, Dec 13 2018
  

       ... Hitler ...
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       I don't think many people will know much about Hitler in 5000 years. He's infamous now because he's in the very recent past, but in 5000 years he'll blur into just being one of many people in Ancient Europe who did horrible things. Neil Armstrong will be remembered because there can only ever be one person who's the first to stand on the surface of another world.
hippo, Dec 13 2018
  

       It's certainly a common problem, one shared by "modern" artists, "neo" nazis, "new" romantics and the nouveau riche.
zen_tom, Dec 13 2018
  

       / I don't think many people will know much about Hitler //   

       Cyrus the Great, Ahkenaton, Xerxes, Hattusili, Alexander, Agamemnon ... ?   

       OK, only in the 3-4 kYr range, but once you're remembered past the first thousand years you're over the hard bit ...
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       In 5000 years, we might still be calling them the "Middle Ages" just out of habit, having forgotten why they were called "middle". After all, we still call New York New York*, even though it's no longer new. Even New Zealand is getting on.   

       Incidentally, in a small town near where I grew up, there are two pubs: The Old White Hart, and The New White Hart. The New White Hart dates from about 1750. Either the owners of the Old White Hart were prescient, or it's been renamed.   

       (*To be precise, we still call New York, New York New York, New York.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2018
  

       I'd be very pessimistic as to the prospect of the survival of diversity of life forms on Earth, given accelerating global warming and the refusal of major governments (like Trump's USA) to accept that it's caused by the over consumption of coal and other fossil fuels. Combine this with the mass exterminations of insect, bird, animal and fish (which are increasingly full of plastic) and you have the creation of a dead zone, that may remain in place for a long period of time equivalent to an era. The era of ultimate arrogance, ignorance and self destruction.   

       I imagine Ozymandias's statue being discovered as a surviving remnant, only this version has tiny hands, and the grin of a stupefied baboon that has just head-butted a lamppost.
xenzag, Dec 13 2018
  

       // accept that it's caused by the over consumption of coal and other fossil fuels. //   

       Where is the rigorous, scientific proof ? All you have so far is a very short term temperature trend.   

       Age of planet: > 2.5 Billion years.   

       Period of temperature dataset: 250 years.   

       Percentage of planetary existence covered by temperature dataset: < 0.000001%   

       // creation of a dead zone, that may remain in place for a long period of time equivalent to an era. //   

       Our work here is nearly done ...   

       // The era of ultimate arrogance, ignorance and self destruction. //   

       You think ? Just wait until Mike Pence gets elected ... you ain't seen nuthin yet ...   

       Six more years of the Don, eight years of Mike ... there won't be a single leaf or a blade of grass left - apart from the ones that the Germans have engineered to be able to survive in a methane/sulphur dioxde/carbon dioxide atmosphere. Like Venus, but with coal-fired cars ...
8th of 7, Dec 13 2018
  

       I would just like to thank [xen] for bringing to our attention these pressing issues which would otherwise have been neglected.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2018
  

       Despite being more or less easterly, the Midwest is still called the Midwest.   

       And there are parts of Maine called 'downeast.'   

       Here in Detroit-land the city of Northville is straight west of Southfield. And Chippewa Valley High School is in Mt. Pleasant, which is as flat as a pancake.   

       Geography was a challenge for our ancestors apparently.
RayfordSteele, Dec 14 2018
  

       Yes, well, if you will rely on the compasses you get out of those cheap Christmas crackers ...
8th of 7, Dec 14 2018
  

       Christmas crackers are a British thing. You never find them here.
RayfordSteele, Dec 14 2018
  

       //After all, we still call New York New York//   

       It's worse than that; we still call Neapolis nea (perhaps because, in the anglicized version, "Ples" without the "Na" would be hard to pronounce). And if Carthage still existed ("Kart-Hadasht" - "New City"), we wouldn't have got around to renaming that, either.
pertinax, Dec 14 2018
  

       // You never find them here. //   

       No wonder your maps are so messed up. Where do you get your compasses from, then ?
8th of 7, Dec 14 2018
  
      
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