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Neural Knotwork
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Roland chuckled to himself as he tightened the last screw. He absently stroked the long, gleaming door handle, moulded accurately to the shape of his personal hero, Ron Jeremy. Roland reflected that he was roughly the same shape as Ron, and had about as much hair... but I digress.
The "knob" stood
out stiffly from the door, shining silver, with a glistening drop of lubricant in the "keyhole". Roland swung the door open, stopping it in front of the adjustable stocks, then measured the distance from doorknob to floor. Perfect.
The clients would be pleased, now that the door to their sumptuous, private bedroom had been rendered a desirable plaything, as they required.
All that remained was to fix the electrical circuits, to activate the buzzer function. Roland pushed aside the leather restraint straps on the stocks and got to work.
First use of [marked-for-tagline]?
Segway_20Hoverdisc
If so, it's a beauty of an intro, as introduced by [bris] herself.. Maybe not, but the first use I can discern.. [daseva, Aug 19 2006]
(?) It could even be your very own!
www.matchyoursnatch.com
No knockers unfortunatley... [benindubai, Aug 21 2006]
[link]
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[marked-for-tagline]: "Oh-oh-oh-nnngh!" |
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Sounds like the punchline to "What do you get when you cross a locksmith with a pimp?" |
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UB, you are one sick puppy. And I wish I'd thought of it first. |
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<aside>Q. How do you make Pickle Bread? A. You start with some dill dough.<aside> |
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<aside>
There is a bar in my home town that, when newly opened, had a rather sizeable set of manly bits, in faux bronze, mounted on the door to the gents... |
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(The corresponding loo had breasts. After a week, the avalanche of complaints had them replaced with text.)
<\aside> |
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have we already made a mockery of all doorknobish ideas in the past? Have you, UB, singlehandedly done so in one post? Bun for that. The pun is good, too. |
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Gives a whole new meaning to "you're pulling my plonker" |
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I can't exactly search for these from here, but I'm reasonably certain these exist. (Either someone suggested them on the HB before, or they popped up in porn spam when I was searching for Al Gore. "Doorknob" is an obvious pun, after all.) |
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You were searching for Al Gore porn?
Did you find any?
Is there such a thing as an Al Gore rythym? |
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Doors which don't feature these could have knockers. |
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For the truly kinky they could have both. |
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And a doggy door for doggie-style entry? |
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What a slimy little man that Roland is. I'm sure if I was a woman I would prefer the door knob any day, dildo or not. |
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Roland is but a conduit for the dark side in all of us, [wags]. |
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You have found anatomically correct, vibrating doorknobs, [DC]? What on Earth is the world coming to... err, what's wrong with people... who knew? |
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A bun for this lowest form of wheat. |
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Puts on a Steely Dan album |
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Comments not germane to the discussion have been removed. |
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"make up your mind, in or out." |
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I wonder if there is an Al Gore Rythym Method [2 fries] |
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Will you stop opening the door without knocking - it's a total pain in the arse. |
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Hi [em], where've you been all this time? <waves> |
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I'm imagining an (imaginary) episode of Seinfeld featuring one of these.
"Kramer!" <nnngh!> |
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