Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dillinger Farewell

Rob us First Federal
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How in the world can we justify the thousands of bank robberies that take place every year? And how easy would it be to eliminate this dangerous practice for all time?

You can rob a bank with any gun, real or plastic. And if you can't afford a plastic gun you can use a pencil and paper. Write a note. And if you forgot pencil and paper, no problem. they have pens and deposit slips right there for your convenience. Illiterate? Inform the teller you have aids.

Pink dye, security cameras, retired security guards, minimum wage tellers, what a joke. Some of these branch offices should just hang up a sign. "Need money? Rob us First Federal"

When Dillinger was asked why he robbed banks, he supposedly stated, "Because that's where the money is."

My question is this. What's all this money doing sitting around it these dinky little doublewide offices?

My answer? simple. A new bank drawer system that never has more than $5 in it at any given time.

{{ 4 star rating ::::viewed 0:2:4:3:::: times }}

r_kreher, Jun 10 2008

FBI Statistics 3 mos http://www.fbi.gov/...nk_crime_2007q2.htm
[r_kreher, Jun 10 2008]

(?) Scarecrow Bandits http://bandittracke.../scarecrow-bandits/
[r_kreher, Jun 20 2008]

Pneumatic tubes. http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Pneumatic_tube
No money in those ATMs... until you ask for it... [ye_river_xiv, Dec 18 2011]

[link]






       So, if I need $50 gas money I'm S.O.O.L.?
Klaatu, Jun 10 2008
  

       no. not at all. the teller would put in an electronic request for $50 and it would be delivered to her. Electronically. Discreetly. To her drawer.
r_kreher, Jun 10 2008
  

       Plenty of banks don't even have that much; if the cashier wants cash he/she goes to the cash office and gets it... or to a machine. (yup, a bank machine for banks)
FlyingToaster, Jun 10 2008
  

       //A new bank drawer system that never has more than $5 in it at any given time//
You mean like the banks that have pneumatic delivery systems from the strongroom to the teller?
So very baked.
coprocephalous, Jun 10 2008
  

       Look at the link for FBI statistics for 3 months. 13 million dollars. <SEE LINK> If these new pnumatic drawers are so baked, I've never seen one and why aren't they being installed?
r_kreher, Jun 10 2008
  

       Security Devices Maintained by Victim Institutions   

       Alarm System 1,368   

       Surveillance Cameras 1,404   

       Bait Money 1,054   

       Guards 98   

       Tear Gas/Dye Packs 414   

       Electronic Tracking 114   

       Bullet-Resistant Enclosures 115   

       Please Note!!! No Automatic Dillinger repelling automatic teller drawers listed...
r_kreher, Jun 10 2008
  

       That's probably because it doesn't work.   

       Before and after installation of your drawer, the teller cooperates with the bankrobber to give them money, just like the teller cooperates with a regular customer to give them money.   

       Your system only works if the bankrobber has to physically grab the money with an uncooperating teller; that's not how bankrobberies work.
jutta, Jun 10 2008
  

       So is this idea //so very baked// or is this an idea that //doesn't work// ???   

       Which one is it? pick. choose. so we can continue this annosation.
r_kreher, Jun 10 2008
  

       Actually, you'll find that these coincide a lot; it usually means that the general area of an idea has been traversed before, but the specifics don't work.   

       Differences in interpretation of your post by different reviewers shouldn't keep you from addressing each comment on its own merits.
jutta, Jun 10 2008
  

       two banks. opposite sides of the street.   

       bank one, six tellers. all with cash drawers filled to the brim because it is Friday, and a lot of cash deposits are being made.   

       bank two. six tellers. all with the new Dillinger-b-Gone cashless cash drawers. There is no cash in the drawers. There is a sign outside bank two that reads, "Because we honor our customers and want to provide them with utmost in safety and convenience, all of our tellers are equipped with the new RapidTeller Accuracy and Security Nu-Bank system.   

       Make the call, Jutta. which one you gonna rob...
r_kreher, Jun 10 2008
  

       If you asked me (which you didn't, but if you had), I would go for the one with the Dillinger-be-Gone.   

       First, it looks like a pain in the arse for legitimate customers, so there will probably be fewer of them using that bank. Too many customers get in the way.   

       Second, given that it is a bank then, as Jutta pointed out, they must have *some* way of giving the customer their cash; hence, they can use the same means to give me my loot.   

       Third, this bank is run by idiots who put their trust in this dumb system, and hence probably feel they need no other security. It'll be a complete walkover in the woods.   

       <psst - Jutta - you go for the other bank at the same time; there are only so many police in the neighbourhood>
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 10 2008
  

       "The woods are lovely, dark and deep......"
8th of 7, Jun 10 2008
  

       Pedantry: Dillinger wasn't the one who said, "Because that's where the money is." It was William Sutton, called Willie Sutton. And he says that he didn't say it either, some reporter made it up.   

       The idea is obvious, and probably already as baked as is feasible.   

       (I once left a note for a house-mate, asking for his rent money, written on a 5 x 7 card. He flipped the card over, wrote "I have a gun in my pocket" on the back, and took it to the local pizza place. They gave him money, but he never got home with it.)
baconbrain, Jun 10 2008
  

       //Pedantry: Dillinger wasn't the one who said, "Because that's where the money is//   

       That's why I said "supposedly". Dillinger was cocky enough to say it, Sutton had the creativity and sense of humor. We may never know. Maybe it was Robert Frost.
r_kreher, Jun 11 2008
  

       It has become apparent that a manager of a small branch office has only one philosophy when it comes to daytime robberies, and that is:   

       “Give them the Euros and the Pounds and your brolly if you must but get them out of my bank, as quickly and quietly as possible. Drop in some dye, some marked bills, sound the silent alarm if you have the wherewithal, but do what they say and get them gone from here.“   

       Our RapidTeller Accuracy and Security Nu-Bank system is designed to ward off these ham-fisted ruffians, and have them go down the motorway and rob a petrol station instead.   

       For as Jonn Dillinger often said, “A gram of prevention is worth a kilogram of cure.”   

       And Willie (the shake) Sutton was very fond of saying, “Why would I rob a bank if there wasn’t any money in the Dillinger-b-Gone cashless cash drawers??
r_kreher, Jun 11 2008
  

       You guys have not been following the news lately. . . All you have to do to steal great quantities of cash is start your own 'energy company' and apply for subsidies. Works every time. No police involved. Rarely any shooting either.
Moonguy, Jun 13 2008
  

       Teller is reached via a small killing room, one person inside at the time, thick steel walls, big claymore-style directional mines pointed about the place. Teller is behind a significant polycarbonate screen. With multiple panic buttons. Any sign of trouble, they hit the button, setting off the claymores, instantly.   

       Perhaps a less-than-lethal option using beanbags or tasers or something.
Custardguts, Jun 13 2008
  

       Custardguts The "killing room" concept is alive and well in Italy!! To enter a bank they buzz you in to a small holding room. The door closes behind you. Then they buzz you into the bank. For a few seconds you are in a small, locked, elevator-sized room. You leave the bank the same way. it gives a robber pause.
r_kreher, Jun 20 2008
  

       It is illegal to "trap" somebody for any period of time. This means that the cubicles, we have them over here by the way, are legally required to have multiple overides. This presents a weakness in the cubicle system. Our banks have opted for the above mentioned pnuematic system. Tellers seldom have *any* cash on hand. Our criminals, god blessem, now blow up ATMs. I would imagine, if asked, their reply would be similar to: "Cause that's where the money is and the guards aren't"
4whom, Jun 20 2008
  

       Somebody forgot to tell the scarecrow bandits. Please see the latest, and very current link.
r_kreher, Jun 20 2008
  

       It comes down to being a lot cheaper for the insurance company to pay off on stolen money than it does for the same insurance company to pay off a wrongful death suit when the irate robber shoots a teller (and, I suppose, some actual value put on a human life). That's why the tellers have instructions to cooperate.   

       Since that's the case, as long as the teller can get the money, they will and give it to the robber.   

       Unless the controller in the central point is willing to risk the tellers life, putting all the money in a central location would just give the robber access to the total from a single point, rather than just one drawers worth.
MechE, Dec 18 2011
  

       Just get the US to adopt the Pangolian Schinff as the national currency. The bank might still get robbed but, without some serious pumping equipment and multiple tanker lorries, they won't get very far.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 18 2011
  

       But in that scenario, *everyone* would bring tankers to the bank, and the bank would have to provide adequate parking, and probably pumps as well ... so the requirement for tankers wouldn't hamper the villans, much. Except when it came to the "high speed chase." In the interests of fairness, the police should be required to drive hook-and-ladder trucks in pursuit.
mouseposture, Dec 18 2011
  

       Yes but, on the plus side, if significant amounts of money were stolen, any hydrogeologist would be able to trace them.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 18 2011
  
      
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