Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Disruptively Patterned Tablecloth

To reduce the appearance of dirt.
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Conventional tablecloths tend to be in one solid colour, or a simple pattern. These both make any spillage or dirt far too easy to discern.

Enter the Disruptively Patterned Tablecloth. Its design is based on the camouflage patterns as worn by various armies' soldiers, but are in colours more like food than forest.

Now, although dirt will still be visible if searched for, its outline will be disrupted and it will be much harder to notice at a brief glance, and you can avoid embarrasment when guests come to your house and your children have just eaten.

dbmag9, Jun 24 2008

Dazzle camouflage http://en.wikipedia...i/Dazzle_camouflage
[calum, Jun 24 2008]

Find the baby puke on my blouse! http://mybedazzler.com/
speaks for itself really. (NSFW) or normal human interaction. [4whom, Jun 24 2008]

you might enjoy my *disruptive* tablecloth (+ for you) Operating_20Room_20Souvenir_20Tablecloth
[xandram, Jun 25 2008]

[link]






       I can't wait for the release of your new undergarment range. It will be streaks ahead of the competition.
4whom, Jun 24 2008
  

       <throws ball of paper at {4whom}>
8th of 7, Jun 24 2008
  

       Alternatively, a Norman Wilkinson dazzle ships style camo, so that the table is still visible, but it is impossible to tell how far away it is. Even if you've got a telegraph.
calum, Jun 24 2008
  

       [calum] If you put a large black platter on it it would look like the dark encroachment of an old catastrophe.
nomocrow, Jun 24 2008
  

       Mandelbrot tablecloth ?
8th of 7, Jun 24 2008
  

       [8th of 7]'s wad misses because [4whom] has used his bedazzler. <see link>   

       And they say you don't learn something new everyday...
4whom, Jun 24 2008
  

       Anybody seen my collection of octopuses? I just put them down here on the table for a second and now I can't see them anywhere.
Ian Tindale, Jun 24 2008
  

       Look over there - <points> - they may be in that box of chameleons and cuttlefish.
8th of 7, Jun 24 2008
  

       [calum] Yes, the Norman Wilkinson tablecloth - an excellent idea.
hippo, Jun 25 2008
  

       Much better than the Norman Wisdom tablecloth ....
8th of 7, Jun 25 2008
  

       But not as good as the Tommy Cooper tablecloth.
Ian Tindale, Jun 25 2008
  

       It's seizure-ific!
Noexit, Jun 25 2008
  
      
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