Dubbel Zout Man

With crime running rife, unchecked and amok in The Netherlands there is a vacancy for a new superhero.

You can now buy a "Local Crime Fighter" franchise to become your suburb's "Dubbel Zout Man" (Double Salt Man).

After an intensive training period, during which you learn self-defence, unarmed combat, local law, calligraphy, graffiti tag recognition, ikebana and five-star cooking, you will be kitted out with your uniform and weaponry.

You will get to dress in a svelte, form-fitting, non-reflective, Kevlar and Spandex black body suit, wear a mask and carry around pouches of salted aniseed balls that you throw, shoot and roll at offenders.

Your utility belt also contains:
- Lengths of dacron-reinforced liquorice rope for tying up drug dealers and villains.
- Hundreds of strong, salted liquorice fish, for gagging offenders.
- An air pistol that fires hard aniseed sweets at speeds sufficient to incapacitate but not kill.
- Small packets of sweets to give to children and people you accidentally maim, injure or wrongfully arrest.
- A jet black mobile 'phone that can only be used if you are wearing your special glasses that allow you to read the buttons and screen. At all other times it just looks like a featureless, inert, black monolith 4 x 9 x 1 centimetres in size.

Once you detain an evildoer you dump them furtively on the doorstep of your local police station, where they will be questioned and dealt with by the justice system, which finds new vigour and resolve in light of your enthusiastic anti-criminal activities.

NB Not to be confused with "Dubbel Nederlander Man" (Double Dutch Man), who talks his opponents into exhausted submission with long and confusing monologues that really make no sense at all... kinda like Bruce Willis but without the blood, broken glass and sweaty singlet.