Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Duel Commode

Competitive Crapping
  (+12, -3)(+12, -3)
(+12, -3)
  [vote for,
against]

Who's more full of shit? Find out definitively with the duel commode!

A double seated porcelain toilet; each bowl equipped with an array of sophisticated presicion measuring devices that log mass, volume and force of evacuation. Data is displayed on a tank-mounted LED screen, and the winner is indicated by flashing whoopy lights.

The Duel Toilet saves the top ten scores!

MikeD, Jan 27 2010

Toiletron Toiletron
by hippo [calum, Jan 28 2010]

[link]






       [marked-for-deletion] Gross-out "humour".
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 27 2010
  

       //[marked-for-deletion]//   

       Sp. defecation
MikeD, Jan 27 2010
  

       sp. "definitively" sp. "porcelain""
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 27 2010
  

       [AWOL], fixed.
MikeD, Jan 27 2010
  

       The bowls are made of glass, not ceramic, with the audience seated around and a little lower than the competitors. Big screens for close-up video feed.
pocmloc, Jan 27 2010
  

       [+] HA! LOL! So to determine log mass, will the waste product be measured by weight or by volume?
Jscotty, Jan 27 2010
  

       think we're going for overall kinetic energy.
FlyingToaster, Jan 27 2010
  

       Would that be kinetic energy from the time of release or from the time of impact? If you have semi-loose stools, you are more likely to make an impact compared to the guy that eats a lot of cheese and does not drink enough water.
Jscotty, Jan 27 2010
  

       Further research may be necessary to find the optimum drop height to even out texture variations.
FlyingToaster, Jan 27 2010
  

       Would this be a spectator sport, with leagues and scheduled matches with announcers ("let's get ready to rumbullllllll...") and loud music and flashing lights, and ornate belts for the winners, and competitors wearing special outfits with sponsor logos? Would you be disqualified for pissing, or is there some sort of sieve to keep that from affecting the tally?
tatterdemalion, Jan 27 2010
  

       Slow down, you're moving too fast.
<resumes taking notes>
-eat less cheese
-drink more water
-whole kernel or cream-of?
  

       Though I think this idea is minimally funny, the smell of two poopers pooping simultaneously might just be overwhelming.
blissmiss, Jan 27 2010
  

       purged bun [+]
Mustardface, Jan 28 2010
  

       //measured by weight or by volume?//   

       Both will be factored into the overall score. I won't have people bulking up on fiber to flub the results.   

       //we're going for overall kinetic energy//   

       Spot on [FT]. I'm sure it could be extrapolated through the change in volume and mass with respect to time.   

       //purged bun//   

       Mass: .5 Kilograms   

       Volume: .5 liters   

       KE: .5 joules   

       Elapsed time: .5 seconds   

       <flashing lights>
MikeD, Jan 28 2010
  

       EEeeeeeeeewwwwww.   

       [+]
8th of 7, Jan 28 2010
  

       //I won't have people bulking up on fiber to flub the results.// So I guess this is suffice to say that if someone takes those psyllium fiber capsules that causes them to excrete those 4-foot long mucus coated rope turds...
Jscotty, Jan 28 2010
  

       Uh huh, huh. You said 'log.'
RayfordSteele, Jan 28 2010
  

       Complete that thought [Jscotty].
rcarty, Jan 28 2010
  

       ...that they will be disqualified.
Jscotty, Jan 28 2010
  
      
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