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Duff newspapers capillary action power

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Finally, some way to a positive use for all those redtop newspapers.

Collect the papers, put between two boards, place in chamber with layer of water, the chamber has a flexible panel. As the water is sucked up by capillary action, it creates a vacuum, flexing the panel which is connected to a generator. Repeat.

not_morrison_rm, Mar 18 2017

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       (A) I don't understand this and (B) you will need to replace or dry out the newspapers at each step.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 18 2017
  

       and ( C ) something something mumble mumble oh ... never mind. Duff ?
popbottle, Mar 18 2017
  

       //I don't understand this   

       Hmmm. Ok...I might go for a re-write of this. just using gravity. Lots of newspaper aligned vertically in a container which can slide vertically on two or more poles*, with the bottom of the newspapers dipped into water.   

       The water will sneak up the paper due to capillary action and so the container gets heavier, and exerts more force downwards on [a machine that makes electricity, of your choice].   

       Last stage of the process is sling away the soggy newspapers, and start again.   

       //Duff. Meaning - no good, doesn't work, etc. Not to be confused with 'up the duff', or Duff Cooper, or Hilary Duff.   

       * no, the other type.
not_morrison_rm, Mar 18 2017
  

       This is about reusing, recycling and global warming. Right? What does redtop mean.
pashute, Mar 20 2017
  

       //Last stage of the process is sling away the soggy newspapers, and start again. //   

       Ah, but there is a better way. Give the soggy newspapers to the homeless to sleep under - their body heat will dry them out, and they can then be reclaimed and reused.   

       [pashute] a "redtop" is a tabloid newspaper of the lower classes, so called because the Sun (one such paper, in the UK) has its title printed in red.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 20 2017
  

       // Give the soggy newspapers to the homeless to sleep under - their body heat will dry them out, and they can then be reclaimed and reused. //   

       On cold nights, this will rapidly induce potentially fatal hypothermia.   

       Utter brilliance - dry newspaper for re-use, and the deceased homeless can be quietly reprocessed into soap, lampshades, bonemeal and petfood*. [++++] doubleplusgood !   

       *And, of course, Soylent Green...
8th of 7, Mar 20 2017
  
      
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