Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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Edible Bike Helmet

Safety never tasted so good.
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Imagine crusty bread that tastes like its right out of the oven at the end of your rigorous bike trip. Imagine healthy, portable and safe snacks for your active kids. Yes, thanks to the easy Safe 'n Tasty bread boule chin strap system, you can quickly and easily modify any bread boule to fit the contour of your head. The thick and crusty outside protects you from the hazards of the road, the fresh, warm interior gently cusions your skull throughout your ride. The absorbent bread gently whisks the sweat from your brow and imparts novel complexity to soups and stews. Never again will you struggle to fit the entire loaf in your backpack or arrvie with an embarrassing crushed boule.
WcW, Feb 16 2008

"The infamous bread helmet" http://www.duffsbro...rated&cat=0&pos=126
Whu? [jutta, Feb 16 2008]

Another Bread Helmet http://www.cartoonc...oceries-by-bicycle/
Sadly, this method won't absorb body fluids. OK, maybe some. [Amos Kito, Feb 16 2008]

Kitty Bread Hat http://www.funnycut...20130213-084731.jpg
Finally, an easy way to piss off a cat. [Amos Kito, Feb 16 2008, last modified May 07 2013]

Alternative Approach http://distractible...e_head_2%5B3%5D.jpg
[DrCurry, Feb 19 2008]

[link]






       This is unsafe to the max. A lot of people have wheat allergies without even realising it.   

       [eschewing opportunity to shoehorn in an 'eat my hat' related quip]
Ian Tindale, Feb 16 2008
  

       2 Questions:   

       1) What about the ride back?   

       2) Do you like your bread to taste like sweat and hair products?   

       But at least you're thinking [+/-] = []
bleh, Feb 16 2008
  

       Ahh, therein lies the beauty of the design, for the boule is perfectly round in it's proportion, allowing the wearer to easily cut it in half...making immenently more stowable as the replacement bread-helmet for your return journey.Wearing the half boule indicates to observers that you have already eaten and are on the return leg of the journey.   

       Safe 'n Tasty's full line of products includes the Baklava Bikini and the Toasted Pita Hardhat all including this partial-consumption-full function technology.
WcW, Feb 16 2008
  

       I have seen a lot of unsafe bike helmets. Those bare polystyrene helmets, often white lor black, offer no protection for the wearer as the polystyrene has got no hard shell which would slide when hitting on the road surface. Instead those helmets will grip on and break the wearers neck in worst case!   

       This type of bread helmet would be even less safe. What about the temptation of eating part of it before you get to your destination?   

       What happens when it starts raining? What about seagulls and ducks? Would they attack the rider?
Pellepeloton, Feb 16 2008
  

       Fortunately, Safe 'n Tasty has a rain guard with twist tie that it sells separately in the Bread Specialty isle. As to the temptation to eat the bread en route--the choice of bicyclists to use gear appropriately is entirely up to them. Safety is not the only design feature that should be considered when developing a new product. I might as well note that all the products currently on the market are incredibly flavorless and have unpleasant textures. When eaten they will make you sick, possibly kill you, yet bear no warning as to this danger.
WcW, Feb 16 2008
  

       No pain, no gain.
Ian Tindale, Feb 16 2008
  

       Single most half baked thing I've ever read.
Noexit, Feb 18 2008
  

       Mmmm-mmmm! Sweat and hair oil flavored bread...Just like Mom used to bake.
Blisterbob, Feb 18 2008
  

       //This is unsafe to the max.// Can't have that, then.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 18 2008
  
      
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