However, for those who have problems, I offer the Electrospray Urinal. It comes in two parts.

The first part is a discreet metal plate, on which the urinator stands. Rubber footwear should be removed at this point. The plate is connected to a van der Giraffe generator (which, optionally, can be activated by a pressure sensor beneath the pad), charging the superincumbent person up to several kilovolts (either polarity is fine).

The second part is the bowl or urinal, which has a metal liner. The liner is charged with the opposite polarity to the metal plate.

To use, just unzip, point your penis anywhere in the general direction of the bowl or urinal, and wait.

The electrospray technique is used in mass spectroscopy and other applications. It relies on the fact that a highly-charged liquid (eg urine) wants to get away from itself very badly. At a sufficiently high voltage, it will spontaneously flow out of the end of a nozzle (eg a penis), in a jet of almost exquisitely small droplets. No effort is required on your part. These droplets fan out (to escape one another, being highly and similarly charged), and spontaneously split into a succession of ever smaller droplets as they go.

The key, of course, is to have the bowl or urinal at the opposite polarity. The fan of droplets emerging from the urinator will curve inwards, making a beeline (technically, a peeline) for the metal liner of the receptacle.

There is one important point to note. Athough it doesn't matter which way round the plate and receptacle are wired (ie, positive to negative, or vice versa), it is extremely important that all Electrospray Urinals in a multi-urinal setting are wired with the same polarity. If they are not, on no account cross the streams.