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Well, not exactly "you" as such, but maybe your children.
Some tribes are known for lengthening their necks by
wearing rings which slowly stretch them over many years,
starting during childhood.
I propose to apply this principle to the optic nerve. At an
early age, a small ring is fitted
around the nerve at the
point where it joins the eyeball. As the child ages, more
rings are slowly added, until the day occurs when the
eyeballs can be popped completely free of the skull.
At this point the rings are removed and replaced with a
short section of the "gooseneck" material used for
microphone stands. This section continues to be gradually
lengthened over time.
In this manner, once you reach adulthood, you will have
fully-fledged eyeballs on stalks!
The many practical benefits of this idea include:
- The ability to look in two directions at once.
- The ability to bend your eyes completely round to the
back of your head, just so that you can have eyes "in"
(kinda) the back of your head.
- The ability to point your eyes directly at each other, so
that you can look yourself in the eye without needing a
- For the fashion-conscious, the endless potential for
accessorizing by clipping all manner of glitzy LED-
illuminated thingies to the stalk just behind the eyeball.
- The promise of do-it-yourself colonoscopies.
Skayan Lahwi women
great pics actually that illustrate the ability of parts of the human anatomy to be extended. [xenzag, Oct 19 2018]
 How Much the Eye Tells the Brain
Koch et al, 2006. Abstract only mentions guinea pig result [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]
 Penn researchers calculate how much the eye tells the brain
Press release about , which mentions an estimate for human [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]
 Conduction velocity, size and distribution of optic nerve axons in the turtle, Pseudemys scripta elegans
Woodbury & Ulinski, 1986 [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]
 Decreased nerve conduction velocity in optic nerve following early post-natal low-dose lead exposure
Conradi, Sjöström, Gustafsson, & Wigström, 1990 [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]
 Dynamic Modulation of Myelination in Response to Visual Stimuli Alters Optic Nerve Conduction Velocity
Exteberria et al, 2016 [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]
||I'm amazed no one's already done this
||I just wish someone would invent some automatic capture device which could be put on stalks instead of my childrens' eyeballs.
||This is possibly the best idea ever.
||I forsee a couple of problems with this.
||at the same time, lengthen the tongue for cleansing the eyeballs.
||The nerve of some people...
||I would think the optics on this idea would be poor...
||I wonder what the baud rate of the optic nerve is,
and how much signal delay an additional few inches
||^ hehe. He said 'baud rate'.
||I can't see this catching on.
||//I can't see this catching on.// You've never been to a
buffet lunch in Saudi, have you, [bliss]?
||//I can't see this catching on.//
||Time to add another ring?
||She's probably never been in a Turkish prison, either.
||Don't those women actually end up with lowered shoulders instead of elongated
||// I wonder what the baud rate of the optic nerve is //
||8.75 Mb/s for guinea pig , ~10 Mb/s for human .
||// how much signal delay an additional few inches would be //
||That obviously depends on how fast the signal travels. In red-eared turtles, it's 1,
3, or 13 m/s depending on axon diameter (with different diameters going to
different places in the brain and presumably carrying different types of data) .
In rats there are also three groups of axons, with the faster of the two conducting
at 5.4 and 16.8 m/s in normal rats, vs. 5.8 and 10.3 in rats given a low dose of
lead early in life and 5.2 and 9.4 in rats given a higher dose . Also, apparently
it changes with myelination, which itself changes based on what visual stimuli the
eyes are exposed to .
||I have a theory, well, not a theory and more of a
guess, about the eyestalks of slugs and snails.
These appendages are ways of presenting the eyes,
together with an olfactory sensory pair, with an
advantageously high point of view and wide
spacing. However, I suspect they also have an
element of functionality as a kind of antenna,
much like a radio antenna, but not using radio
energy as we know it. Similarly with insect
antenna. Moth antenna are complex (in about
three different forms feather, taper, clubbed,
whereas the more evolved butterfly has only the
clubbed form (except for skippers, which are the
most moth-like of the butterflies and have tapered
antenna)). Generally the antenna of moths are
thought to be pheromone sensors, and indeed they
are, but I suspect there is an additional or
overloaded use in all insects as an antenna in the
||This idea could go very well with the one
encouraging you pr brain cells to grow outside of
your skull. Consider the volume taken up by your
eyeballs and how much additional grey matter that
could yield, with a ready-made access port.