h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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My daughter is into pixies & fairies, in a big way. This sort of thing happens when you're three years old. Trouble is, there's not a lot of them around, that I've noticed.
To resolve this conundrum, we have developed a range of formfitting suits, to be worn by specially trained homing pigeons,
who dress up as fairies and put on a bit of an aerobatic display at little girls' birthday parties, before flitting away home.
A very small sound system sprouts phrases like, "You have three wishes", and, "We can all live happily ever after", if your chosen bird isn't so good with English. The suits also incorporate small pouches of glitter, that may be opened remotely during the show, to enable "fairy dust bombing runs".
For bigger critters, like sprites and elves, we have plans to move up to geese, pelicans and black swans.
BYO wings, so penguins need not apply.
(?) National Performing Roller (Pigeon) Association
http://www.slobberknockerlofts.com/npra/
NPRA -- "To acknowledge, support, and share the diversity of the performing roller pigeon and its breeders." [reensure, Oct 16 2005]
You might want these, or they'll be spreading more than pixie dust.
http://tecfa.unige....sable-bird-diapers/
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 16 2005]
Almost.
feather_20the_20sporting_20nest
[coprocephalous, Oct 17 2005]
agreed, thumbwax - see what these little minxes got up to.
http://www.randi.org/library/cottingley/
[po, Oct 18 2005]
[link]
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Chickens dressed up as imps, perhaps? + |
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And folks thought I lived off WIBNers? I got shot down for my homing pigeons that delivered resumes, and then brought back the, (negative), responses. |
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And my Tinkerbell Nightlight. You were one of the first that shot her outta the air. |
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And now *you* want magic cause it's your little darling? |
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It's only magic if you believe it's magic, [blissy]. |
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Poor little tyke, she was bawling her heart out late last night because she's the smallest in the family and her birthday isn't until December. |
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Here in Lotus Land there are entire communities of people with formfitting suits, many within the realm of your idea's title, but, alas, none of them can fly. They merely parade their Pride through downtown streets at the drop of a hat. (Needless to say not many folks around here wear hats anymore.) Perhaps we could send some your way to entertain your little one before they flit away home? Their English is pretty good, and I'm sure they can supply their own "fairy dust". |
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To be retracted as soon as H5N1 season opens. |
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Teen, weeny rebreathing apparatus, to protect them against bird flu. |
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what a good idea. now dress them in bikinis for my birthday party. |
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I like this idea [UB] but you've set the bar way too low. Dispense with this cheap talk of pigeons, whose only functions are to eat and spread disease. Your suits should be made for geese:
"Look sweetie, look at the giant, f*ck off fairy. FEEL MY LOVE!" and eagles (evil, divebombing pixies). Then, and only then, my bun shall you have. |
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Tell her that they don't exist, along with <spoiler alert> Santa, the Bogey Man and the Easter Bunny.
It'll save a lot of fuss and she'll thank you for it, in the long run. |
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I don't think I need to tell her. She already tells anyone who'll listen, "I love fairies, but they're only in books and movies, you know. They're not real..." |
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She is savvy way beyond her years, [copro]. I asked her the other day what she had said to her doll, and she answered, "It doesn't matter what I say to her, Daddy, she's just made out of some cloth and stuffing, so she can't hear what I say to her. She doesn't actually have ears" |
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Cynicism sets in at an early age, in our family. |
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I love the geese thing. Incorporated. |
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"Look, Mummy, the fairy just sprinkled me with Pixie dust!" |
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//I love fairies, but they're only in books and movies, you know. They're not real..."// But seeing one will freak her out and undermine her entire world-model/belief-system. This could have serious repercussions on her future mental well-being. Best to start kids on physics text books as bedtime stories as early as possible, maybe even play Stephen Hawking tapes whilst in the womb. |
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As someone who was also once "into pixies & fairies, in a
big way", I think you need to know that a fairer is
generally much smaller than a pigeon. To give you an
idea, a pixie is small enough to sit on a toadstool. Perhaps
specially trained humming birds or praying mantises would
do the trick. |
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A praying mantis [Flux]? Do you think the undisputed winner of the "Real-life creature most likely to have been inspiration for HR Giger's alien" award, a giant insectivore that initiates sex by decapitating its partner, is really the best choice to dress up as a fairy? The kids will shit themselves, and it won't be with delight. |
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And more importantly, if they fly, they don't do it very much. Butterflies, surely, capture our idea of a flittering fairy. |
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Dear UB Services, my son isn't nearly disturbed enough. Please supply a brace of your bikini and rebreather wearing pigeon-fairies to his next birthday party. |
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//Fairies, Pixies & Elves //
No Trolls, then? |
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Next idea: Pixie Hunt Parties. |
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*BANG* "Take that, you stupid little myth, you!" *BANG*. |
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Tell me, why did I read the first anno as "chickens dressed as pimps"? |
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//"chickens dressed as pimps"?// |
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The only thing missing is "u", [ds]. |
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[copro], my son used the word 'sunset' in a sentence recently, when talking to a Swiss exchange student who is staying with us. When she questioned the meaning of the word he explained it. She said, "Like when the sun goes to sleep?". |
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His response: "No, what happens is that the Earth rotates", holding up a fist and rotating it with the fingers of the other hand representing the direction of sunlight, "and the Sun's rays strike a different area of the Earth. The Sun never actually sleeps, so it's always daytime somewhere on the Earth." She just sat there, with her mouth open. |
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Yesterday, he was trying to explain what a "container ship" was. After the second attempt he just drew one, explaining that "stuff is put in containers and loaded onto the deck of the ship, to carry from country to country." |
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I am simply boggled at how quickly kids learn and the complexity of the things they learn, these days. Sure, some of it I have explained, but most of it seems to be coming from preschool and incessant questioning of everyone, about everything. |
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I'm not really worried about freaking them out, as they do it to us very often. We'd only be getting square. |
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They grow up so fast. Some years ago, my Paternal Grandmother bequeathed me her library, which consists of some 400+ hardcovers. While 3/4 of the books are the classics she mostly acquired after entering adulthood, her early childhood's reading material (which is intact, some with her scrawls) was primarily about faeries, with words like *supernatural* and *metaphysics* being bandied about. It seems they didn't talk down to children 100 years ago. While I can't vouch so much for faeries, I believe she carried her belief of the supernatural and metaphysical to her grave. I think her daughter/my aunt got the Ouija board. After all, they used it to communicate with my Grandfather. |
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Before, or after, his demise, [thumb]? |
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I feel I have to represent the silent minority: The penguin resources are under-utilised as they can quite effectively waddle around - much like I expect gnomes to. |
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Yes - well. He's not exactly known for his perambulatory style. |
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It's his ideas that are top-notch. (Good save!) |
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//Before, or after, his demise, [thumb]?
UnaBubba, Oct 18 2005// |
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While we we 'wax cousins were on front porch making rockets utilizing Ohio Blue Tip Matches and aluminum foil, Auntie and Granny were having tearful reunions with 10-years-gone Gramps. |
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What kind of fairy, pixie or elf bobs its head back and forth like its listening to funk music? |
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Two words: Pink Flamingos |
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